#alternativefacts
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24-01-2017, 06:15 PM
RE: #alternativefacts
(24-01-2017 05:36 PM)Vera Wrote:  PS. If Full Circle starts scolding us, in his new capacity of assistant chief whip, or whatever it’s called, I’d like to point out that it was Girly who started talking about slightly weird bread spreads Angel

I think someone needs wants a spanking. Consider

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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24-01-2017, 06:36 PM
RE: #alternativefacts
His ghostwriter observed him over weeks, making phone calls, talking deals, negotiating.

Direct quite:
“Lying is second nature to him,” Schwartz said. “More than anyone else I have ever met, Trump has the ability to convince himself that whatever he is saying at any given moment is true, or sort of true, or at least ought to be true.”

You all should really read this article.
This is a man who spent uncensored amounts of time observing this man.

http://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2016/0...-tells-all

"If you don't have a seat at the table, you're probably on the menu."

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24-01-2017, 06:41 PM
RE: #alternativefacts
(24-01-2017 06:15 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  I think someone needs wants a spanking. Consider

You know what I do for a living - you don't scare me! Drinking Beverage

Actually, we weren't derailing, we were having an alternative ontopic discussion Smartass

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Also, this: George Orwell's classic dystopian tale of a society in which facts are distorted and suppressed in a cloud of "newspeak" was in the top 5 on Amazon.com as of midday Tuesday. Good!

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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25-01-2017, 11:46 AM
RE: #alternativefacts
Honestly, I still don't get twitter (a soapbox which only allows you to speak in bite-sized chunks. WTF?!), but ever since Brexit, it's been the most hilarious place and great help in handling all this crap. Check out #seanspicerafilm

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Honey, I Shrunk the Crowds
Crouching liar, hidden taxes.
Brokefact mountain
So I Married a Facts Murderer
A Man for All Treasons
Lie Hard with a Vengeance
False Encounters of the Turd Kind
He's Just Not That Into True

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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27-01-2017, 04:48 AM
RE: #alternativefacts
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Female Legislators Unveil ‘Male Ejaculation Bill’ Forbidding The Disposal Of Unused Semen

WASHINGTON, DC (By J. McConkey)—A group of leading female legislators have enacted a new bill that forbids American men from disposing of “unused” sperm, requiring them to bring any recreational semen to a nearby fertility clinic.

According to noted alternative facts specialist, Stephanie Yorke, sperm is intended for “procreation only” and not to be “wasted” on pleasure:
“Any sperm not being used for the purpose of procreation must be immediately donated to a sperm bank,” Yorke warned. “Failure to do so will lead to hefty fines and ultimately, incarceration, under the new ‘Level Playing Field Bill’.

In response, leading male medical academics have raised concerns that refraining from masturbation would be hazardous to men’s testicular health, increasing their chances of prostate cancer.

Dr. David Ambrose hit out at the bill, claiming it put American men in the very difficult position of having to father and immediately surrender a child, everytime they ejaculate. He claims this will have very negative effects on men’s long-term mental health.

“Basically, men have been put in a position of having to choose between their health and enjoyment and having to give away their child if they’re not having sex for procreation,” Dr. Ambrose said.

“It’s deeply disturbing and quite invasive to the most personal part of a man’s life,” he added. “Not only that, but if they don’t have a safe or legal way to dispose of the semen, they may resort to more harmful and unhygienic ways of getting rid of it.”


One 15 year old boy in Ohio, with severe pelvic and testicular congestion which if untreated could prove fatal, has begged doctors to allow him to ejaculate and dispose of his secretions without having to donate his sperm. His physician, Dr. Sheila Burton, has repeatedly explained to the boy that his unconceived child is more important than his own life, and he must either endure the pain or face giving away his unborn child.

When asked why women in government had the right to make this decision on behalf of men or why the government should be regulating men’s reproductive rights at all, the female officials replied, “sorry, it came from above”.

“Men exist to produce babies. If they want to experience pleasure, they’ll just have to endure the consequences. We wish there was another way, we truly do, but our hands are tied. God wants what she wants.”

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderò."
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27-01-2017, 06:16 AM (This post was last modified: 27-01-2017 06:21 AM by RocketSurgeon76.)
RE: #alternativefacts
**Thankfully, an empassioned filibuster by three of the 21 male members of the Senate resulted in a last-minute rider being added to the bill, allowing an exception for involuntary, nocturnal emissions.

**Edit with Breaking News: Senator Susan Tifftiller (R-Ga) was quoted as saying, "As a devout Christian and medical doctor, I know that those men do not need that exception to the bill. If they were truly thinking proper thoughts, then their bodies would have ways of shutting that whole thing down." The AP called for further comment, but has been unable to reach the Senator or her staff, as of press time.

"Theology made no provision for evolution. The biblical authors had missed the most important revelation of all! Could it be that they were not really privy to the thoughts of God?" - E. O. Wilson
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27-01-2017, 06:49 AM
RE: #alternativefacts
In other news, President Trump thinks that "standard deviation" is a new form of tax deduction implemented by the Obama administration.

#BasicStatisticsEducationForMrPOTUS
#PleaseHelpHim

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27-01-2017, 06:54 AM
RE: #alternativefacts
When presented with a diagram of a confidence interval on a probability distribution curve, the President then began making lewd gestures and remarks such as "That's a really nice curve," and "I should show this to Melania. She might get some good ideas from this."

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27-01-2017, 07:03 AM (This post was last modified: 27-01-2017 07:21 AM by cactus.)
RE: #alternativefacts
"Sampling bias? They have the BEST sampling bias. I have all the best guys, all of them. They are making their bias so sampled right now, I can assure you. They asked me how I got such a good sampling bias, and I said 'I know the right people.' This is how I get things done. This is just how we win. It just is. Let me tell you, Al Quaeda, ISIS, Boko Haram... They will notice."

Mr President, my original question was about climate research funding.

"Yes, China will notice, too. I almost forgot about them. They're so easy to overlook, because they're so short. Their short, stubby legs, you know. Sad. Communism will do that to you."

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27-01-2017, 10:49 AM
RE: #alternativefacts
(27-01-2017 07:03 AM)cactus Wrote:  ...
"Yes, China will notice, too. I almost forgot about them. They're so easy to overlook, because they're so short. Their short, stubby legs, you know. Sad. Communism will do that to you."

I can actually see the chump saying this, in my mind's eye.
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