You're Invited to my Funeral
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16-11-2013, 06:51 PM
You're Invited to my Funeral
When I die, I want it to be a legitimate "celebration of my life."

I don't want people making it about God and prayer because if they truly knew me and they valued my ideals, they wouldn't pray for me at MY funeral.

If they feel it'll help them, based on their beliefs, they can pray for me unofficially and after the funeral.

Don't turn it into some "praise God! He took her to be with him now" bullshit. How unfair is it to the deceased to live their whole life, uh... living and possibly being an amazing human being, only to get overshadowed at their own funeral? COMPLETELY UNFAIR.

*******

By the way, I went to a funeral today. I didn't know the guy and I went to support my sister and best friend.

The minister used some stupid prayer all about God. I don't care if parts of it "fit" some well-known aspects of one's life; It's not fucking church, douche!

********

Anyway, when I die, you're invited to my funeral. I hope that I make a good impression on those I've come into contact with in my life. I like to believe I have lived and will continue to live, treating others how I want to be treated and with respect. I follow my own, personal morals and am honest with myself.

Also, if ANYONE tries to pray up on the stage (I should REALLY get a will started; I don't want it in a church!) and says something like, "I know Ashley would HATE this, but, I would like to recite a bible verse" or "Let's pray for her anyway," I give you permission to stand up and yell at them that they are disrespectful, self-righteous assholes. Even if it's a little old lady.

Let me rest; I had a rough life. It's my turn to get a last party and fucking be done.


SHARE YOUR EXPECTATIONS FOR YOUR FUNERAL, IF YOU WANT.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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16-11-2013, 06:56 PM
RE: You're Invited to my Funeral
I don't want a funeral.

I want to be cremated and I want my ashes to be mixed with compost and used to plant a tree.

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16-11-2013, 06:56 PM
RE: You're Invited to my Funeral
I have zero expectations. Whatever makes me feel good is fine with me. If they wanna invite the pope, that's cool.

As for your funeral, I love ya Peenit, but I must respectfully decline. When you die, I'll take a walk in the woods and cry for myself, and everyone else that'll miss you. Then I'll make cookies in your honor!

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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16-11-2013, 06:57 PM
RE: You're Invited to my Funeral
(16-11-2013 06:56 PM)Dom Wrote:  I don't want a funeral.

I want to be cremated and I want my ashes to be mixed with compost and used to plant a tree.

Doesn't mean you can't have a funeral. Or, more accurately, doesn't mean they can't have a funeral for you.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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16-11-2013, 07:00 PM
RE: You're Invited to my Funeral
(16-11-2013 06:56 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  I have zero expectations. Whatever makes me feel good is fine with me. If they wanna invite the pope, that's cool.

As for your funeral, I love ya Peenit, but I must respectfully decline. When you die, I'll take a walk in the woods and cry for myself, and everyone else that'll miss you. Then I'll make cookies in your honor!

I love no-bake cookies... I would love for you to enjoy them in my honor.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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16-11-2013, 07:03 PM
RE: You're Invited to my Funeral
I'd like it hosted by Girly, catered by Stark, and emceed by DLJ.

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16-11-2013, 07:04 PM
RE: You're Invited to my Funeral
You mean the chocolate kind with oatmeal and coconut? Those are my favorite!

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16-11-2013, 07:04 PM
RE: You're Invited to my Funeral
(16-11-2013 06:56 PM)Dom Wrote:  I don't want a funeral.

I want to be cremated and I want my ashes to be mixed with compost and used to plant a tree.

I want to be cremated. Why spend so much money of a casket that'll go in in the ground?

But I want to be cremated and my ashes spread somewhere special. And instead of an actual headstone, I would like a bench. It can have my name and dates on it, I haven't really thought of it much. But this way, people can take a much needed seat. I know I like to go to the cemetery to sit and ponder life; It'll be fitting for me to have a bench.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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16-11-2013, 07:06 PM
RE: You're Invited to my Funeral
(16-11-2013 07:04 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  You mean the chocolate kind with oatmeal and coconut? Those are my favorite!

I never had any with coconut! Just the oatmeal, peanut butter and cocoa. But I think we are talking about the same thing. AWW! How fitting.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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16-11-2013, 07:18 PM
RE: You're Invited to my Funeral
I want a prank from beyond the grave! It can always be more elaborate, but I'd sign off on a simple string and pulley system that sat me up at just the right moment, with some sort of sound being pumped from hidden speakers!





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