Your responses to religious door knocking
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13-08-2012, 05:21 PM
RE: Your responses to religious door knocking
Me and a friend were sitting in a donut shop lately and saw some JW pamphlets. My friend escaped their cult years ago so she narrated them....there are creepy stories in the pamphlets.

-summum ius, summa iniuria.-M. T. Cicero
-I will show you fear in a handful of dust.-T.S. Eliot
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ἡ φύσις οὐδὲν ποιεῖ ἅλματα

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13-08-2012, 07:46 PM
RE: Your responses to religious door knocking
(10-08-2012 11:04 PM)SlipStitch Wrote:  I've yet to purchase a house. We hope to do this within the next few years. And I do expect the religious types to show up at some point.

For Mormons, I'll probably say, "Your magic underwear is showing..." and close the door.

For Jehovah's Witnesses, I'll say, "I'm an apostate. You're not supposed to talk to me..." and close the door.

Where the hell is the fun in that. Even if you just want them to leave, you owe it to yourself to play with them a little. I am waiting for my first visit in my new house. The real fun if you have time is to get doubt into their heads. If you can get at least one questioning a little, you will be made off limits to the others.
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13-08-2012, 08:10 PM
RE: Your responses to religious door knocking
my most recent encounter with them bible door thumpers... of course was a couple of black name tag wearing, 10 speed riding bitch ass mormons..

"Hello sir, have you heard of the good news from the lord jesus christ today?".....


I said, "Hold on!" left them standing at the door.. I returned to the door with my remington 12 gauge.... with a smile I pumped a round into the chamber and said, "ya know its funny about you religous kind.. everyone of you wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die to get there..."

quick to turn on their heels... they made quick time to get on their 10 speeds and rode off down the sidewalk.. not even bother to stop at the next few houses along the way lol..

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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18-08-2012, 02:47 PM
RE: Your responses to religious door knocking
(13-08-2012 07:46 PM)pawprints1985 Wrote:  
(10-08-2012 11:04 PM)SlipStitch Wrote:  I've yet to purchase a house. We hope to do this within the next few years. And I do expect the religious types to show up at some point.

For Mormons, I'll probably say, "Your magic underwear is showing..." and close the door.

For Jehovah's Witnesses, I'll say, "I'm an apostate. You're not supposed to talk to me..." and close the door.

Where the hell is the fun in that. Even if you just want them to leave, you owe it to yourself to play with them a little. I am waiting for my first visit in my new house. The real fun if you have time is to get doubt into their heads. If you can get at least one questioning a little, you will be made off limits to the others.

It would depend on my mood more than not, but my experiences with them, which have been somewhat intimate, have shown they don't surrender to seeds of doubt. At least, where the Witnesses are concerned, anyway. Those that have gone out in service for a while have basically heard it all before. If they don't have come backs for it already rehearsed, then they just ignore the questions and keep on trying to tell you how much Jesus and Jehovah love you and want you in Paradise. Except in my case, they'd be trying to convince me going back to the Kingdom Hall would "save my life" or something. Buuuuut, if I were feeling particularly snarky, I'd probably bat them around a little first.
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18-08-2012, 02:48 PM
RE: Your responses to religious door knocking
I tell them I'm an apostate and you are not allowed to talk to me.

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The atheist is a man who destroys the imaginary things which afflict the human race, and so leads men back to nature, to experience and to reason.
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23-08-2012, 09:38 AM
RE: Your responses to religious door knocking
(18-08-2012 02:48 PM)fstratzero Wrote:  I tell them I'm an apostate and you are not allowed to talk to me.

This works very well. As a former JW myself, I already know that they will NOT speak to apostates (we're like the plague to them). I haven't had any witnesses knock on my door yet, but if/when they do, politely telling them that I'm now apostate will most certainly do the trick.

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23-08-2012, 09:56 AM
RE: Your responses to religious door knocking
I tell them with gun in hand get the hell off my land. They never come back.

History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a
free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance, of which their
political as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their
own purpose. ~ Thomas Jefferson
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23-08-2012, 10:03 AM
RE: Your responses to religious door knocking
I've answered the door to these 2 JW ladies in nothing but a towel... I was just out the shower. It was rather hilarious, they were getting all embarrassed and wouldn't look me in the eyes. Tongue

They didn't go to any other houses in the street after that, they just left the area. They couldn't handle the heat. Wink

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23-08-2012, 07:50 PM
RE: Your responses to religious door knocking
I actually enjoy conversing with them anymore since I've become more open about things.
It's nice once in a while to let people see that we aren't all assholes. Of course, if they're rude, I politely tell them to get the fuck off my lawn. But for the most part, you never know which crazy theist you might wake up from their cult.
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05-10-2012, 04:16 AM
RE: Your responses to religious door knocking
I actually remember that in my old church (Now ex-church (atheist)) we had this big map of our city with each house marked with whether they had been visited or not.
Most of my experience was as a religious proselytiser...but one thing that really made me go "huh?" was when one of my elders told me not to worry about wether my content made sense when I preach to people, because "if people reject you, no matter what you are saying, they are really rejecting the christ that is in you"...

I honestly think that having any sort of debate with doorknockers is akin to banging your head against the wall...they just are not interested in listening to you.
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