Wife wants me to have an open relationship
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
06-01-2014, 01:30 PM
Wife wants me to have an open relationship
I dont know who to talk to about this, so I'll do it here if you dont mind.

My christianish wife asked me point blank if I wanted to have sex with other women. I told her just like I have told her before, that I feel like I missed out. I was a good christian boy and only had sex with one person once before my wife, while my wife even though a christian by profession had sex with more than a handful of guys. I told her that I would've like to experience that. So she told me I could sleep with other women, as long as I was honest with her. I then told her that it would need to be mutual to be fair, she insisted she didnt want to do it herself but she just didnt want to tie me down.

She'd pulled this one before about a year and a half ago and then retracted. But this time I think she's serious. She's been talking to an ex of hers that lives in California who according to her really gets her. She claims he's just a friend. He's married BTW.

She told me that we're most likely going to go our own separate ways once the kids are older and that we're not compatible. She said that she was a Sub sexually and I was Sub as well.

I agree we're not compatible, if it wasnt for the religion conviction I had, I would have never married her, but here we are and we have kids whom we love. I cannot say I'm sad that I'm being given a free pass but I dont know what to make of it.

Then today she asked me about her going on vacation by herself to LA to check out the makeup industry there. I told her it was fine.

I think I know what the trip is really about.

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.” ― Richard Pryor
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-01-2014, 01:35 PM
RE: Wife wants me to have an open relationship
I really don't have any advice for this. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do. Hug

Swing with me a while, we can listen to the birds call, we can keep each other warm.
Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Losty's post
06-01-2014, 01:38 PM
RE: Wife wants me to have an open relationship
I will just say, if it were me, I wouldn't let any secrecy pervade my own home. If she wanted to go to LA to check the makeup industry, sure whatever that's great. But if I thought she wasn't being truthful, my personal approach would be either:

"Let's be honest here, are you going to LA to meet another guy? If so, I'm fine with that, we already spoke about this. Please let's just be open with each other."

or

"Let's be honest here, are you going to LA to meet another guy? If so, then we really need to talk, because I'm not comfortable at all with that because....."

Whichever one resonated more with my actual feelings. I feel like I would hate living with somebody who I cared about...if I thought they were lying to me.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 8 users Like Adrianime's post
06-01-2014, 01:39 PM
RE: Wife wants me to have an open relationship
Thanks L&I.

We'll see what happens.

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.” ― Richard Pryor
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes djkamilo's post
06-01-2014, 01:41 PM
RE: Wife wants me to have an open relationship
(06-01-2014 01:38 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  I will just say, if it were me, I wouldn't let any secrecy pervade my own home. If she wanted to go to LA to check the makeup industry, sure whatever that's great. But if I thought she wasn't being truthful, my personal approach would be either:

"Let's be honest here, are you going to LA to meet another guy? If so, I'm fine with that, we already spoke about this. Please let's just be open with each other."

or

"Let's be honest here, are you going to LA to meet another guy? If so, then we really need to talk, because I'm not comfortable at all with that because....."

Whichever one resonated more with my actual feelings. I feel like I would hate living with somebody who I cared about...if I thought they were lying to me.

She caught me half-asleep, so all I said was "OK"

I'll talk to her when I get home.

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.” ― Richard Pryor
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-01-2014, 01:43 PM
RE: Wife wants me to have an open relationship
Mehhh. When in a releationship I never bothered if she slept with other men.

It`s just basic biology.

[Image: RPYH95t.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like The Germans are coming's post
06-01-2014, 01:51 PM
RE: Wife wants me to have an open relationship
Yup. I agree with much of the above.

Ya can't fight the inner ape.

But a contract is a contract and needs mutual agreement for a contract variation.

This is her negotiating position "So she told me I could sleep with other women, as long as I was honest with her."

It seems reasonable that you ask for the same.

No need to accuse her of lying but it's easy to say something like... "If anything does happen in LA, you will be as honest as you'd expect me to be, right?"

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like DLJ's post
06-01-2014, 01:52 PM
RE: Wife wants me to have an open relationship
(06-01-2014 01:43 PM)The Germans are coming Wrote:  Mehhh. When in a releationship I never bothered if she slept with other men.

It`s just basic biology.

I can't say that it bothers me to be honest.

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.” ― Richard Pryor
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-01-2014, 01:52 PM
RE: Wife wants me to have an open relationship
(06-01-2014 01:51 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Yup. I agree with much of the above.

Ya can't fight the inner ape.

But a contract is a contract and needs mutual agreement for a contract variation.

This is her negotiating position "So she told me I could sleep with other women, as long as I was honest with her."

It seems reasonable that you ask for the same.

No need to accuse her of lying but it's easy to say something like... "If anything does happen in LA, you will be as honest as you'd expect me to be, right?"

Thanks DLJ, insightful as always

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.” ― Richard Pryor
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-01-2014, 02:01 PM
RE: Wife wants me to have an open relationship
(06-01-2014 01:52 PM)djkamilo Wrote:  
(06-01-2014 01:51 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Yup. I agree with much of the above.

Ya can't fight the inner ape.

But a contract is a contract and needs mutual agreement for a contract variation.

This is her negotiating position "So she told me I could sleep with other women, as long as I was honest with her."

It seems reasonable that you ask for the same.

No need to accuse her of lying but it's easy to say something like... "If anything does happen in LA, you will be as honest as you'd expect me to be, right?"

Thanks DLJ, insightful as always

Oh! And just to add...

If you do try an alternative supplier and it comes to confession time...

Lie your fucking arse off!

Or you pay for it for the rest of your days.

Angel

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like DLJ's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: