Wife thinks the devil is real
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23-03-2014, 09:54 PM
RE: Wife thinks the devil is real
(23-03-2014 09:50 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(23-03-2014 09:35 PM)wazzel Wrote:  I know it is coming Just finding a hard time finding a halfway decent time. Every time I think is a good time she get all worked up about my lack of interest in all things church related and I back down. I know it seems like that would be a good time, but when she is already worked up adding fuel to the fire is not a good thing.

Also, since we have been dealing with kid issues I do not need her freaking out on me. That would really be tough on the kids. I have one prone to self harm and the other will retreat into herself given a bit of mom issues and not resurface for months. They are fairly open to me about their dislike of religion so I am not at all worried about loosing them. My son who is a bit younger may take it hard.

Sounds to me like mom needs some help. Her emotions aren't having a good effect on the kids. Part of the kids' problems may be having a mom prone to 'freaking out'. Just a thought. She need to step up and take care of her own stuff so she can care for her kids...religion or not this doesn't sound healthy.
She is on meds and sees both a counselor and a therapist. It use to be worse. The day after I threatened to throw her out she spent the day at an intervention center. Her behavior does not help at all. It is like dealing for three teen aged girls most of the time around here.
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24-03-2014, 06:26 AM (This post was last modified: 24-03-2014 06:41 AM by WitchSabrina.)
RE: Wife thinks the devil is real
(23-03-2014 09:54 PM)wazzel Wrote:  
(23-03-2014 09:50 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Sounds to me like mom needs some help. Her emotions aren't having a good effect on the kids. Part of the kids' problems may be having a mom prone to 'freaking out'. Just a thought. She need to step up and take care of her own stuff so she can care for her kids...religion or not this doesn't sound healthy.
She is on meds and sees both a counselor and a therapist. It use to be worse. The day after I threatened to throw her out she spent the day at an intervention center. Her behavior does not help at all. It is like dealing for three teen aged girls most of the time around here.

Yeah - you have three girls not two.
*sigh* And I'm so sorry that's your deal right now. That really sucks. Raising teenage daughters is tough enough as it is.

I don't know what trek you need to help your wife gain a religion-free existence. That's more in your life than anyone could really advise. I helped my family (and hubby) years ago to see religion for what it really IS by discussing history realistically. Actually paganism aided us with that. The FACT that so much of the bible is literally stolen from other cultures makes for some good head scratching.

but........ Your situation is a bit more severe than getting someone to simply look at facts. Your wife BELIEVES Satan is real. Absolutely NO JOKE that is some serious shit. I know because my mama was like that. Seriously! TO her dying day she feared Satan and his works. Weeping And there was NO talking her out of that or away from that. SOme people are just that way.

Maybe IF your wife does ANYthing close to serious craziness - don't *throw her out* but rather have her committed for her own good. And in her absence you have a chance to raise your teenage girls with some dignity and realism. Teenagers are going through ENOUGH with identify to be in a set of circumstance that brings drama to the scene.

I know what I've mentioned is incredibly harsh and maybe even unlikely --- but -- your girls are at risk. And whenever kids are at risk you'll see me throw the hammer down. Keep kids from bullshit whenever and however possible. Do whatever it takes. Because being a good parent and opening the door to LIFE for your kids is first and foremost THE JOB........... not ego.......not threat of shame....... not getting along for the sake of getting along. No. You have to make THE best decision you can for your kids every single day - no matter what.

Your support group for whatever you need to do is RIGHT here. And people here will help you through the best they can.

Meanwhile........ I wish you the absolute best of luck. Your situation sucks big time.

Hug
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27-03-2014, 09:09 AM
RE: Wife thinks the devil is real
(23-03-2014 04:24 PM)wazzel Wrote:  So. My two teenaged girls are going through teen aged girl crap. One made a really bad decision recently that we just found out about. We are in the process of dealing with that, but any way…..

