Your Embarrassing Moments.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
21-05-2012, 05:00 PM
RE: Your Embarrassing Moments.
(20-05-2012 03:34 PM)sven Wrote:  While traveling to a hotel with a pool and not having packed trunks with me, the management provided a complimentary pair. They were about the texture of crepe paper but served the one-time purpose. I later packed them with me on a trip to the ocean. The disposable trunks at that time were over a year old, and upon contact with the salt and surf they literally fell apart. My childish friends saw my predicament and refused to help. I had to retrieve my towel some distance away, on a crowded beach, exposed front and back.

Apparently we have the same taste in friends. Wink In my case I was wearing some terrycloth shorts which I didn't realize would become translucent when wet. Fuckers wouldn't throw me a towel either. Before I got outta the water, I warned them "There are things which once seen can never be unseen." ... Years later one of my best friends said, "I shoulda thrown you a towel." Big Grin

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-08-2012, 02:29 AM
RE: Your Embarrassing Moments.
Had another one yesterday.

So, we have a worm problem in our backyard. We have dew worms, AKA night crawlers AKA anglers.

These are disgustingly large earthworms who can be up to a metre long. They only come out at night and they leave the lawn so lumpy a person can break an ankle on them.

The other night I went to get my dog from his pen in the very back. I had freshly cut the lawn and left the clipping all over to promote a healthier lawn. Some had sprayed onto the sidewalk and when the sensor light went on I saw about 3 dozen worms slide off the sidewalk into the grass like a snake. I could hear them crawling all over the backyard. When I stomped, the sound got louder as they scurried into the earth. Eww! I ran in my rubber boots to grab the dog and texted my friend who I complain about this all the time to. She said I can make money and sell for fish bait- but I can't stand to be in the same vicinity as these creatures let alone pick them up. I understand their function and can appreciate how interesting they are, but if it fucking touches me I will lose it. (Just sayin'!)

Anyway, all this wasn't really necessary for the embarrassing moment, but it's a good back story and I had to get it off my chest how grossed I am by the backyard. Ick!


Anyways, my friend said she'd come over with her family to pick some and see if they can sell them to see if it's something we should bother doing.

So, we had them in this cup crawling around, just to check them out and weigh them (you can get roughly $80 a pound, that's the word on the street).

Because they are all together, this slimy froth stuff started forming. My friend informed me that she thought this was a gooey stuff that helps them mate to procreate.

So now I'm checking them out. So here is the part where I have a freudian slip. Confused

So, the family- with kids of all ages- is standing around and what do I say instead of "I can't believe there are so many worms!"?

I say, "I can't believe there are so many sperms!"

So there is silence and then the teenage boy starts laughing hard, and we all start laughing and I go beet red. Then the 7 year old friend-child asks, "Mom, what's a sperm?" and we are all laughing and can't answer quickly, so she shouts to my daughter in the other room, "Hey, do you know what a sperm is? They all think sperms are funny!"

And finally her mom gives the off handed remark that it's a whale so that I can at least save face. So now these large worms are called whale worms. Confused

It may seem so minor, but when something slips out of the mouth in a direction you did not intend, it kinda throughs a person off.

This wasn't embarrassing to the point I stressed after, but it was embarrassing enough to make me go beet red.

I'm going to start scaling my embarrassing moments. I give this a 4/10
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like LadyJane's post
10-08-2012, 02:39 AM
Your Embarrassing Moments.
   
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-08-2012, 02:43 AM
RE: Your Embarrassing Moments.
(10-08-2012 02:29 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  It may seem so minor, but when something slips out of the mouth in a direction you did not intend, it kinda throws a person off.

Oh, I know! It's always embarrassing when Sperm slips out of your mouth.

And so much worse when children are watching.

So very unladylike

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like DLJ's post
10-08-2012, 06:18 AM
Your Embarrassing Moments.
(10-08-2012 02:43 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(10-08-2012 02:29 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  It may seem so minor, but when something slips out of the mouth in a direction you did not intend, it kinda throws a person off.

Oh, I know! It's always embarrassing when Sperm slips out of your mouth.

And so much worse when children are watching.

