Wrinkles & Grey Hair Thread
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10-04-2016, 08:02 PM
RE: Wrinkles & Grey Hair Thread
[Image: susan5_small.jpg]

[Image: 1c.jpg]

[Image: funny-old-age-birth-control-nudity-cartoon.jpg]

[Image: dnw9krH.jpg?4]
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10-04-2016, 08:13 PM
RE: Wrinkles & Grey Hair Thread
Fine.
Two old guys are sitting out in front of the nursing home, and one says
Damn I was up all night with constipation.
His buddy says, not a problem for me, I am regular as a clock 8 AM every morning.
Then he adds,
Too bad I don't get up till 9.
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10-04-2016, 08:13 PM
RE: Wrinkles & Grey Hair Thread
So funny. Here I am in hospital wearing my Aussie bush cowboy hat, having been one in my youth. When suddenly I am approached by another old cowboy in a hat. "You don't see too many cowboys down here, do ya mate? " I agreed. This bloke was right out of the bush. About my age. Had a limp. Maybe a horse threw him.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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10-04-2016, 08:21 PM
RE: Wrinkles & Grey Hair Thread
I went to a baseball game yesterday, and this little gray haired lady was working the bottom of this long escalator. She reminded me of my mom so much. As we approached her I said,
"I know WHO you are" matter-of-factly.
She looks at me expectantly,
" YOU'RE the stroller sheriff"
She punched me in the arm and patted me on the back as I passed. It made my day and surely tickled her as well. Later I am talking to other staff members about it, and they tell me " Oh, that was Gladys. We call her the Nazi. Everything has to fit into little boxes just so." Big Grin
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10-04-2016, 10:04 PM (This post was last modified: 10-04-2016 10:10 PM by Chas.)
RE: Wrinkles & Grey Hair Thread




So if you're out walking down the street some time,
and spot some hollow, ancient eyes -
well please don't just pass 'em by and stare
as if you didn't care
say "hello, in there"
hello

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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10-04-2016, 10:28 PM
RE: Wrinkles & Grey Hair Thread
My hair will be gone long before it's grey.

I took an aerial selfie to see how the crops are growing... A lot of space between those stalks. I shaved it all off the same night.
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10-04-2016, 10:31 PM
RE: Wrinkles & Grey Hair Thread
As I walked out one evening,
Walking down Bristol Street,
The crowds upon the pavement
Were fields of harvest wheat.

And down by the brimming river
I heard a lover sing
Under an arch of the railway:
'Love has no ending.

'I'll love you, dear, I'll love you
Till China and Africa meet,
And the river jumps over the mountain
And the salmon sing in the street,

'I'll love you till the ocean
Is folded and hung up to dry
And the seven stars go squawking
Like geese about the sky.

'The years shall run like rabbits,
For in my arms I hold
The Flower of the Ages,
And the first love of the world.'

But all the clocks in the city
Began to whirr and chime:
'O let not Time deceive you,
You cannot conquer Time.

'In the burrows of the Nightmare
Where Justice naked is,
Time watches from the shadow
And coughs when you would kiss.

'In headaches and in worry
Vaguely life leaks away,
And Time will have his fancy
To-morrow or to-day.

'Into many a green valley
Drifts the appalling snow;
Time breaks the threaded dances
And the diver's brilliant bow.

'O plunge your hands in water,
Plunge them in up to the wrist;
Stare, stare in the basin
And wonder what you've missed.

'The glacier knocks in the cupboard,
The desert sighs in the bed,
And the crack in the tea-cup opens
A lane to the land of the dead.

'Where the beggars raffle the banknotes
And the Giant is enchanting to Jack,
And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer,
And Jill goes down on her back.

'O look, look in the mirror,
O look in your distress:
Life remains a blessing
Although you cannot bless.

'O stand, stand at the window
As the tears scald and start;
You shall love your crooked neighbour
With your crooked heart.'

It was late, late in the evening,
The lovers they were gone;
The clocks had ceased their chiming,
And the deep river ran on.

W. H. Auden
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10-04-2016, 10:35 PM
RE: Wrinkles & Grey Hair Thread
(10-04-2016 10:55 AM)Heatheness Wrote:  I'm turning 59 here in a few days and I was thinking about getting my nipples pierced... but I changed my mind, the idea of them getting caught on my belt buckle was just too much! Laugh out load

This reminded me of one of my favorite jokes:

What do you call the hair between an old lady's boobs?

Her vagina.

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----
Atheism promotes critical thinking; theism promotes hypocritical thinking. -- Me
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11-04-2016, 12:33 AM
RE: Wrinkles & Grey Hair Thread
I'm kicking 50. I don't mind it so much. To be sure, there's difficulties -- I have an incurable bone disease that inflicts constant pain, a couple of old injuries that flare up with the weather, and a back that's tired of labor but must be put to the task nightly -- all that notwithstanding, what I really appreciate about growing old is not only do I learn how to deal with those particular issues, but that in dealing with them each day I learn more about how to deal with the vicissitudes of life in general.

Especially with my osteonecrosis and its chronic pain, I've learnt that "mind over matter" is not simply a catchphrase, but an honest truth. I've learnt how to deal with the uncontrollable, in that sense, and I am still mindful enough to traduce the lessons to other, more abstract, parts of my life.

I'm grateful I've never had to battle cancer, and don't much care if grey takes over my scalp (it hasn't yet, good luck with that, you bastard!), but most of all I'm grateful to be able to find lessons where I least expect them.
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11-04-2016, 01:31 AM
Wrinkles & Grey Hair Thread
I'm disappointed that nobody took a close up picture of some bad wrinkles.
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