Your experiences with homophobes-
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23-04-2012, 04:29 PM
RE: Your experiences with homophobes-
(23-04-2012 04:27 PM)AnotherSinner Wrote:  
(23-04-2012 04:14 PM)kineo Wrote:  I personally think that having a sense of style has nothing to do with sexuality. There are plenty of both gay and straight dudes who couldn't put together an outfit to save their lives. Likewise there are plenty of both gay and straight dudes who could tell you whether or not your shoes match your outfit and which accessories work better.

If there is a statistical trend showing that gay men are more likely to be willing to shop or show an interest in fashion, then maybe it's because they don't care about being labeled as "gay" according to the same stereotype that suggests it's something only women and gay men do. Undecided
Well said.
Makes me think of an instance that my sister in law had. She ended up calling the school her daughter attends because they told her daughter that she could not like blue as her favorite color because it was quote on quote 'A boy's color.'
It is no wonder that stereotypes are so easily and readily fallen into. Society has already gender labled our colors. Not to mention much of what we say or do. Hard not to get loss in the mess.
I wonder if there is any biological predisposition to what we percieve as masculine or feminine. Are girls more likely to be born with a fondness for pink? Boys to blue? Girls to dolls? Boys to Tonka trucks?

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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23-04-2012, 04:33 PM
RE: Your experiences with homophobes-
(23-04-2012 04:29 PM)germanyt Wrote:  
(23-04-2012 04:27 PM)AnotherSinner Wrote:  Well said.
Makes me think of an instance that my sister in law had. She ended up calling the school her daughter attends because they told her daughter that she could not like blue as her favorite color because it was quote on quote 'A boy's color.'
It is no wonder that stereotypes are so easily and readily fallen into. Society has already gender labled our colors. Not to mention much of what we say or do. Hard not to get loss in the mess.
I wonder if there is any biological predisposition to what we percieve as masculine or feminine. Are girls more likely to be born with a fondness for pink? Boys to blue? Girls to dolls? Boys to Tonka trucks?

I wonder the same... but my uneducated opinion is that nearly all of it is environmental.
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23-04-2012, 04:39 PM
RE: Your experiences with homophobes-
(23-04-2012 04:29 PM)germanyt Wrote:  I wonder if there is any biological predisposition to what we percieve as masculine or feminine. Are girls more likely to be born with a fondness for pink? Boys to blue? Girls to dolls? Boys to Tonka trucks?
Something from my psych courses: About 100 years ago (or so...) Pink was a boys color (diluted red, men's was red, boys would be diluted), Blue was a girls. Another item that, well I pointed out a few times, was that there is virtually no way to tell if there would be a preference in most situations: parents automatically pick out the colors/toys when they find out the gender. I remember from someplace (probably a textbook) that when a child is presented with any option of a toy, the parents still encourage, boy picks up doll--parents "frown". Picks up truck, they "smile". Well, you kind of get the idea--they reinforce the choices they want, the child conforms. If there is no reinforcement in either direction, I believe there was a news thing on this even, but I can't remember, but the child will be more likely to develop his/her own likes. So you end up with a boy who might like wearing pink dresses while running around shooting other boys with a watergun--or a girl wearing overalls throwing a tea party with friends. But then there's the other problem, if the child's likes and dislikes don't match with others the child's age, the child may "change" to fit in, even if the child doesn't really like it.
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23-04-2012, 05:03 PM
RE: Your experiences with homophobes-
One of my pet peeves is the attitude so many men take, that girl on girl is cool, but guy on guy is gross. Almost as though two girls together is somehow more "straight". I prefer to live outside the confines of straight and gay. In general, I am attracted to women, but once in a while I'll meet a guy that is just too attractive to not want. I'm very much a guys guy, so it really throws a lot of people when they find out that I've also been with guys. I like to bring it up whe they start getting homophobic, or start making rude gay jokes. And it's happened often.

When a guy like me calls you on being homophobic, it's usually met with a bunch of excuses about how they are just kidding, that it's fine but just not for them. I really like shutting that crap down and making them face up to what they said after they find out I go both ways.

You shoud have seen my homophobic step fathers face when he mentioned Ewan McGregor and I blurted out, "all you gotta do is mention that dudes name and I get a hard on!"

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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23-04-2012, 05:26 PM
RE: Your experiences with homophobes-
Hmmmm...my favorite color has been blue as long as I can remember...my first bike (that I had from my 7th birthday till I was 16) was blue and I got some grief over that. It's only been recently that I wear anything pink.

I was a little bit of a tomboy for a klutzy kid. Yikes...I also have pretty good mechanical aptitude and I can read a map...maybe I need some time for reflection...perhaps I am gender confused.

Now you guys have me all worked up. Damnit! Shocking

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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23-04-2012, 05:39 PM
RE: Your experiences with homophobes-
(23-04-2012 04:29 PM)germanyt Wrote:  
(23-04-2012 04:27 PM)AnotherSinner Wrote:  Well said.
Makes me think of an instance that my sister in law had. She ended up calling the school her daughter attends because they told her daughter that she could not like blue as her favorite color because it was quote on quote 'A boy's color.'
It is no wonder that stereotypes are so easily and readily fallen into. Society has already gender labled our colors. Not to mention much of what we say or do. Hard not to get loss in the mess.
I wonder if there is any biological predisposition to what we percieve as masculine or feminine. Are girls more likely to be born with a fondness for pink? Boys to blue? Girls to dolls? Boys to Tonka trucks?
I did not play with Barbie...I liked Ken. Otherwise played with Ninja Turtles ...and when my sisters played house...I was always....daddy. Just...creepy to think what society would have deemed me based on that. Yet....here I am happily married to a man I cannot get enough of. Then I keep telling him that I am a gay guy trapped in a woman's body. To which he argues that he is a lesbian trapped in a man's after correcting me of course.

