Women and their feelings towards weight.
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30-11-2011, 12:52 PM
RE: Women and their feelings towards weight.
I recently saw a friends status update that said "It's time to take a stand against obesity." and then she plugged her body by vi shakes and ranted how it shouldn't be accepted as beautiful because it's unhealthy. My first reaction was anger for this statement. I had to ask myself why. It took me some reflection, but in the end I realized to me that statement is discrimination. This friend and I share acquaintances and some are over weight or obese. I couldn't help but wonder what do they think and feel reading this? And what about the friends who are hairless because of cancer treatments? They are unhealthy, are they ugly then too? What about people who are happy this way and just want to be accepted?

I strongly believe our society has done us a disgrace by setting the bar of beauty too high.

I agree that nature and evolution helps us pick our healthiest mates, but the reality is so far from the perception. If we wanted the nature route, I don't see bags of addictive fat snack foods and fast foods growing on trees. Here today we have a society telling us to be one way but selling us the opposite for resources. This problem does not come down to the individual.

This is an article that has changed my life, and in no small way. It's about a 45 minute read and I bawl everytime. I wish everyone could read it to gain a healthy perception on true beauty.

http://blowsmyhairback.blogspot.com/p/di...nment.html

When one see's someone who is fat or obese, are those uncomfortable feelings because you are concerned for their health or because you have feelings of disgust? If it's the later than you have been conditioned and shaped by society, because really ALL they are... are just people. It's like indoctrination in religion. Question why you think or feel the way you do and ask if that is right.
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30-11-2011, 07:05 PM
RE: Women and their feelings towards weight.
(30-11-2011 12:52 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  I recently saw a friends status update that said "It's time to take a stand against obesity." and then she plugged her body by vi shakes and ranted how it shouldn't be accepted as beautiful because it's unhealthy. My first reaction was anger for this statement. I had to ask myself why. It took me some reflection, but in the end I realized to me that statement is discrimination.

I obviously can't comment on the feelings and motivations of your friend, but I agree with her that obesity is unhealthy. I don't comment on the beauty part for the simple reason that beauty is a personal preference. But that obesity is unhealthy I think is undeniable.
I'd like to make an analogy to illustrate my feelings on this: I stand against illiteracy, but I don't hate or despise illiterate people. I stand against poverty, but I don't laugh at poor people. Do you see where I am going with this?

English is not my first language. If you think I am being mean, ask me. It could be just a wording problem.
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30-11-2011, 07:07 PM (This post was last modified: 30-11-2011 07:10 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Women and their feelings towards weight.
(28-11-2011 03:23 PM)zaika Wrote:  Sweet Jesus on a popsicle stick. A couple of you are really making me feel hateful with your “it’s easy to eat less and work out more” line of bullshit. ... Then...when it comes to off topic discussions, like weight ...and not just weight, but the weight of women...you become patriarchal imbeciles.

Apparently some of us fail to appreciate our genetic differences with respect to basal metabolic rate. In the course of my 26 year marriage, I have weighed anywhere from 180-280 lbs and my wife says she has weighed anywhere from 105-185 lbs. Pretty sure neither of us even noticed. (I did notice that I gained an inch or so in penis length when I went from 280 to 200, but she says she didn't. Sad Oh, and I did get a diabetes diagnosis at 280.)

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
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Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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07-12-2011, 09:12 AM
RE: Women and their feelings towards weight.
I disagree respectfully. If you are unhappy about the way you look then exercise. No one is obligated to offer comfort to another person who is completely capable of changing what it is that upsets them. And another thing, when it comes to beauty, fat people are not attractive. It's not underwear models and fashion shows that creates this either. Fat people arent in Victoria's Secret because no one wants to see a fat person in cheekies. I would never ridicule someone for being fat but let's be honest, everyone who is fat can get skinny. Most are just too lazy and others are limited physically.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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07-12-2011, 10:22 AM
RE: Women and their feelings towards weight.
(07-12-2011 09:12 AM)germanyt Wrote:  I disagree respectfully. If you are unhappy about the way you look then exercise. No one is obligated to offer comfort to another person who is completely capable of changing what it is that upsets them. And another thing, when it comes to beauty, fat people are not attractive. It's not underwear models and fashion shows that creates this either. Fat people arent in Victoria's Secret because no one wants to see a fat person in cheekies. I would never ridicule someone for being fat but let's be honest, everyone who is fat can get skinny. Most are just too lazy and others are limited physically.

