and another one down....
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06-03-2015, 07:19 PM
RE: and another one down....
(06-03-2015 06:32 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  That is very good Dom. Thanks. I liked it a lot. Thumbsup

(06-03-2015 04:34 AM)Dom Wrote:  Maybe it is not so much that older people lose touch with reality - maybe it is that reality disappears along with the people who shared it with you. It's all in my head now, and no one will ever really understand what it was really like.

Think maybe it always was.

(06-03-2015 04:34 AM)Dom Wrote:  What once was your reality is now but a dream. A memory no one shares.

Think maybe it always was.

(06-03-2015 04:34 AM)Dom Wrote:  Seems like life shrinks as you get older - not just what you have left in front of you, but also what's behind you. More and more you live in the present, no more long term plans, and no more shared fond memories.

It becomes immediate. It always should have been immediate.




There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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06-03-2015, 07:40 PM
RE: and another one down....
(06-03-2015 04:34 AM)Dom Wrote:  I found out another one of my good friends died about a month ago. Our lives had taken separate directions a couple of decades ago, but we had stayed in touch periodically. We would go for a year or two and then one or the other would make contact and we would catch up on everything that happened in the meantime and what we thought of it.

Jerry was the kind of person you could share anything with and who would share anything with you. Being with Jerry was always relaxing and comfortable.

So, I am not grieving in the sense that everything I do reminds me of him, but I do feel a strong loss. Thing is, he was the only person I know of who was still alive and knew me well in my 20s. What that means is that now my life sort of starts at around 30 - the life that anyone alive shared with me. Life before 30 might as well be a figment of my imagination - my memories are strong but there are no more witnesses.

Maybe it is not so much that older people lose touch with reality - maybe it is that reality disappears along with the people who shared it with you. It's all in my head now, and no one will ever really understand what it was really like. And so you turn into an older person who revels in recalling things that no one but them has seen - no one still alive that is.

This is a part of life that no one is ever ready for. And it is not talked about, either. Too emotional. Not something people want to think about. So, you don't think about it, and bam, one day it hits you in the face. What once was your reality is now but a dream. A memory no one shares.

So, when Jerry died, another segment of my life went with him. Seems like life shrinks as you get older - not just what you have left in front of you, but also what's behind you. More and more you live in the present, no more long term plans, and no more shared fond memories.

This is in the support section but I am not really looking for support or condolences, just musings about life.

Sorry you are sad, Dom. Hug
I disagree though. YOU have *you* since birth, and everything that ever happened to you .. it not real just because someone else knows about it. I was actually thinking about this very thing, driving an hour ago. As much as I miss my granny, all those birthdays, and sleep-overs, and trips, everything they ever did for me is alive in me as MY legacy from them. Forever.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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06-03-2015, 07:54 PM
RE: and another one down....
(06-03-2015 06:32 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  That is very good Dom. Thanks. I liked it a lot. Thumbsup

(06-03-2015 04:34 AM)Dom Wrote:  Maybe it is not so much that older people lose touch with reality - maybe it is that reality disappears along with the people who shared it with you. It's all in my head now, and no one will ever really understand what it was really like.

Think maybe it always was.

(06-03-2015 04:34 AM)Dom Wrote:  What once was your reality is now but a dream. A memory no one shares.

Think maybe it always was.

(06-03-2015 04:34 AM)Dom Wrote:  Seems like life shrinks as you get older - not just what you have left in front of you, but also what's behind you. More and more you live in the present, no more long term plans, and no more shared fond memories.

It becomes immediate. It always should have been immediate.

I knew you'd ground my quote with the song. Tongue

Immediate is good, but long term planning can be such fun. You can let your imagination go wild and then figure out how you are going to make it happen. That has always been one of my favorite things - I guess that is why I became an entrepreneur.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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06-03-2015, 08:04 PM
RE: and another one down....
(06-03-2015 07:40 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Sorry you are sad, Dom. Hug
I disagree though. YOU have *you* since birth, and everything that ever happened to you .. it not real just because someone else knows about it. I was actually thinking about this very thing, driving an hour ago. As much as I miss my granny, all those birthdays, and sleep-overs, and trips, everything they ever did for me is alive in me as MY legacy from them. Forever.

