"X-ercise in Imagination"
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14-02-2015, 02:40 PM
RE: "X-ercise in Imagination"
Congrats on your literary endeavor.
I am currently on page 419 of a book I'm writing.
My book is a work of fiction and hopefully no one in the future will interpret it as factual or true and try to create a religion around it.

I didn't read any of your writings, because it simply doesn't interest me to read a linguistic play on words kind of story. It's just not my thing.

As far as exercising my imagination, I do that nearly every other night when I'm writing.

Copy and paste a selection of it, if you want people to get a feel for your writing style.

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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14-02-2015, 03:14 PM
RE: "X-ercise in Imagination"
(14-02-2015 02:40 PM)Rahn127 Wrote:  Congrats on your literary endeavor.
I am currently on page 419 of a book I'm writing.
My book is a work of fiction and hopefully no one in the future will interpret it as factual or true and try to create a religion around it.

I didn't read any of your writings, because it simply doesn't interest me to read a linguistic play on words kind of story. It's just not my thing.

As far as exercising my imagination, I do that nearly every other night when I'm writing.

Copy and paste a selection of it, if you want people to get a feel for your writing style.

Good luck with your book! I wrote one myself about nine years ago (340 pages on computer format, which might turn into over 600 of a paperback) but I was not able to have it published anywhere in the States. Apparently there are too many people who write and not so many who read. If you don't have an agent to promote your work, you have little chance to do it yourself.

It doesn't matter what I believe; all that matters is what I can prove!
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14-02-2015, 03:15 PM
RE: "X-ercise in Imagination"
For the record, all are welcomed here.

One gets as good as one gives. And as far as I can tell, you played a fairly straight bat so far.

I read your piece (cos it's 5am and I thought it might help me gt to sleep Big Grin )

If I may offer a critique, I'd say Lewis Carroll has the edge. Your character(s) may be more engaging if they were given a Tweedledum / Tweedledee - esqueness.

Punctuation would help, too, to clarify which voice is speaking.

Lines like "What planet do you live on?", "A round one", would work better if you used instead "What kind of planet do you live on?" or even "What on earth planet do you live on?"

A bit more polish required and more hooks to engage your reader would make it less of a simple 'steam of consciousness' piece. The corridor/box story was engaging.

As a technique, I would suggest that you close a few literary brackets as you go along e.g. Topic A, Topic B, Topic C, Topic D, resolve Topic C, Topic E, resolve Topic E, resolve Topic D, resolve Topic B, resolve Topic A... obviously ending up with an explanation of the sand-message.

My 2c worth.

And to close my bracket... it's a relief to have a theist on here who isn't trying to convert the heathens. We have some already but they've gone a bit quiet lately.

Wink

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14-02-2015, 03:31 PM
RE: "X-ercise in Imagination"
(14-02-2015 03:14 PM)Job_1207 Wrote:  I wrote one myself about nine years ago (340 pages on computer format, which might turn into over 600 of a paperback) but I was not able to have it published anywhere in the States. Apparently there are too many people who write and not so many who read. If you don't have an agent to promote your work, you have little chance to do it yourself.

Congrats on your effort. Thumbsup

Linky to some of my efforts. => http://peebo-thulhu.deviantart.com/art/F...-104935984

So.. you're writing is one thing and I commend and encourage you no end. Having known that creative feeling? Yeah, you keep going at that and more power to you.

Unfortunately... this is, perhaps, not the best forum for such an endeavor... Just saying... Unsure

So.. maybe a shorter idea of what you're trying to express/thinking of would not go astray? Smile

Wishing you and yours and all your efforts all the very best!

Much cheers to all .
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14-02-2015, 04:04 PM
RE: "X-ercise in Imagination"
(14-02-2015 03:15 PM)DLJ Wrote:  For the record, all are welcomed here.

One gets as good as one gives. And as far as I can tell, you played a fairly straight bat so far.

I read your piece (cos it's 5am and I thought it might help me gt to sleep Big Grin )

If I may offer a critique, I'd say Lewis Carroll has the edge. Your character(s) may be more engaging if they were given a Tweedledum / Tweedledee - esqueness.

Punctuation would help, too, to clarify which voice is speaking.

Lines like "What planet do you live on?", "A round one", would work better if you used instead "What kind of planet do you live on?" or even "What on earth planet do you live on?"

A bit more polish required and more hooks to engage your reader would make it less of a simple 'steam of consciousness' piece. The corridor/box story was engaging.

As a technique, I would suggest that you close a few literary brackets as you go along e.g. Topic A, Topic B, Topic C, Topic D, resolve Topic C, Topic E, resolve Topic E, resolve Topic D, resolve Topic B, resolve Topic A... obviously ending up with an explanation of the sand-message.

My 2c worth.

And to close my bracket... it's a relief to have a theist on here who isn't trying to convert the heathens. We have some already but they've gone a bit quiet lately.

Wink

Thanks for your suggestions. The reason I didn't add names to the two characters is that I wanted it to be more high paced for the reader. I did think of the two weird characters Tweedledum and Tweedledee and the way they finished each other's sentences, but I didn't want to copy that style. In the book Through the Looking-Glass (and not Alice's Adventures in Wonderland!) they actually interacted with Alice, not just with one another. It would have been difficult do make my characters the way you suggested, but thanks anyway.

Also, I thought of adding quotations for the dialogs, as it is standard, but since there are only dialogs I decided against it.

And last, but not least, I realized that at some point the reader might lose track of who was who, and that was the basis of the dialog in some parts. If the characters were clearly defined, those parts would make no sense. The way they are, I hoped they would be funny and ingenious at the same time. Oh, and more engaging and easy to follow. Like you're going to read these seven pages a lot faster than almost any other writing style you choose.

Thanks for taking the time to read it and for your suggestions, again.

PS. I am trying to "draw" the story line towards a philosophical conclusion, which might cause both believers and nonbelievers to stop and think for a minute, but I'm far from my destination at this point. I've already written part 2 (only 4 pages) and barely made any progress in that direction.

It doesn't matter what I believe; all that matters is what I can prove!
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14-02-2015, 04:08 PM
RE: "X-ercise in Imagination"
(14-02-2015 03:31 PM)Peebothuhul Wrote:  
(14-02-2015 03:14 PM)Job_1207 Wrote:  I wrote one myself about nine years ago (340 pages on computer format, which might turn into over 600 of a paperback) but I was not able to have it published anywhere in the States. Apparently there are too many people who write and not so many who read. If you don't have an agent to promote your work, you have little chance to do it yourself.

Unfortunately... this is, perhaps, not the best forum for such an endeavor... Just saying... Unsure

Much cheers to all .
As I wrote in a adjacent post,

I am trying to "draw" the story line towards a philosophical conclusion, which might cause both believers and nonbelievers to stop and think for a minute, but I'm far from my destination at this point. I've already written part 2 (only 4 pages) and barely made any progress in that direction.

So maybe it is not such an inappropriate place to post my paper after all.

It doesn't matter what I believe; all that matters is what I can prove!
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14-02-2015, 04:41 PM
RE: "X-ercise in Imagination"
I think you missed my point about T-dum and T-dee. I didn't mean that you need to name them.

I meant that you could flesh them out a little. Not so much with a description but instead during their dialogue just drop in a few character hints.

Even if you intend it to be just one character with a split personality (Gollum-like) there are still ways to give them more personality.

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14-02-2015, 06:21 PM
RE: "X-ercise in Imagination"
(14-02-2015 10:06 AM)Job_1207 Wrote:  Hi guys,

I hope you didn't think you got rid of me so easily. Just kidding. I haven't been online for a week but now I'm back. I just want to start a new thread which is not about evolution or God, but it can lead to that discussion.

One of you said (replying to one of my comments) that you atheists don't go to religious forums and ask them why they are so damn sure there is a God. I suppose that's just a diplomatic translation of, "If we don't bother you guys, why the hell do you (Job_1207) come here to pester us with your stupid god and imaginary boss?" It would take me too long to answer that question, but one thing is for sure: If you are so certain of the validity of your conviction, then an argumentative discussion with pests like me would only benefit you. At the end of the day you would have proven creationists wrong once more and by doing that you would have strengthened your own conviction about evolution and materialism. It's like in computer games; when you kill a beast you get "experience" and your level increases.

But for now, I don't want us to fight anymore. I just want to share something with you. Something about imagination that is supposed to be very funny. It uses the English language in a way that becomes either ridiculously brilliant or brilliantly ridiculous. It's up to you to decide which one it is.

PS. Read at least one page before you discard it as "trash." Again, it's supposed to have linguistic value, not philosophical, so take it as a joke. Enjoy!

Hi Job 1207,

I don't mind you here at all and you're not pestering me. It's not about winning debates, it's about getting to the truth. That's all. We want you to stop believing in something that isn't true. It's hard, but aren't you better off living in reality instead of a fantasy land?

If your link is not an answer to my question from the other thread about how one can reliably distinguish what you are calling "God" from something that you are merely imagining, then I'm not going to watch it.

Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. - Ayn Rand.

Don't sacrifice for me, live for yourself! - Me

The only alternative to Objectivism is some form of Subjectivism. - Dawson Bethrick
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15-02-2015, 10:15 AM
RE: "X-ercise in Imagination"
(14-02-2015 10:06 AM)Job_1207 Wrote:  Hi guys,

I hope you didn't think you got rid of me so easily. Just kidding. I haven't been online for a week but now I'm back. I just want to start a new thread which is not about evolution or God, but it can lead to that discussion.

One of you said (replying to one of my comments) that you atheists don't go to religious forums and ask them why they are so damn sure there is a God. I suppose that's just a diplomatic translation of, "If we don't bother you guys, why the hell do you (Job_1207) come here to pester us with your stupid god and imaginary boss?" It would take me too long to answer that question, but one thing is for sure: If you are so certain of the validity of your conviction, then an argumentative discussion with pests like me would only benefit you. At the end of the day you would have proven creationists wrong once more and by doing that you would have strengthened your own conviction about evolution and materialism. It's like in computer games; when you kill a beast you get "experience" and your level increases.

But for now, I don't want us to fight anymore. I just want to share something with you. Something about imagination that is supposed to be very funny. It uses the English language in a way that becomes either ridiculously brilliant or brilliantly ridiculous. It's up to you to decide which one it is.

PS. Read at least one page before you discard it as "trash." Again, it's supposed to have linguistic value, not philosophical, so take it as a joke. Enjoy!

The conversation between the two characters was a bit overdone and detracts from the sense of narrative. Unless it's pivotal to the story I'd try and tone it down. As DLJ says, it strikes me as a stream of consciousness. Then again, I don't know where this is headed so that may well be the point.

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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15-02-2015, 03:23 PM
RE: "X-ercise in Imagination"
(14-02-2015 04:41 PM)DLJ Wrote:  I think you missed my point about T-dum and T-dee. I didn't mean that you need to name them.

I meant that you could flesh them out a little. Not so much with a description but instead during their dialogue just drop in a few character hints.

Even if you intend it to be just one character with a split personality (Gollum-like) there are still ways to give them more personality.

Okay, I understand now what you were trying to say before.

It doesn't matter what I believe; all that matters is what I can prove!
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