Without a prayer
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27-03-2013, 07:23 PM
Without a prayer
What do you say to someone when they say thy will pray for you? Or when someone starts praying and expects you to join in?

I miscarried a baby. Well meaning people were giving me platitudes about God's plan and needing an angel and that my baby is with God now.

Now - I don't believe an acorn is a tree, an egg is a chicken...I don't believe that life begins at conception...I am disappointed that I miscarried not because I'm mourning the loss of life but rather mourning the loss of the opportunity to have a child at that moment.

It infuriates me that it not "god's plan" but rather a natural occurrence in nature when a genetic anomaly exists and my body aborts. It's rather cruel and survival of the fittest at its best.
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27-03-2013, 07:39 PM
RE: Without a prayer
(27-03-2013 07:23 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  What do you say to someone when they say thy will pray for you? Or when someone starts praying and expects you to join in?

I ignore or give a dismissive half-smile but mostly I grunt alot under my breath

“I suppose our capacity for self-delusion is boundless."
― John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley: In Search of America
“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's." - Mark Twain in Eruption
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27-03-2013, 07:46 PM
RE: Without a prayer
(27-03-2013 07:23 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  What do you say to someone when they say thy will pray for you? Or when someone starts praying and expects you to join in?

I miscarried a baby. Well meaning people were giving me platitudes about God's plan and needing an angel and that my baby is with God now.

Now - I don't believe an acorn is a tree, an egg is a chicken...I don't believe that life begins at conception...I am disappointed that I miscarried not because I'm mourning the loss of life but rather mourning the loss of the opportunity to have a child at that moment.

It infuriates me that it not "god's plan" but rather a natural occurrence in nature when a genetic anomaly exists and my body aborts. It's rather cruel and survival of the fittest at its best.

In everyday situations, I think it's up to you to either accept it, or say something to bring to light that you would not appreciate a prayer, your call.

In the event of a tragedy or an unfortunate event, I wouldn't take any offense. Believers as we know rely on their faith, however misguided, to get them through everyday. Faith is how they deal with life and so it's the only way they know how to try to be kind.

I would simply acknowledge the sentiment, politely refuse a joined prayer if it makes you uncomfortable, but someone trying to be kind in the way they know how, I don't think, is something to put down. Pick your battles.

By the way, sorry about the miscarriage. We went through one not to long ago. Shitty deal.

"It's a most distressing affliction to have a sentimental heart and a skeptical mind.”
― نجيب محفوظ, Sugar Street
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27-03-2013, 07:58 PM
RE: Without a prayer
(27-03-2013 07:23 PM)Cathym112 Wrote:  What do you say to someone when they say thy will pray for you? Or when someone starts praying and expects you to join in?

I miscarried a baby. Well meaning people were giving me platitudes about God's plan and needing an angel and that my baby is with God now.

Now - I don't believe an acorn is a tree, an egg is a chicken...I don't believe that life begins at conception...I am disappointed that I miscarried not because I'm mourning the loss of life but rather mourning the loss of the opportunity to have a child at that moment.

It infuriates me that it not "god's plan" but rather a natural occurrence in nature when a genetic anomaly exists and my body aborts. It's rather cruel and survival of the fittest at its best.

I'm sorry for your loss. It hurts. And there isn't much to say to make the hurt go away.

I try hard to remember they simply are platitudes and are meaningless. Then I try to round up a knowing smile, and change the subject. If they are rude enough to persist with their "comforting." I simply say "thanks."

You don't want to know what I said when it persisted beyond that. It wasn't pretty and my poor husband was forced to intercede and offer the blanket excuse of "hormones".


[Image: mrhanky.jpg]

Wind's in the east, a mist coming in
Like something is brewing and about to begin
Can't put my finger on what lies in store
but I feel what's to happen has happened before...


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27-03-2013, 08:05 PM (This post was last modified: 06-04-2013 12:36 AM by Doctor X.)
Smile RE: Without a prayer
******

Those who administer and moderate in order to exercise personal agenda merely feed into the negative stereotype of Atheism
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05-04-2013, 02:00 PM
RE: Without a prayer
"You pray for me, I'll think for you"

“My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time. I will draw on every remaining ounce of strength to protect my teammates and to accomplish our mission. I am never out of the fight.” - Marcus Luttrell
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05-04-2013, 02:09 PM
RE: Without a prayer
Never had a problem with people saying a prayer for me. Ask me to join in and I'll tell you no thanks, I'm an atheist.as for the whole, "the baby is with god" and all that other fantasy shit? Well, just let them believe if that's whAt floats their boat. Take comfort in the fact that at least you aren't delusional.




(mods - might wanna move this to the appropriate forum)

Just visiting.

-SR
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09-04-2013, 08:22 AM
RE: Without a prayer
When people say they'll pray for me, I unusually say "Don't, I don't want to bother your imaginary friend/Don't, I don't want your imaginary friend to know about me".
But it depends on what they what to pray about. Once when someone said they wanted to pray that I would do good in school, I said "or you could just help me with my homework, because that would REALLY help me".

Y'know, I try telling people; you could pray, or you could do something that will actually improve the situation or help me/the one you're praying for.

When people want me to join a prayer, I simply say no.
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09-04-2013, 01:07 PM
RE: Without a prayer
"You gonna sacrifice a goat as well? Just to make sure God really gets the hint?"

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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