Wife and I were alone going pick up pizza and discussion the situation and she firmly believes that this is all because I no longer want to take the family to church and it is the devil working on our kids. Of course I told her there is no boogie man and what our kids are going through is what all kids go through growing up. They all make bad decisions from time to time. In the middle of that she was no you do not understand the devil is real. She was also real insistent that we have to take our kids to some sort of church so they can be feed. I think she actually meant indoctrinated. At that point I got out the car and picked up our pizza.

When I got back in the car I was still frustrated. She wanted to know what I get mad when she says that. I just do not have the heart to tell her how pathetic it is that a grown up believes in that.

That sucks. It sounds like you have a seriously uphill (and possibly unwinnable) battle ahead of you.

I am in a similar situation, except that luckily, my wife doesn't believe in hell. I'm not sure what she believes about Satan. Where our situations are similar is that she realizes that if her belief system is presented to our girls as optional, it's less likely to take hold. Now, she doesn't believe they'll go to hell, but she believes they'll be missing out on a super awesome relationship with God, and it still bothers her.

What bothers me is I think she's so close to recognizing the folly of the whole thing (in that she sees how important indoctrination is), yet she isn't ready to let go, and it's a bit of a pain point discussing religion at this point in our lives.


Good luck! Big Grin I'm hoping she becomes a bit more open to reason, and if not, I'm hoping you two can work through your differences.
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30-03-2014, 03:46 PM
RE: Wife thinks the devil is real
When someone has teenage hormones, who needs the devil?
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31-03-2014, 03:03 AM
RE: Wife thinks the devil is real
You sure invited a lot of criticism onto your wife and teenage daughters by other forum members. I wonder why?

Calling your daughters' issues "teenage girl crap" sure shows a devaluation of what they are experiencing and a devaluation of their sex.

Furthermore, your wife's beliefs are "pathetic," and then you make yourself her savior by saying you "don't have the heart to tell her how pathetic it is that a grown-up believes in that" . . .. Now you've taken her out of the adult world and turned her into a third teenage daughter.

Well maybe you should because, after all, "she gets all worked up." What does that mean? Now she has mental health issues, and I don't doubt that.

Try this:

Since you're the only adult in your home and savvy to all the important stuff get up to par on teen girls issues and have a loving heart to heart about your deceit, and then support her concerns about where you stand O' enlightened one.

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story." Orson Welles
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31-03-2014, 06:09 AM
RE: Wife thinks the devil is real
WitchSabrina Wrote:
"Your situation is a bit more severe than getting someone to simply look at facts. Your wife BELIEVES Satan is real. Absolutely NO JOKE that is some serious shit. I know because my mama was like that. Seriously! TO her dying day she feared Satan and his works. Weeping And there was NO talking her out of that or away from that. SOme people are just that way.

Maybe IF your wife does ANYthing close to serious craziness - don't *throw her out* but rather have her committed for her own good."

Dee:
So you know: Catholics, Protestants, Jehovah's Witnesses, Muslims, and more believe in and teach a literal SATAN. That is a lot of people. Yet this woman is unusual or separate somehow in her belief. Are you kidding!

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story." Orson Welles
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31-03-2014, 06:48 AM
RE: Wife thinks the devil is real
(31-03-2014 03:03 AM)Dee Wrote:  You sure invited a lot of criticism onto your wife and teenage daughters by other forum members. I wonder why?

Calling your daughters' issues "teenage girl crap" sure shows a devaluation of what they are experiencing and a devaluation of their sex.

Furthermore, your wife's beliefs are "pathetic," and then you make yourself her savior by saying you "don't have the heart to tell her how pathetic it is that a grown-up believes in that" . . .. Now you've taken her out of the adult world and turned her into a third teenage daughter.

Well maybe you should because, after all, "she gets all worked up." What does that mean? Now she has mental health issues, and I don't doubt that.

Try this:

Since you're the only adult in your home and savvy to all the important stuff get up to par on teen girls issues and have a loving heart to heart about your deceit, and then support her concerns about where you stand O' enlightened one.