So very unladylike

I literally lol'd.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-08-2012, 06:48 AM
RE: Your Embarrassing Moments.
(10-08-2012 06:18 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  
(10-08-2012 02:43 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Oh, I know! It's always embarrassing when Sperm slips out of your mouth.

And so much worse when children are watching.

So very unladylike

I literally lol'd.

Thanks. Do I get a single entendre award?

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-08-2012, 07:23 AM (This post was last modified: 10-08-2012 12:30 PM by KidCharlemagne1962.)
RE: Your Embarrassing Moments.
OK, I'm sure with the sympathy level from you lot, I won't feel stupid after relating this.

When I was around 20 I was invited to go skiing. Being a city kid I had never been exposed to that particular sport. So off I go. I rent the required gear, and off to the bunny slope, which is adjacent to the parking lot, this is a key point at the end. It isn't a large hill so I figured I was going to get this down pretty quickly. After some perfunctory instruction (at least that is how I remember it) I launch myself down the hill with a bunch of 4 year old kids that seem bent on crossing my path or using me as a slalom cone. I failed to grasp that I was coming to the end of the slope/hill. Of anything the instructor said "falling down" never cam to mind and I rapidly tried to adjust I ran out of slope. Everything was OK though, I hit a gray Volkswagen Golf and this stopped me from going further into the parking lot. One of the little urchins that had plagued my descent comes up to the end of the snow, does a little hockey stop and asks "Mister are you OK?". I may not believe in hell but I do believe Dante made a special level in Hell for these ragamuffins. I gathered my gear, some of which came off and headed to the lounge (where I should have been in the first place). To this day I have a fear of gray VW's. I have never had the desire or nerve to try skiing again.

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like KidCharlemagne1962's post
10-08-2012, 07:50 AM
RE: Your Embarrassing Moments.
(10-08-2012 07:23 AM)KidCharlemagne1962 Wrote:  OK, I'm sure with the sympathy level from you lot, I won't feel stupid after relating this.

When I was around 20 I was invited to go skiing. Being a city kid I had never been exposed to that particular sport. So off I go. I rent the required gear, and off to the bunny slope, which is adjacent to the parking lot, this is a key point at the end. It isn't a large hill so I figured I was going to get this down pretty quickly. After some perfunctory instruction (at least that is how I remember it) I launch myself down the hill with a bunch of 4 year old kids that seem bent on crossing my path or using me as a slalom cone. I failed to grasp that I was coming to the end of the slope/hill. Of anything the instructor said "falling down" never cam to mind and I rapidly tried to adjust I ran out of slope. Everything was OK though, I hit a gray Volkswagen Golf and this stopped me from going further into the parking lot. One of the little urchins that had plagued my descent comes up to the end of the snow, does a little hockey stop and asks "Mister are you OK?". I may not believe in hell but I do believe Dante mad a special level in Hell for these ragamuffins. I gathered my gear, some of which came off and headed to the lounge (where I should have been in the first place). To this day I have a fear of gray VW's. I have never had the desire or nerve to try skiing again.

I can understand why you were piste off.

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-08-2012, 02:05 AM
RE: Your Embarrassing Moments.
Had sexy texting time with my girlfriend, and my phones spell check changed boobs into bombs.

Killed the moment....

Member of the Cult of Reason

The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
-Baron d'Holbach-
Bitcion:1DNeQMswMdvx4xLPP6qNE7RkeTwXGC7Bzp
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes fstratzero's post
15-08-2012, 03:38 AM
RE: Your Embarrassing Moments.
(10-08-2012 02:29 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  So, we have a worm problem in our backyard. We have dew worms, AKA night crawlers AKA anglers.

These are disgustingly large earthworms who can be up to a metre long. They only come out at night and they leave the lawn so lumpy a person can break an ankle on them.
Dozens and up to meter long, really? Sounds like a nightmare to me. Where do you live, so I can never ever go there? Phobia, you know. The way how the worms move around gives me creeps. Do they ever crawl into houses or shoes left outside?

What you describe makes me want to use drastic measures, like squirt gun filled with petrol (and lighter in front of it) or sprinkling the lawn with lime, at least.
We had a similar problem around here with Spanish slugs, last year there were several of them per square meter. But none was a meter long, thanks Mother Nature. These were busy days with machette.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: