advice how can you ask a religious person if they are gay and should you???
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30-07-2016, 06:23 PM
advice how can you ask a religious person if they are gay and should you???
Ok long story so bear with me. My oldest friend is a deeply devout Catholic, she has recently become engaged to guy from her church, been with him for 3 years with no sex coz of the stupid taboo, only met him a few times great person but the more I spend time with him the more my "gaydar" is going off. They way he talks acts it is just in anyone else is would be obvious. Checked with another open minded friend of ours and she is getting the same vibe and she has the most accurate track record. He is deeply devout too. I really don't think he would even consider the possibility to himself due to the completely close minded and reinforced culture he has been brought up in. They are great together but the stuff they do they could just be best friends. I'm truly worried they are headed for heartbreak and a world of pain. If I say anything they will hate me but an I a terrible person if I sit by n watch this potential train wreck happen? I'm meant to be a bridesmaid for shits sake. Different views will be welcome. At the end of the day I care about both of them and I hope I'm wrong but what if I'm not and I could have helped by saying something????

My tolerance done not extend to your intolerance Angel
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30-07-2016, 06:46 PM
RE: advice how can you ask a religious person if they are gay and should you???
I've personally seen "devout" xtians who were so deep in the closet - they reeked of mothballs........................

Rule of thumb -- if somebody says they're not having sex - because "It goes against Gawd" -- they're sticking their naughty bits into some very odd places...................

....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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30-07-2016, 06:48 PM
RE: advice how can you ask a religious person if they are gay and should you???
(30-07-2016 06:23 PM)no_s_sherlock Wrote:  Ok long story so bear with me. My oldest friend is a deeply devout Catholic, she has recently become engaged to guy from her church, been with him for 3 years with no sex coz of the stupid taboo, only met him a few times great person but the more I spend time with him the more my "gaydar" is going off. They way he talks acts it is just in anyone else is would be obvious. Checked with another open minded friend of ours and she is getting the same vibe and she has the most accurate track record. He is deeply devout too. I really don't think he would even consider the possibility to himself due to the completely close minded and reinforced culture he has been brought up in. They are great together but the stuff they do they could just be best friends. I'm truly worried they are headed for heartbreak and a world of pain. If I say anything they will hate me but an I a terrible person if I sit by n watch this potential train wreck happen? I'm meant to be a bridesmaid for shits sake. Different views will be welcome. At the end of the day I care about both of them and I hope I'm wrong but what if I'm not and I could have helped by saying something????

No, asking him outright would not be a good move. There are those who never realize they are gay until it comes time to actually do it or not. A brother of mine never realized he was gay until after marrying and not being able to perform for his bride. After 90 days of drought she brought it to a head (so to speak) and she left him, he checked into a mental hospital temporarily and that is when it became real to him that he was gay. My wife had made that assumption a couple of years before, and I just laughed at her. What would the solution be? I have no idea, but if he doesn't even know himself he would be offended and you'd probably lose a friend or 2 and when it did come out that he is gay you may well be blamed by his bride if no one else!
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30-07-2016, 06:51 PM
RE: advice how can you ask a religious person if they are gay and should you???
(30-07-2016 06:23 PM)no_s_sherlock Wrote:  Ok long story so bear with me. My oldest friend is a deeply devout Catholic, she has recently become engaged to guy from her church, been with him for 3 years with no sex coz of the stupid taboo, only met him a few times great person but the more I spend time with him the more my "gaydar" is going off. They way he talks acts it is just in anyone else is would be obvious. Checked with another open minded friend of ours and she is getting the same vibe and she has the most accurate track record. He is deeply devout too. I really don't think he would even consider the possibility to himself due to the completely close minded and reinforced culture he has been brought up in. They are great together but the stuff they do they could just be best friends. I'm truly worried they are headed for heartbreak and a world of pain. If I say anything they will hate me but an I a terrible person if I sit by n watch this potential train wreck happen? I'm meant to be a bridesmaid for shits sake. Different views will be welcome. At the end of the day I care about both of them and I hope I'm wrong but what if I'm not and I could have helped by saying something????

I think your only choice is to sit back and watch events unfold. People have to live their own lives and make their own mistakes. Just be there when they fall.

The way life plays out, you'll have enough problems of your own to worry about anyway.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
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30-07-2016, 06:54 PM
RE: advice how can you ask a religious person if they are gay and should you???
(30-07-2016 06:23 PM)no_s_sherlock Wrote:  Ok long story so bear with me. My oldest friend is a deeply devout Catholic, she has recently become engaged to guy from her church, been with him for 3 years with no sex coz of the stupid taboo, only met him a few times great person but the more I spend time with him the more my "gaydar" is going off. They way he talks acts it is just in anyone else is would be obvious. Checked with another open minded friend of ours and she is getting the same vibe and she has the most accurate track record. He is deeply devout too. I really don't think he would even consider the possibility to himself due to the completely close minded and reinforced culture he has been brought up in. They are great together but the stuff they do they could just be best friends. I'm truly worried they are headed for heartbreak and a world of pain. If I say anything they will hate me but an I a terrible person if I sit by n watch this potential train wreck happen? I'm meant to be a bridesmaid for shits sake. Different views will be welcome. At the end of the day I care about both of them and I hope I'm wrong but what if I'm not and I could have helped by saying something????

Have you considered talking to her about it?

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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31-07-2016, 02:50 PM
RE: advice how can you ask a religious person if they are gay and should you???
(30-07-2016 06:51 PM)Banjo Wrote:  I think your only choice is to sit back and watch events unfold. People have to live their own lives and make their own mistakes. Just be there when they fall.

The way life plays out, you'll have enough problems of your own to worry about anyway.

+1 from me.

D.
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