Your cooking recipes...hints and tips.
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09-04-2014, 08:12 PM
RE: Your cooking recipes...hints and tips.
Fried spider:

2 cups canola or vegetable oil
2 frozen adult Texas brown, Chilean rose, or similar-sized tarantulas, thawed
1 cup tempura batter
1 teaspoon smoked paprika

In a deep saucepan or deep-fat fryer, heat the oil to 350°F.

With a sharp knife, sever and discard the abdomens from the two tarantulas. Singe off any of the spider's body hairs with a crème brûlée torch or butane cigarette lighter.

Dip each spider into the tempura batter to thoroughly coat. Use a slotted spoon or your hands to make sure each spider is spread-eagled (so to speak) and not clumped together before dropping it into the hot oil.

Deep-fry the spiders, one at a time, until the batter is lightly browned, about 1 minute. Remove each spider from the oil and place it on paper towels to drain.

Use a sharp knife to cut each spider in two lengthwise. Sprinkle with the paprika and serve. Encourage your guests to try the legs first and, if still hungry, to nibble on the meat-filled mesothorax, avoiding the spider’s paired fangs, which are tucked away in the head region.


[Image: Guilmon-41189.gif] my youtube
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12-04-2014, 05:13 PM
RE: Your cooking recipes...hints and tips.
(09-04-2014 07:10 PM)Lienda Bella Wrote:  Chocolate bark

A bag of chocolate chips that are usually used in baking cookies.
Hard candy of your choice, smashed into small chunks and powder. Make it about four regular sized lollipops that don't have the gun in the middle.

Melt the chocolate and stir in 3/4 of the smashed hard candy. Spread the chocolate out over a sheet of parchment paper. Sprinkle the rest of the candy on top of it for looks. Put the sheet into the refrigerator to hasten the cooling of the chocolate.

The chocolate will melt in your hands, but you can put whatever flavor you want in there.

Facepalm I meant gum, and not gun. A gun would be too greasy.
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14-04-2014, 10:18 PM
RE: Your cooking recipes...hints and tips.
I've cooked for as long as I can remember. Don't buy a bread making machine. If you want hardware, buy a kitchen aid mixer with a dough hook. I made bread every other day in college because it was cheaper than buying it. Although probably not true anymore, you can control what you eat when making your own anything.
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16-08-2014, 04:44 AM
RE: Your cooking recipes...hints and tips.
Mansikkalumi (Finnish)
Strawberry snow

To serve 6 to 8.

2 Cups fresh strawberries
1/2 cup sugar
4 egg whites
Pinch of salt
3/4 cup heavy whipping cream, stiffly whipped.
12-16 whole strawberries.

With the back of a large spoon, rub the fresh strawberries through a fine sieve into a small mixing bowl. Stir into this puree the 1/2 cup sugar a little bit at a time.

Using a balloon wire whisk, beat the egg whites and salt vigorously in a large bowl (preferably a unlined copper) until the whites are still enough to form unwavering peaks when the beater is lifted out of the bowl.

With a gentle under-over cutting motion rather then a stirring motion, use a rubber spatula to fold first the strawberry puree and then the whipped cream into the egg whites. Pour the snow into an attactive serving bowl, or individual dessert bowls or whine glass and decorate with the whole strawberries left over. This can be served at once or refrigerated for a few hours and served later in the day.

My Youtube channel if anyone is interested.
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03-11-2014, 10:35 PM
RE: Your cooking recipes...hints and tips.
Blueberry sauce from scratch with grits. Part of this is from The Thug Kitchen Cook Book.

First we need to get your blueberry sauce. You will need:

(I used half of what the recipe calls for to make less since I'm just cooking for me)
- Blueberries 1/2 lb
- Sugar 2tbsp
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 2 large pieces of lemon zest (the skin of lemon, just cut some with a knife and you're set)
- 2 tbsp water
- 2 tbsp lemon juice

Step 1. Toss everything in a small sauce pan. While you're doing this, toss your grits in a SEPARATE pan and get that shit started. Follow the directions to make your grits on the box, it pretty much boils down to "put x amount of water on your grits, stir often over heat" and boom, grits. It's easy.

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Step 2. Turn the burner up to medium. Stir the shit out of everything and smash berries as you go along. As they get hotter, the berries will smash easier. What you want is to wait until steam starts to rise a bit from your sauce pan, you know that it's getting hotter. Stir for another 2 minutes. At this point your grits are probably close to done, or done. Take them off the burner if they are.

You'll notice that it'll start sticking to the spoon a bit instead of being watery.
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Step 3. Turn the burner as low as you can get it or to "simmer" and let it simmer for 10 minutes. Keep stirring once in a while, smash up more berries if you can. Let it sit for 10 minutes.

Step 4. After 10 minutes, turn the burner OFF, stir it more and remove the lemon zest from the sauce. As it cools down over the next 5 or 10 minutes it will thicken.

(now is starting to become a sauce!)
[Image: HgHK7Bxl.jpg]

Step 5. Toss your grits in a delicious bowl you wish to eat out of. Smother that blueberry paste all over that shit. It's delicious. You're going to feel like such a badass having made your own blueberry sauce from scratch. True badass style. Your mom will probably be jealous of your cooking skills and ask for the recipe. Tell her she needs to be a thug first.
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I said fuck it and smothered mine with ALL THE SAUCE. My mouth didn't complain.
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Now.... for the final phase... EAT IT! Enjoy your mouth orgasm.
[Image: TeUfuBW.gif]

Official ordained minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Please pm me with prayer requests to his noodly goodness. Remember, he boiled for your sins and loves you. Carbo Diem! RAmen.
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03-11-2014, 10:56 PM
RE: Your cooking recipes...hints and tips.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein It is objectively immoral to kill innocent babies. Please stick to the guilty babies.
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14-11-2014, 07:15 PM
RE: Your cooking recipes...hints and tips.
I got a delicious loaf of asiago cheese bread. I'll never eat it all, so I'm turning half of it into croutons.

Preheat oven to 400
Cube bread into whatever size you like, and place in a bowl
Drizzle them in olive oil. Just enough to coat them, you don't want them drowning.
Sprinkle seasoning of choice (for mine I used a touch of Parmesan, and an Italian seasoning blend)
Mix well
Bake for 15 mins or until crispy

Mine are in the oven now, I can't wait! Drooling I'll update with a picture, and how they turned out later.

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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26-11-2014, 01:10 PM
RE: Your cooking recipes...hints and tips.
I made homemade scones this morning, so I could have a nice holiday treat for myself, and bring something to a friend's house tomorrow for breakfast. I used Alton Brown's scone recipe, he's on the Food Network, for those unaware of who he is. They came delish! Only hint I'll offer, is make sure you make them about 1 to 1.5 inches thick before putting into the oven, as my first batch, I rolled out the dough too thin. Oops

I used dried fruits, cranberries and blueberries. Enjoy!

Be true to yourself. Heart
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10-02-2015, 04:42 PM
RE: Your cooking recipes...hints and tips.
Maple Kaluha

It's almost that time of year. I make maple syrup - and I've come up with one great use for it -- getting lit...

Maple Kaluha

Take two cups of a Kona coffee bean and put in a blender with one pint (375 ml - half a 750 ml "fifth" bottle) of vodka. Grind at low speed for a minute. Pour into a quart jar, and cover. Let sit for an hour.

Run the mixture through either a cheesecloth filter - or a coffee bail to remove the coffee grinds.

Mix the coffee/vodka mix with the remaining vodka - you will have less than the 1/5 bottle holds (some vodka stays with the grinds)

Take an equal amount of maple syrup - plus 10 percent or so -- and cook the maple syrup in a DEEP pan for about 12-15 minutes --- CAUTION ---- Maple syrup boils at temperatures in excess of 220 f -- and will burn the shit out of you. ADDITIONAL CAUTION --- IT RAPIDLY EXPANDS - and it's VERY easy to boil over your pan. DO NOT BOIL UNATTENDED!!!! I cannot overemphasis this.

Let syrup cool to room temperature then mix with the coffee/vodka mix - add 3 tablespoons of vanilla extract.



But --- overindulgence WILL result in the goddamned weirdest dreams you ever have - and even if you DO sleep all night - it sure won't seem like it.

Better than commercially available coffee liquors -- thicker, higher octane and more coffee flavor.


I'm a double atheist. I don't believe in your god or your politician.
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15-03-2015, 12:45 PM (This post was last modified: 15-03-2015 12:49 PM by Stark Raving.)
RE: Your cooking recipes...hints and tips.
Baked apple French toast.

(I just made it up as I went, so most of the quantities are a guess. It turned out well enough that I'll try to be accurate next time I make it.)

2 medium apples, sliced
1 tbsp brown sugar
1 tsp cinnamon
6 or 7 slices french bread
½ cup milk
6 eggs

Slice apples and toss with sugar and cinnamon in large mixing bowl until evenly coated

Cut bred into cubes and toss with apples.

Put apples and bread into a large,well buttered casserole.

Beat together eggs and milk in the mixing bowl until even but not bubbly.

Pour over bread and apples, being careful to cover all. Let soak covered for ½ hour or overnight.

Uncover and bake at 350 for 40 minutes or until knife comes out clean.

Drizzle with maple syrup and serve hot.

Edit to add: I bet Logischs blueberry sauce would be good on top too.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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