A man's greatest pitfall is none other than himself. For only he can dig himself a hole he cannot get out of.
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23-04-2012, 05:47 PM
RE: Your experiences with homophobes-
(23-04-2012 05:03 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  One of my pet peeves is the attitude so many men take, that girl on girl is cool, but guy on guy is gross. Almost as though two girls together is somehow more "straight". I prefer to live outside the confines of straight and gay. In general, I am attracted to women, but once in a while I'll meet a guy that is just too attractive to not want. I'm very much a guys guy, so it really throws a lot of people when they find out that I've also been with guys. I like to bring it up whe they start getting homophobic, or start making rude gay jokes. And it's happened often.

You really can't figure this out? Two dudes is gross because I'm not attracted to dudes. I don't want to see some guy plowing another. And there are millions of straight women who agree that girl/girl is Thumbsup but guy/guy is No
(23-04-2012 05:26 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Hmmmm...my favorite color has been blue as long as I can remember...my first bike (that I had from my 7th birthday till I was 16) was blue and I got some grief over that. It's only been recently that I wear anything pink.

I was a little bit of a tomboy for a klutzy kid. Yikes...I also have pretty good mechanical aptitude and I can read a map...maybe I need some time for reflection...perhaps I am gender confused.

Now you guys have me all worked up. Damnit! Shocking
That confirms it. You're as much a man as KC is an atheist. Tongue

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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23-04-2012, 06:07 PM
RE: Your experiences with homophobes-
(23-04-2012 05:47 PM)germanyt Wrote:  
(23-04-2012 05:03 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  One of my pet peeves is the attitude so many men take, that girl on girl is cool, but guy on guy is gross. Almost as though two girls together is somehow more "straight". I prefer to live outside the confines of straight and gay. In general, I am attracted to women, but once in a while I'll meet a guy that is just too attractive to not want. I'm very much a guys guy, so it really throws a lot of people when they find out that I've also been with guys. I like to bring it up whe they start getting homophobic, or start making rude gay jokes. And it's happened often.

You really can't figure this out? Two dudes is gross because I'm not attracted to dudes. I don't want to see some guy plowing another. And there are millions of straight women who agree that girl/girl is Thumbsup but guy/guy is No
I've heard/seen from some that the guy/guy thing is bad because it makes one of the men a "woman" and the "woman" is the weaker sex--so a man/man is degrading and demeaning and the thought of a man wanting that is disgusting. Two women is two equals, and two equals going at it is totally hot (or whatever). Guy and girl, well it's like the dominant with the subservient--so that's all good too.

I've even seen similar things within some of my gay (male) friends: some of them find it disgusting to have sex with a man if the man prefers the same position/role as they do. Of course others I know (not friends with, just know) say ether's good. Even one of my lesbian friends watches male-on-male porn (at least at one time) because it turned her on--because she likes the idea of a man being willing to show respect, submit, and do something for their partner without regard for themselves.

One of my friends even said (many years ago) when watching "The kids in the hall" said "those are some attractive women!" He was shocked when he realized that, no, those were men. It kind of illustrated my point that I bring up to people at times: what really bothers you? what the apparent gender of the people is, or what their organs are? And I admit, I'll pull in some.... interesting visual aids.

In reality, I don't care what their response is. I just try to make them think for a second or two (or 20 as that's about the point they decide to stop watching/looking).
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23-04-2012, 06:45 PM
RE: Your experiences with homophobes-
(23-04-2012 05:47 PM)germanyt Wrote:  
(23-04-2012 05:03 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  One of my pet peeves is the attitude so many men take, that girl on girl is cool, but guy on guy is gross. Almost as though two girls together is somehow more "straight". I prefer to live outside the confines of straight and gay. In general, I am attracted to women, but once in a while I'll meet a guy that is just too attractive to not want. I'm very much a guys guy, so it really throws a lot of people when they find out that I've also been with guys. I like to bring it up whe they start getting homophobic, or start making rude gay jokes. And it's happened often.

You really can't figure this out? Two dudes is gross because I'm not attracted to dudes. I don't want to see some guy plowing another. And there are millions of straight women who agree that girl/girl is Thumbsup but guy/guy is No
(23-04-2012 05:26 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Hmmmm...my favorite color has been blue as long as I can remember...my first bike (that I had from my 7th birthday till I was 16) was blue and I got some grief over that. It's only been recently that I wear anything pink.

I was a little bit of a tomboy for a klutzy kid. Yikes...I also have pretty good mechanical aptitude and I can read a map...maybe I need some time for reflection...perhaps I am gender confused.

Now you guys have me all worked up. Damnit! Shocking
That confirms it. You're as much a man as KC is an atheist. Tongue
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23-04-2012, 07:08 PM
RE: Your experiences with homophobes-
My wife was a homophobe and she didn't even know it.

I realized she was a closet homophobe when we were talking about delivery doctors. She wanted a woman, and I said something about a gay doctor being an acceptable substitute, sort of half joking. She said in seriousness that she didn't want a gay doctor down there. I looked at her funny. She had gay friends, she couldn't be a homophobe... could she?

Long story short she had residual feelings about gay people left over from her religious days. Her parents are strict mennonites, who do pro life rallys and dislike gays vehemently. She realized she didn't actually care if people were gay, I even got her to read some scientific papers about how gay behavior is actually found in nature.

I'm the proud husband of someone who IS NOT a homophobe. I love her.

I am also not a homophobe but I make gay jokes sometimes. Sorry gay people. I also find straight jokes quite funny.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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