You sure are reading alot into what I wrote and completly missed how I feel about things. When you fall off your soap box I hope you do not get hurt.
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01-04-2014, 03:01 AM (This post was last modified: 01-04-2014 03:04 AM by Dee.)
RE: Wife thinks the devil is real
wazzel Wrote:
"You sure are reading alot into what I wrote and completly missed how I feel about things. When you fall off your soap box I hope you do not get hurt."


Dee:

I am a seasoned reader: I didn't miss a thing; you wrote plain enough, and the responses were plainly written. My advice to you is sound except for that bit of sarcasm" Oh enlightened one."

The entire forum is a soap box. Who would deny it? And when I do fall, as we all do, any hurt is power for the course, always. I quit licking my wounds a long time ago.

Also, I did consider your feelings might be at risk so I checked to see if you posted under Personal Issues. You did not, and so I attempted to support the underdog--wife and teenage daughters.

If you had chosen to place the tread in Personal Issues I would have responded otherwise or not have responded at all.

"If you want a happy ending, that depends, of course, on where you stop your story." Orson Welles
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01-04-2014, 06:11 AM
RE: Wife thinks the devil is real
(31-03-2014 06:09 AM)Dee Wrote:  Dee:
So you know: Catholics, Protestants, Jehovah's Witnesses, Muslims, and more believe in and teach a literal SATAN. That is a lot of people. Yet this woman is unusual or separate somehow in her belief. Are you kidding!

Two things:

1) He didn't say she was special in her belief. What makes her different (to him) is that he lives with her and not any of those other people you mentioned. I didn't see him pulling her belief out as something special from other people when I read the post.

2) Are you familiar with the quote button on the forum? It make your posts a lot easier to read and saves you from manually having to handle the quotes and attributing authors yourself.
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01-04-2014, 07:04 AM
RE: Wife thinks the devil is real
(31-03-2014 03:03 AM)Dee Wrote:  You sure invited a lot of criticism onto your wife and teenage daughters by other forum members. I wonder why?

Calling your daughters' issues "teenage girl crap" sure shows a devaluation of what they are experiencing and a devaluation of their sex.

Furthermore, your wife's beliefs are "pathetic," and then you make yourself her savior by saying you "don't have the heart to tell her how pathetic it is that a grown-up believes in that" . . .. Now you've taken her out of the adult world and turned her into a third teenage daughter.

Well maybe you should because, after all, "she gets all worked up." What does that mean? Now she has mental health issues, and I don't doubt that.

Try this:

Since you're the only adult in your home and savvy to all the important stuff get up to par on teen girls issues and have a loving heart to heart about your deceit, and then support her concerns about where you stand O' enlightened one.

Calling it "teenaged girl crap" is not a devaluation. It is me not wanting to post details. I have spent many hours dealing with the issue that started the conversation my wife and I had. My kids issues get lots of support from me. I remember I was that age once and that teen issues were hard to deal with for me. My parents were supportive and have given me a good example to work from.

I used pathetic becasue I have no other word to express how I feel about an adult blaming the boogie man for a kids bad decision. I have told her I do not believe in the devil or anything super natural on more than on occasion. I do not press the discussion because I would not intentionally hurt my wife with my words or actions.

Yes she gets all worked up. The last couple of time we had a discussion on religion she would start to cry, beg, get angry, and on a couple of occasions throw stuff around the house when things were not going her way.

She does have mental issues and is currently under treatment and on meds. I have stood by her even when things were really bad. She has done quite a few things that were extreemly hurtful to my kids and me. When my oldest was in 6th grade she had to call me at work one day because my wife had packed her bags and was on her way out. I was able to get home before she left and was able to calm things down. She was leaving because the kids did not appreciate her. This is just the tip of the iceburg.

I know I am opening myself up to getting slammed by posting this here. Like I said you read into my post what was not there becase of my intentionally breif statements.
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