a little bit of situational depression but here's a sick ass update
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01-10-2016, 07:19 PM
a little bit of situational depression but here's a sick ass update
Just an update, cause I've been asked what's up here and there. It was nice speaking to some of you again! Heart

Working two jobs right now. Gamestop and CVS Pharmacies.
I love Gamestop for the people and the environment, but the company and corporate are little shits. The job is really fun, but the company can make the environment really stressful. Most of the tenured employees are very bitter about the company.
CVS is boring, but they pay really well, give me benefits, all of that stuff. The environment is slow and quiet. The work is easy.
I just started CVS but I've already made overtime. 50-60 hours a week with both jobs combined, hello arthritis, exhaustion, and bitter adulthood. I'll be an alcoholic by the holidays (hey also I'm turning 21 in march ayyyyyyyy where does the time go?)

I am more than easily making ends meet though, and I'm proud of myself for being able to take on so much and finally feel responsible for everything that is mine. Security feels nice. But the load is overwhelming sometimes. I've had several breakdowns where I consistently ask myself "Why am I here? What am I doing? What will make me happy?" and so on. I think it's just the stress, cause I know that what I'm doing now will be far different five years from now. I just need some patience and I'll get where I want to be.

I want to eventually go back to school. I'd have to drop a job but I think I could work full time/go to school part time. Deciding between engineering or hair dressing. Cause I like fixing and building shit, but I also think hair stuff is cool as shit.

I'm maintaining a nice relationship with my family. I am honest, but I don't get too close. It sucks that I acknowledge some distance is needed, but well, for those of you that remember, I definitely learned my lesson, and the distance is needed. Don't let people have too much power or control over you. Because not everyone can be trusted completely. Not friends, not family.

As for friends, I can hardly name any of my old friends that I still socialize with. Ended a relationship of a year and he decided to date my high school best friend/roommate. That was a really nasty situation, but I feel that I handled it really well, even though I was in a lot of pain. I returned all of their things cordially. I tried to be that respectful individual that let's things go with no hard feelings. I was successful, but I won't say I was positive throughout all of it. I had some petty thoughts here and there, but I never acted on them.

I know I haven't always been a great person. In fact, I've hurt a lot of people. However, I feel like I'm becoming a better person. I feel like I'm able to handle my emotions in a healthier manner. I think that change and growth were needed. My social life is smaller, but it feels nice. Mostly people I play league with or coworkers. I feel like I have a lot less to worry about in comparison to the past.

Working on saving up munnies and possibly trying to move out by next year! I am confident I can do this. I had a late start and dicked around for a bit before I actually got on my feet, but finally being able to take care of myself feels great.

I am content. So close to happy, we'll get there one day.
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01-10-2016, 07:26 PM
RE: a little bit of situational depression but here's a sick ass update
(01-10-2016 07:19 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  Just an update, cause I've been asked what's up here and there. It was nice speaking to some of you again! Heart

Working two jobs right now. Gamestop and CVS Pharmacies.
I love Gamestop for the people and the environment, but the company and corporate are little shits. The job is really fun, but the company can make the environment really stressful. Most of the tenured employees are very bitter about the company.
CVS is boring, but they pay really well, give me benefits, all of that stuff. The environment is slow and quiet. The work is easy.
I just started CVS but I've already made overtime. 50-60 hours a week with both jobs combined, hello arthritis, exhaustion, and bitter adulthood. I'll be an alcoholic by the holidays (hey also I'm turning 21 in march ayyyyyyyy where does the time go?)

I am more than easily making ends meet though, and I'm proud of myself for being able to take on so much and finally feel responsible for everything that is mine. Security feels nice. But the load is overwhelming sometimes. I've had several breakdowns where I consistently ask myself "Why am I here? What am I doing? What will make me happy?" and so on. I think it's just the stress, cause I know that what I'm doing now will be far different five years from now. I just need some patience and I'll get where I want to be.

I want to eventually go back to school. I'd have to drop a job but I think I could work full time/go to school part time. Deciding between engineering or hair dressing. Cause I like fixing and building shit, but I also think hair stuff is cool as shit.

I'm maintaining a nice relationship with my family. I am honest, but I don't get too close. It sucks that I acknowledge some distance is needed, but well, for those of you that remember, I definitely learned my lesson, and the distance is needed. Don't let people have too much power or control over you. Because not everyone can be trusted completely. Not friends, not family.

As for friends, I can hardly name any of my old friends that I still socialize with. Ended a relationship of a year and he decided to date my high school best friend/roommate. That was a really nasty situation, but I feel that I handled it really well, even though I was in a lot of pain. I returned all of their things cordially. I tried to be that respectful individual that let's things go with no hard feelings. I was successful, but I won't say I was positive throughout all of it. I had some petty thoughts here and there, but I never acted on them.

I know I haven't always been a great person. In fact, I've hurt a lot of people. However, I feel like I'm becoming a better person. I feel like I'm able to handle my emotions in a healthier manner. I think that change and growth were needed. My social life is smaller, but it feels nice. Mostly people I play league with or coworkers. I feel like I have a lot less to worry about in comparison to the past.

Working on saving up munnies and possibly trying to move out by next year! I am confident I can do this. I had a late start and dicked around for a bit before I actually got on my feet, but finally being able to take care of myself feels great.

I am content. So close to happy, we'll get there one day.

That sounds very cool, and I like that you have a plan to get where you want to be. That's the best way to spend those years - they are an investment in yourself.

Thumbsup

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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01-10-2016, 09:21 PM
RE: a little bit of situational depression but here's a sick ass update
Nice to see you around again, Ferdi. Best of luck to you. Big Grin Hug

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01-10-2016, 09:38 PM
RE: a little bit of situational depression but here's a sick ass update
What a difference in your tone and outlook, night and day. I’m really happy for you. Yes

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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01-10-2016, 09:39 PM
RE: a little bit of situational depression but here's a sick ass update
I was so excited to see you posting here again and liking something on my FB page. Finally I was able to exhale since I hadn't heard from you in such a long time.

You are doing great!!!! Good job! You have already moved yourself up from where you were a couple years ago. You can just keep going onward and upward.

As for the stresses of being a responsible adult...welcome to the real world. Big Grin

You know there are people here for you and you know where to find me.

Lots of hugs and love and I am smiling a big, proud momma grin. I knew you could do it...you just had to find it out for yourself. Smile

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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