You raise a good point, half of which I agree with. But as for the other half, I politely disagree. I know a lot of diabetics that have weight problems, and it's not as easy to lose the weight by saying "Oh they should just excercise." I know a girl who's a bit on the chubby side, but she has a gorgeous face. So just because you pack on a few pounds doesn't mean your ugly.
BUT THEN AGAIN, I notice that a lot of you are assuming down right FAT and completely OBESE people that obviously cross the line, and that obviously need help and motivation in losing the weight of which the majority makes them unattractive.
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07-12-2011, 11:56 AM
RE: Women and their feelings towards weight.
(30-11-2011 07:07 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(28-11-2011 03:23 PM)zaika Wrote:  Sweet Jesus on a popsicle stick. A couple of you are really making me feel hateful with your “it’s easy to eat less and work out more” line of bullshit. ... Then...when it comes to off topic discussions, like weight ...and not just weight, but the weight of women...you become patriarchal imbeciles.

Apparently some of us fail to appreciate our genetic differences with respect to basal metabolic rate. In the course of my 26 year marriage, I have weighed anywhere from 180-280 lbs and my wife says she has weighed anywhere from 105-185 lbs. Pretty sure neither of us even noticed. (I did notice that I gained an inch or so in penis length when I went from 280 to 200, but she says she didn't. Sad Oh, and I did get a diabetes diagnosis at 280.)

Sadly, mine grew smaller when I went from 260 to 210.
Why me, Lord???

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07-12-2011, 11:59 AM
RE: Women and their feelings towards weight.
(07-12-2011 10:22 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(07-12-2011 09:12 AM)germanyt Wrote:  I disagree respectfully. If you are unhappy about the way you look then exercise. No one is obligated to offer comfort to another person who is completely capable of changing what it is that upsets them. And another thing, when it comes to beauty, fat people are not attractive. It's not underwear models and fashion shows that creates this either. Fat people arent in Victoria's Secret because no one wants to see a fat person in cheekies. I would never ridicule someone for being fat but let's be honest, everyone who is fat can get skinny. Most are just too lazy and others are limited physically.

You raise a good point, half of which I agree with. But as for the other half, I politely disagree. I know a lot of diabetics that have weight problems, and it's not as easy to lose the weight by saying "Oh they should just excercise." I know a girl who's a bit on the chubby side, but she has a gorgeous face. So just because you pack on a few pounds doesn't mean your ugly.
BUT THEN AGAIN, I notice that a lot of you are assuming down right FAT and completely OBESE people that obviously cross the line, and that obviously need help and motivation in losing the weight of which the majority makes them unattractive.


While it may be harder for diabetics to lose weight there is still the universal truth that if you burn more calories than you consume you will lose weight. The majority of which being fat. My wife is type 1 and is 5'2" 120 lbs. We eat a bodybuilder diet for the most part and that works for her. She doesn't even work out like I do.


Also, this may soudn kinda mean. But self consciousness might be just the think to kick fat people into gear. I don't hate fat people and like I said, would never ridicule someone for being fat but feeling bad about being obese is the right way to feel. You shouldn't be satisfied with being overweight.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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07-12-2011, 01:31 PM
RE: Women and their feelings towards weight.
(30-11-2011 12:52 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  When one see's someone who is fat or obese, are those uncomfortable feelings because you are concerned for their health or because you have feelings of disgust? If it's the later than you have been conditioned and shaped by society, because really ALL they are... are just people. It's like indoctrination in religion. Question why you think or feel the way you do and ask if that is right.

Smile Thanks LadyJane for the fantastic, all encompassing article!

Control. Place the word control behind each of the following...
Psychological; Self; Economic; Subconscious; Societal; Media; Sexual; Emotional; Image.
I'm sure there are others ... ______ control.

So much really is about control, isn't it? I have several friends who are quite obese and we've discussed the issue on many levels I won't go into. Discussions have usually begun with, and had little or nothing to do with their weight, but always seemed to end up there. We would be talking about things going on around them and how they deal with those things. I would be asked how I deal with those things -where I placed myself in relation to responsibilities to work, myself, family, play, etc.,. When much has been said and done, the discussions would end up with their weight calling the shots and many have actually said to me, "This is the one thing in my life I control."

We all know people who have been raised a certain way... and had that way continually reinforced in many ways. When confronted with realities, the fight is taken up to hang on for dear life, by whatever means possible. Internal and external safeguards are set in place to dispel and countermand any options and even guide perspective in the extreme opposite direction... in order to make it more difficult to absorb reality. Dealing with people like this, who are often brilliant by the way, takes time, patience, empathy and a lot of respect.

Of course, I do realize because of the thread topic, one might apply each of the above ____ control phrases to weight issues. However, they were just a few phrases I came up with while pondering religion and/or God.

We all know how difficult it is for people to break away from a certain way of life to accept ... something different. I love my obese friends and we help each other to understand our respective situations, contribute mutually to, and gain from each other's perspective.
Wink We are all just people.... thanks for the great reminder LadyJane.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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07-12-2011, 01:55 PM
RE: Women and their feelings towards weight.
(07-12-2011 11:59 AM)germanyt Wrote:  
(07-12-2011 10:22 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(07-12-2011 09:12 AM)germanyt Wrote:  I disagree respectfully. If you are unhappy about the way you look then exercise. No one is obligated to offer comfort to another person who is completely capable of changing what it is that upsets them. And another thing, when it comes to beauty, fat people are not attractive. It's not underwear models and fashion shows that creates this either. Fat people arent in Victoria's Secret because no one wants to see a fat person in cheekies. I would never ridicule someone for being fat but let's be honest, everyone who is fat can get skinny. Most are just too lazy and others are limited physically.

