Zombie Apocalypse: A case for Greece
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04-12-2015, 03:45 AM
Zombie Apocalypse: A case for Greece
...or why I'd probably survive a zombie apocalypse in Greece.


So every time I watch an episode of the Walking Dead, I can't help thinking how this or that would never have happened in Greece.


[Image: 9tIaJNe.jpg]

Here we see that the comparison is valid and shit because look, Atlanta to Washington = same distance as the length of the whole country.

So here are the many reasons why you'd want to be in Greece in case of a zombie apocalypse (spoiler: guns are overrated)

(Acknowledging here that there probably are better places to be in case of a zombie apocalypse, but this is more of a comparison between Greece and the places in the Walking Dead)

Terrain, climate and natural resources

The climate is awesome. Summers can be hot, but winters are bearable even without heating. You can grow almost anything easily. Many houses have sustainable gardens and greenhouses, especially in smaller cities and towns.

Greece is mostly mountains and has many hard to approach areas. Little villages on high mountains are perfect for protection and hunting. You can clear up a whole village in a day. And I really don't think zombies go up mountains.

Mountains, hills, meadows, beaches and even cities are full of rivers. Numerous springs on the mountains offer easy access to fresh, clean water and are often the main source of water for villagers.

Most of the parts not covered with mountains are endless stretches of farms. That means tons of seeds, arable land and animals like cows and sheep that often walk the streets. There's practically no dessert or barren land. Even within cities and towns, the impressive lack of traditional roofs with bricks offers a great opportunity for roof gardens, so you can grow stuff without having to leave your house.

And then there's the sea. You can't drive two hours from the farthest point from the sea without meeting it. Fishing, water, boats that lead to tiny islands that keep you away from any danger. You can easily build something on a little island close to the shore and have it all to yourself and occasionally visit the shore for supplies (the shore is rarely empty, all coasts are filled with towns and villages). Also, major islands are famous tourist destinations so they're packed with stores and supermarkets. And booze.
The sea also shapes a great number of interesting peninsulas that can be easily blocked and be self-sustained. Many big islands are connected to the coast by a bridge.

Like this. I bet everyone would be fighting over this. There's a whole village on the back.

[Image: 2LKGXSI.jpg?1]

We don't often plant trees in the city, but when we do, it's citrus trees. In most areas of Athens, there are at least two or three trees with oranges, lemons or bitter oranges. Olive trees are also abundant.

Since we get a lot of sun, 99% of houses have solar panels that heat water. Many have also started getting those for electricity.


Supplies

Now this is the fun part. In the US, whenever you need to buy something, it's usually at least a ten minute drive away.

Greece does not separate cities in commercial and residential areas. Any shop you want, you can find two blocks away. In every corner, there's a supermarket, a grocery store, a convenience store, a bakery, a clothing store, an electronics shop, a gas station, a pharmacy, a doctor's office, a carpenter, a pet shop (yummy parrots!), a liquor store (could you honestly deal with the situation any other way?). I have all of these within two or three blocks around my house. Everyone does. No matter what city they live in.
Did I mention the hundreds of thousands coffee shops? Great supply of sugar, coffee, cream, cocoa and other calorie-packed foods.


Greece is also infamous for its treatment of animals. There are thousands of stray dogs and cats in the streets ready to be eaten offer comfort and unconditional love to your grief stricken soul.

Now for a little history lesson. After WWII, Greece went through a coup, a civil war and a dictatorship. That meant many years of famine and many people with what we call the "occupation syndrome". People up to my mum's generation (even though it's almost passed on culturally and even I am guilty of it) are terrible hoarders, with an obsessive compulsive persistence not to "let anything go to waste". Many old people are always prepared for a second occupation by the Germans or a war with Turkey so their basements are full of supplies.

Protection

I think the most important factor that makes Greece safer, is its protective potential.

Apart from the 6000 islands we mentioned earlier, the building standards are also important. Being a country with tons of earthquakes, we must, by law, build strong, reinforced with iron cement buildings that are made to last decades. Inner walls are also massive blocks of bricks and cement. Doors are also pretty strong, especially front doors, which are often made of metal. Windows often have a double glass and sturdy metal shutters. Let them zombies try and break through all that. Ha! Even buildings built 100 years ago were made of stone and not even 1000 zombies can break down that shit.

We also have balconies and terraces everywhere. They offer great watching and sniper possibilities as well as excellent looting opportunities as most houses' roofs are connected and you can easily jump from one house to another. Yeah, gotta love the huge suburban American garden, but densely packed houses also have their merits.

These are two totally random street view screenshots that I literally took by throwing that little yellow man randomly somewhere in Athens (pic 1) and a much smaller city (pic 2)

You can see most of the things I mentioned in this part.

[Image: rUoaQEA.jpg?1]

[Image: RVIMEle.jpg?1]


Transportation

There's no need for much transportation as everything you need is close by. But let's say you do need to get somewhere. The number of motorbikes, scooters and bicycles is ridiculous. There's no way you won't find one that works.

Coasts and ports are full of little boats, big sailing boats and yachts. Ever wanted to live in your own personal Greek island and live an adventure roaming the seas? Here's your chance!

Cultural/social factors

There are too many old people in Greece and they'd make very weak zombies. Young people are becoming less and less every year.

I believe competition over who gets that last tuna can won't be that immense because, given the number of shops and supermarkets, supplies won't be that limited. A tiny convenience store can feed a family of four for months.

Crime rates are much lower than in the US. In my hometown, a town of 50,000 people, it is relatively safe to sleep with your doors unlocked and your windows open. Less criminals means less dangerous people to deal with.

But what about guns?

Yes, yes, I know, guns are illegal in Greece. But let me enlighten you on some facts.

Training is more important that actual guns. In the Walking Dead, people often need to be taught how to use a gun. In Greece, military training is obligatory for men and a quite significant number of women join voluntarily. That means that the great majority of men have fired guns, cleaned them, taught about gun safety and battle tactics, disabled landmines and probably even used grenades.

The fact that guns are illegal does not mean it's hard to find guns in case of a zombie apocalypse. We still have police stations, army camps and hunting supplies stores. Besides that, some regions in Greece (like Crete and Zante) have such a tradition of owning guns that the law can't touch them. We're talking mostly shotguns that are used for protection, vendettas, mafia dealings and just randomly firing in weddings and religious holidays.

Guns are overrated. If I'm sitting in my balcony, in my house where the zombies can never enter, I can easily make bows, arrows, spears and traps to eliminate them gradually. A gun is useless to me if I don't go out much.
You might say, "Well underground, what if an actual living person attacks you? What then? Huh?" Well. That person most probably won't have a gun either. Making it even safer for me.

No matter what Hollywood wants you to think, strategic moves, plans and traps are more effective when dealing with great hordes of mindless creatures than guns are.
I think Consider


So. How 'bout that? Smile

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-Guybrush Threepwood-
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04-12-2015, 04:32 AM
RE: Zombie Apocalypse: A case for Greece
Holy shit! You should write a book.

BTW I just returned from my favourite Greek restaurant. I had wonderful grilled Aussie snapper done Greek style!!!! With Greek live music.

Viva la Greece! Big Grin

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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04-12-2015, 05:06 AM
RE: Zombie Apocalypse: A case for Greece
In Africa, we eat the zombies.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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04-12-2015, 05:32 AM
RE: Zombie Apocalypse: A case for Greece
(04-12-2015 05:06 AM)morondog Wrote:  In Africa, we eat the zombies.

No

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04-12-2015, 05:44 AM
RE: Zombie Apocalypse: A case for Greece
With all the guns in the US - a zombie apocalypse would last about 15 minutes.

In some of the rural areas, they'd want the Department of Natural Resources to put zombies on the endangered species list, to insure a supply of them to hunt.

.....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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04-12-2015, 05:53 AM
RE: Zombie Apocalypse: A case for Greece
(04-12-2015 05:44 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  With all the guns in the US - a zombie apocalypse would last about 15 minutes.

In some of the rural areas, they'd want the Department of Natural Resources to put zombies on the endangered species list, to insure a supply of them to hunt.

.....

LOL!

Big GrinBig GrinBig Grin

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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04-12-2015, 05:56 AM
RE: Zombie Apocalypse: A case for Greece
(04-12-2015 05:44 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  With all the guns in the US - a zombie apocalypse would last about 15 minutes.

In some of the rural areas, they'd want the Department of Natural Resources to put zombies on the endangered species list, to insure a supply of them to hunt.

.....

That requires

1) Everyone immediately knowing what's happening and that this thing that's running there is dead and is going to kill you and turn you into a zombie

2) Realizing that you need to shoot that thing in the head to kill it

3) Being willing and prepared to shoot your wife/kids/parents/friends

A combination of the above resulted in the rapid spread of zombie-disease. I guess.

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04-12-2015, 06:03 AM
RE: Zombie Apocalypse: A case for Greece
(04-12-2015 05:56 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  
(04-12-2015 05:44 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  With all the guns in the US - a zombie apocalypse would last about 15 minutes.

In some of the rural areas, they'd want the Department of Natural Resources to put zombies on the endangered species list, to insure a supply of them to hunt.

.....

That requires

1) Everyone immediately knowing what's happening and that this thing that's running there is dead and is going to kill you and turn you into a zombie

2) Realizing that you need to shoot that thing in the head to kill it

3) Being willing and prepared to shoot your wife/kids/parents/friends

A combination of the above resulted in the rapid spread of zombie-disease. I guess.


I think it already happened over there. Zombies and vampires. And they have military bases all over the world. Have you seen the size of the one in the Balkans???

They're planning something. And it ain't good. Wink

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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04-12-2015, 06:08 AM
RE: Zombie Apocalypse: A case for Greece
(04-12-2015 05:56 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  
(04-12-2015 05:44 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  With all the guns in the US - a zombie apocalypse would last about 15 minutes.

In some of the rural areas, they'd want the Department of Natural Resources to put zombies on the endangered species list, to insure a supply of them to hunt.

.....

That requires

1) Everyone immediately knowing what's happening and that this thing that's running there is dead and is going to kill you and turn you into a zombie

2) Realizing that you need to shoot that thing in the head to kill it

3) Being willing and prepared to shoot your wife/kids/parents/friends

A combination of the above resulted in the rapid spread of zombie-disease. I guess.

You've never experienced the synchronized outpouring of gunfire on opening day of deer season... People around here look forward to it all year....

You need to see "Escanaba In Da Moonlight".. (an odd comedy about Michigan's Upper Peninsula)

"Opening day is like Christmas - with guns"........

A zombie apocalypse would be even better....

Big Grin

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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04-12-2015, 07:18 AM
RE: Zombie Apocalypse: A case for Greece
(04-12-2015 05:56 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  
(04-12-2015 05:44 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  With all the guns in the US - a zombie apocalypse would last about 15 minutes.

In some of the rural areas, they'd want the Department of Natural Resources to put zombies on the endangered species list, to insure a supply of them to hunt.

.....

That requires

1) Everyone immediately knowing what's happening and that this thing that's running there is dead and is going to kill you and turn you into a zombie

2) Realizing that you need to shoot that thing in the head to kill it

3) Being willing and prepared to shoot your wife/kids/parents/friends

A combination of the above resulted in the rapid spread of zombie-disease. I guess.

Sorry to ruin things for you, but this article made my playthrough of the Walking Dead Telltale Games laughable
http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-s...ickly.html

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