Your opinion: trust, respect, and insecurity in relationships
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23-01-2015, 10:17 PM
RE: Your opinion: trust, respect, and insecurity in relationships
(21-01-2015 07:00 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  
(20-01-2015 10:54 PM)freetoreason Wrote:  Agree, let's not judge. I would never judge you for marrying young. There are definite advantages.

I do think that women are biologically more suited to monogamy than are men, and there's a sense in which monogamy has been imposed on men as a social construct. Having sex with only my wife feels extremely unnatural to me physically. Rarely a day goes by that I don't see multiple women that my brain responds to sexually.

One piece of advice I would give women is there's a disconnect between how your partner feels about you and their desire to have sex with other women. They can think you're the most desirable thing around and they'll still desire the variety and conquest. Don't let that get you down, and maybe even consider giving men a little freedom occasionally if it's safe and there are no strings.

I agree that most women would probably have an easier time with monogamy than men. I wish monogamy wasn't imposed on anyone. It would be perfect if everyone could just be honest with themselves and not be pressured one way or the other. I hate the idea of anyone feeling trapped or pressured.

As a woman, I would agree that there is a disconnect between knowing that my husband loves me and the fact that he has sexual desires for other women. It doesn't bother me knowing that he has sexual desires for other women, because that's normal. However, it does make me jealous and insecure to think about him actually having sex with other women. I don't want to feel that way though. I want to have more self confidence that doesn't rely on what someone else does. I do think I've gotten a lot better about different things. For example, I used to not be okay with porn, but now I am. I figured, if we're gonna be monogamous, I've at least gotta not break my husbands balls about porn- right? Lol I like to watch it every now and then too.

Yeah porn has been great for our sex life. Makes my wife horny Thumbsup: I bet your husband really appreciates your open mindedness.

I don't know if it's possible for a woman to not be jealous of her guy getting with another woman. You might be able to reach a point where you could look the other way if you needed to. I hope you never need to. Women should know that the more freedom they provide, the less likely it is that a man will feel the need to exercise it.

I love my wife deeply and I'm simultaneously extremely horny for her and other women. You women just don't understand how HARD it is for us guys! Poor us! Sad
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24-01-2015, 09:17 AM
RE: Your opinion: trust, respect, and insecurity in relationships
(10-01-2015 07:44 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Hey, so I was just thinking about my little sister who is very jealous and insecure- to say the very least. I love my brother-in-law like he was blood, and I feel bad for him that he has to put up with my sisters nonsense. My sister checks his Facebook regularly and she flips out if he's even friends with a woman who is remotely pretty or even just his age. My sister is the stereotypical nagging wife and one of the most unreasonable people I know.
Here's the point- I'm all for letting your spouse know your passwords to social media accounts and email accounts, but what if your spouse is like my sister? What if they have to log into your accounts regularly and check your history all the time? What if your spouse gives you the third degree if an old high school friend simply comments on your picture or status? Worse of all, what if your spouse has a double standard? My sister talks to her old friends of the opposite sex, and it's no problem.

Is it wrong to deny your spouse of your passwords if they behave this way?

Your sister sounds like a nut. If I were the husband I'd just have an affair. If you're going to be scrutinized you may as well be guilty..
Seriously though the husband needs to get the fuck out of there. I sure would.
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26-01-2015, 08:14 AM
RE: Your opinion: trust, respect, and insecurity in relationships
(24-01-2015 09:17 AM)Drunkin Druid Wrote:  Your sister sounds like a nut. If I were the husband I'd just have an affair. If you're going to be scrutinized you may as well be guilty..
Seriously though the husband needs to get the fuck out of there. I sure would.

Yeah, it's sad because she's my sister, but I'm not gonna stand up for her just because she's blood. If she's wrong, she's wrong. The sad part is that if her husband actually stood up for himself and decided to make her accountable, she would still make herself the victim. Rolleyes

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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26-01-2015, 08:31 AM
RE: Your opinion: trust, respect, and insecurity in relationships
Trust is huge for me, cheat on me once, it's over.
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26-01-2015, 08:36 AM
RE: Your opinion: trust, respect, and insecurity in relationships
The problem dealing with people -- you're dealing with people.

Expect it to make no sense, be contrary, and problematic in every sense of the word.

...

The only people that are easy to predict, influence, understand and get along with - are the dead ones.

And they're not much for conversation.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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26-01-2015, 12:03 PM
RE: Your opinion: trust, respect, and insecurity in relationships
(10-01-2015 07:44 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  Is it wrong to deny your spouse of your passwords if they behave this way?

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to this question. What's "best" probably depends on the specifics.

That said, there is obviously a serious trust issue going on with your sister. And, I hate to say it, but it's potentially a recipe for disaster. When there is proper trust, there would be no issue with sharing passwords, but there would also be no need to do so. My wife has never asked for my passwords and I have never asked for hers either. What's to check? We trust each other completely.

However, given that your sister doesn't trust her husband, it makes me concerned about how far she would take that. So, if I were her husband, I wouldn't want her in my accounts because she could fly of the deep end misinterpreting something innocent and send something offensive to someone I know and it would look like it came from me. But, of course, refusing to give the passwords would also make her suspicious so it's a lose-lose situation.

I suggest they go to marital counseling. That way, someone objective can tell your sister she needs to get some help - before it's too late for their marriage.

@DonaldTrump, Patriotism is not honoring your flag no matter what your country/leader does. It's doing whatever it takes to make your country the best it can be as long as its not violent.
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27-01-2015, 07:27 AM
RE: Your opinion: trust, respect, and insecurity in relationships
(26-01-2015 12:03 PM)Impulse Wrote:  However, given that your sister doesn't trust her husband, it makes me concerned about how far she would take that. So, if I were her husband, I wouldn't want her in my accounts because she could fly of the deep end misinterpreting something innocent and send something offensive to someone I know and it would look like it came from me. But, of course, refusing to give the passwords would also make her suspicious so it's a lose-lose situation.

Yeah, she has taken things too far before, sending rude messages to female friends of her husband. I don't know if she tells the girl that it's her or if she makes it look like it's her husband, but it's bad either way.

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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