You raise a good point, half of which I agree with. But as for the other half, I politely disagree. I know a lot of diabetics that have weight problems, and it's not as easy to lose the weight by saying "Oh they should just excercise." I know a girl who's a bit on the chubby side, but she has a gorgeous face. So just because you pack on a few pounds doesn't mean your ugly.
BUT THEN AGAIN, I notice that a lot of you are assuming down right FAT and completely OBESE people that obviously cross the line, and that obviously need help and motivation in losing the weight of which the majority makes them unattractive.


While it may be harder for diabetics to lose weight there is still the universal truth that if you burn more calories than you consume you will lose weight. The majority of which being fat. My wife is type 1 and is 5'2" 120 lbs. We eat a bodybuilder diet for the most part and that works for her. She doesn't even work out like I do.


Also, this may soudn kinda mean. But self consciousness might be just the think to kick fat people into gear. I don't hate fat people and like I said, would never ridicule someone for being fat but feeling bad about being obese is the right way to feel. You shouldn't be satisfied with being overweight.

Excellent point. Many obese people I know seem to do the following reasoning:
- I know somebody who can eat X amount and stay thin
- I eat X amount and am obese
- Therefore screw everything and everybody/ this is all crap/ I am doomed to be fat therefore why bother

I really don't get it. Why not adopt this other reasoning:
- I eat X and am obese.
- Therefore I will eat less than X and/or exercise.

English is not my first language. If you think I am being mean, ask me. It could be just a wording problem.
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07-12-2011, 02:15 PM (This post was last modified: 07-12-2011 02:20 PM by germanyt.)
RE: Women and their feelings towards weight.
(07-12-2011 01:55 PM)sy2502 Wrote:  
(07-12-2011 11:59 AM)germanyt Wrote:  
(07-12-2011 10:22 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(07-12-2011 09:12 AM)germanyt Wrote:  I disagree respectfully. If you are unhappy about the way you look then exercise. No one is obligated to offer comfort to another person who is completely capable of changing what it is that upsets them. And another thing, when it comes to beauty, fat people are not attractive. It's not underwear models and fashion shows that creates this either. Fat people arent in Victoria's Secret because no one wants to see a fat person in cheekies. I would never ridicule someone for being fat but let's be honest, everyone who is fat can get skinny. Most are just too lazy and others are limited physically.

You raise a good point, half of which I agree with. But as for the other half, I politely disagree. I know a lot of diabetics that have weight problems, and it's not as easy to lose the weight by saying "Oh they should just excercise." I know a girl who's a bit on the chubby side, but she has a gorgeous face. So just because you pack on a few pounds doesn't mean your ugly.
BUT THEN AGAIN, I notice that a lot of you are assuming down right FAT and completely OBESE people that obviously cross the line, and that obviously need help and motivation in losing the weight of which the majority makes them unattractive.


While it may be harder for diabetics to lose weight there is still the universal truth that if you burn more calories than you consume you will lose weight. The majority of which being fat. My wife is type 1 and is 5'2" 120 lbs. We eat a bodybuilder diet for the most part and that works for her. She doesn't even work out like I do.


Also, this may soudn kinda mean. But self consciousness might be just the think to kick fat people into gear. I don't hate fat people and like I said, would never ridicule someone for being fat but feeling bad about being obese is the right way to feel. You shouldn't be satisfied with being overweight.

Excellent point. Many obese people I know seem to do the following reasoning:
- I know somebody who can eat X amount and stay thin
- I eat X amount and am obese
- Therefore screw everything and everybody/ this is all crap/ I am doomed to be fat therefore why bother

I really don't get it. Why not adopt this other reasoning:
- I eat X and am obese.
- Therefore I will eat less than X and/or exercise.

This. By treating obesity like it's no big deal we are enabling people to be fat.
(30-11-2011 12:52 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  When one see's someone who is fat or obese, are those uncomfortable feelings because you are concerned for their health or because you have feelings of disgust? If it's the later than you have been conditioned and shaped by society, because really ALL they are... are just people. It's like indoctrination in religion. Question why you think or feel the way you do and ask if that is right.

Of course they are people. But dont' pretend that people's perception of sexy and beauty are shaped by society. Society's obsession with thin, good looking peole is a direct reflection of the opinion of the individual.

Grow up on a deserted island, have 2 women dropped on said island when you are 25. One looks like Rosie Odonnell and the other like Scarlett Johansson. I bet my own life the dude chases after Scarlett. It's nature. Scarlett would appear to be the better mate because she is healthier and better looking. She got dem dere good genes.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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