Wife wants a DIVORCE
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21-11-2013, 08:54 AM
RE: Wife wants a DIVORCE
7 years, huh?

A lot of marriages hit a brick wall at that time. The excitement is gone, and you end up with the real people. Now you see whether there is actual love, not just attraction.

Every marriage has issues, especially in the first 7 years. A lot depends on how these issues were resolved.

If you want to save the marriage, write a different type of letter.

A rational plan for how it can work. What will you concede? What will she concede? How can you be different and yet support each other? Make sure you propose a fair give and take, and one where no one has to compromise their own principles.

While you write this, it will likely clear your head and you will see if it can work. If you decide to go ahead and show it to her, ask her if she would write a counter proposal. Chisel out a life together that gives each of you support, including in areas you do not share.

It can be done and have very good results, if both parties are willing to accept the other as they are. If such acceptance just isn't there, then there is really no point in dragging it out.

This exercise will either let you resume in a better way, or make it clear that no way can be found.

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21-11-2013, 10:15 AM
RE: Wife wants a DIVORCE
(20-11-2013 10:06 PM)sunchild Wrote:  I live in Mississippi and Christianity is all over the place and I fear work next.

I need some words of support.

What exactly do you mean by "...I fear work next?"

Thanks.
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21-11-2013, 01:38 PM
RE: Wife wants a DIVORCE
(21-11-2013 10:15 AM)Julius Wrote:  
(20-11-2013 10:06 PM)sunchild Wrote:  I live in Mississippi and Christianity is all over the place and I fear work next.

I need some words of support.

What exactly do you mean by "...I fear work next?"

Thanks.

I think he means he fears christianity is all over the place and he fears religion will fill the work place next. That's what I got from it anyway.

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21-11-2013, 01:44 PM (This post was last modified: 21-11-2013 01:47 PM by Imdefender.)
RE: Wife wants a DIVORCE
try viewing videos by This Guy
you need to prepare if you don't you have no chance at all a friend of mine lost 70 %
and has to pay all her legal fees and pays a percentage of the money he COULD make given the licences and skills he has and if he was 20 years younger he most likly could do that.
if a man walk's in to family court unprepared he'll leave's with no house, no car, no real visitation
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21-11-2013, 02:06 PM
RE: Wife wants a DIVORCE
If her decision is based solely on the bible most Christians interpret it to mean that Christians should not marry a non-believer, however they also usually interpret the bible to say that divorce should not be an option unless there is adultery. Good luck!

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21-11-2013, 03:41 PM
RE: Wife wants a DIVORCE
(20-11-2013 10:06 PM)sunchild Wrote:  Sorry I skipped the introduction section. I just came straight here and I will give a brief and then go right into the meat of it as I need support

I am a new atheist. I have been on the fence for many years and after the sandy hook shooting, although it was nowhere near me, it made me really thing and I began to search, and I have a few atheist friends and I started to think I was agnostic and then I started listening to the podcasts here and everything started to click along with my readings and finding the horrors in the bible and I just, well long story short I think im pretty sure now that I am an atheist.

I was not ready to tell the wife yet, and I had been conversing online. She could tell I was acting weird as of late and she snooped on my computer and saw where I had been chatting it up with my atheist friends and talking down about her religious family and other. I confronted her about it and it was a nightmare.

This news along with a little bit of rockyness throughout the 7 years of marriage laid way to her telling me as of tonight that she wants to divorce me.

Last night I confronted her about the snooping, revealed im anti religious, she errupted, went all day without seeing each other the next day, then I write a 8 page letter to discribe how I am and how I feel and how I arrived where I am so that she would understand me, and tonight after reading it, it didnt land well, she is still furious and not accepting of me.

I cant understand how she is a believer and she doesnt know her own bible and the verses that it mentions in Corinthians about how its ok to stay married to a non believer.

Its just what I am now. I just want to be truthful and have a best friend I can talk to about this and she is in no way supportive of me.

I am halfway shocked and halfway not surprised, but now I am looking for a place to live and somewhere to go and start over.

I live in Mississippi and Christianity is all over the place and I fear work next.

I need some words of support.

Have any of you been through this yourselves?


Sorry the wife seeks divorce. That sucks if you don't feel/want the same. I dunno - been married over 30 yrs to the same great guy and although we've had close calls - it was never over religion.
IF you two cannot mutually respect the other's needs where religion (or lack thereof) is concerned perhaps you should not Be married(?) Sorry but beliefs can touch so many parts of life - sex, holidays, food, friends, even what money is spent on, etc......... there's some pretty deep-seeded needs where religion and belief come into play.
Maybe before you both throw in the towel or go get lawyers and such - seek a non-denominational, non-religiously-biased counselor and discuss if the future is possible.

And I was just In the south (east Tennessee) because my mom died. Boy was that a step back in time (and ways of handling things)Shocking Yes........the south is VERY much about prayer, etc 24/7.

Move up north and find a new bride with whom you can *do* life and not have everything a hardship.
just sayin (sorry --- I am sure you love your wife)


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21-11-2013, 04:51 PM
RE: Wife wants a DIVORCE
You deserve better, if you are happy with your atheism and she is unaccepting of that, then she doesn't have your best interest in mind. (It may go through the salvation or hell but forcing someone to change beliefs is just awful) Sorry you're having to go through with this man, if you need someone to talk to you can PM me.

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Bury me with my guns on, so when I'm cast out of the sky, I can shoot the devil right between the eyes.
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22-11-2013, 01:02 AM
RE: Wife wants a DIVORCE
Also most states in the USA (I'm assuming thats where you are) you are allowed to record conversations that you are a part of so if you are getting a DIVORCE the main rule when talking to her is ABR that stands for always be recording
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22-11-2013, 01:19 AM
RE: Wife wants a DIVORCE
(21-11-2013 04:51 PM)Question Wrote:  You deserve better, if you are happy with your atheism and she is unaccepting of that, then she doesn't have your best interest in mind. (It may go through the salvation or hell but forcing someone to change beliefs is just awful) Sorry you're having to go through with this man, if you need someone to talk to you can PM me.

You and I see things with different eyes than a fundie though, Q. Where you and I may see it as discriminatory ignorant doodyheaded moves, she may very well see it as her duty as a servant of a hateful and vengeful master with omnipotence. God comes first, family second. I always thought that the best cure for this is knowledge and experience. It's up to her if she wants to stick her fingers in her ears or not.

Attempt to educate her. Undecided

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22-11-2013, 08:35 AM
RE: Wife wants a DIVORCE
(21-11-2013 10:15 AM)Julius Wrote:  
(20-11-2013 10:06 PM)sunchild Wrote:  I live in Mississippi and Christianity is all over the place and I fear work next.

I need some words of support.

What exactly do you mean by "...I fear work next?"

Thanks.

I just fear that peoples attitude towards me at work will change if they ever find out that I am a non believer. Possibly harboring it as a silent reason to be the push in an case where I do something wrong at work and they are weighing the pros and cons on wether to fire me or not. Thats what I mean.
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