When there are no more people to talk about a time period with, you stop learning from it. You can only remember your own perception - which is bound to be distorted, and the longer ago it was, the more distorted it becomes. That doesn't mean the memories don't have meaning, but they are a poor substitute for having a conversation with someone.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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06-03-2015, 08:11 PM
RE: and another one down....
(06-03-2015 08:04 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(06-03-2015 07:40 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Sorry you are sad, Dom. Hug
I disagree though. YOU have *you* since birth, and everything that ever happened to you .. it not real just because someone else knows about it. I was actually thinking about this very thing, driving an hour ago. As much as I miss my granny, all those birthdays, and sleep-overs, and trips, everything they ever did for me is alive in me as MY legacy from them. Forever.

When there are no more people to talk about a time period with, you stop learning from it. You can only remember your own perception - which is bound to be distorted, and the longer ago it was, the more distorted it becomes. That doesn't mean the memories don't have meaning, but they are a poor substitute for having a conversation with someone.

There is something very special about being able to have a conversation with someone that you share a past with. You don't have to explain the background. It's quite a loss when a person you shared time and experiences with is no longer here. Hugs.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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06-03-2015, 08:13 PM
RE: and another one down....
(06-03-2015 07:54 PM)Dom Wrote:  Immediate is good, but long term planning can be such fun. You can let your imagination go wild and then figure out how you are going to make it happen. That has always been one of my favorite things - I guess that is why I became an entrepreneur.

I'm far too impatient to be an entrepreneur. That's why I became a programmer.

There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. -Camus
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07-03-2015, 03:27 AM
RE: and another one down....
(06-03-2015 08:13 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(06-03-2015 07:54 PM)Dom Wrote:  Immediate is good, but long term planning can be such fun. You can let your imagination go wild and then figure out how you are going to make it happen. That has always been one of my favorite things - I guess that is why I became an entrepreneur.

I'm far too impatient to be an entrepreneur. That's why I became a programmer.

I am far too impatient to be a programmer. That's why I became an entrepreneur. Tongue

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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07-03-2015, 04:33 AM
RE: and another one down....
(06-03-2015 07:40 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Sorry you are sad, Dom. Hug
I disagree though. YOU have *you* since birth, and everything that ever happened to you .. it not real just because someone else knows about it. I was actually thinking about this very thing, driving an hour ago. As much as I miss my granny, all those birthdays, and sleep-overs, and trips, everything they ever did for me is alive in me as MY legacy from them. Forever.

I put some more thought into this. What you say is true, but here is the catch: Once everyone who remembers your granny is dead, your experiences with her will move to a different dimension.

It's hard to explain this, but your mind does keep probing and fact checking on all your experiences and integrating new realizations into your frame of reference. You see the meaning of things differently when you are 12 years old than you will at any other stage of life. When fact checking becomes impossible, the experiences are somehow moved to the inactive file. Still accessible, but selective memory takes over big time and only the things that made a big impression remain.

The world moves on all the time, imperceptibly almost in day to day life, but over the course of a couple decades everything will have changed. Your frame of reference will have changed. You will not be the same person.

One way to travel back in time is music. I think music is one of the things that has some sort of power to transport you back in time and recall things. Because of this music is used a lot in therapy - like for Alzheimer or brain injuries, it is used to access forgotten files in your brain. Used to be not long ago that you had to attend a performance by a musician to hear music, or make it yourself. Now we can have a small unit in our pocket that recalls and plays any music we want for us. Music and pictures are your bridge to previous realities even when there are no more witnesses. This changes the experience of aging immensely. Makes me wonder whether this will affect human intelligence in the future - the ability to recall past realities at will to integrate these experiences further.

But I ramble...

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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07-03-2015, 04:36 AM (This post was last modified: 07-03-2015 04:45 AM by Dom.)
RE: and another one down....







I closed my eyes, only for a moment and the moment's gone
All my dreams, pass before my eyes a curiosity
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind
Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind

Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind, everything is dust in the wind

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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07-03-2015, 11:10 AM
RE: and another one down....
(07-03-2015 04:36 AM)Dom Wrote:  






I closed my eyes, only for a moment and the moment's gone
All my dreams, pass before my eyes a curiosity
Dust in the wind, all they are is dust in the wind
Same old song, just a drop of water in an endless sea
All we do, crumbles to the ground though we refuse to see
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind

Don't hang on, nothing lasts forever but the earth and sky
It slips away, all your money won't another minute buy
Dust in the wind, all we are is dust in the wind
Dust in the wind, everything is dust in the wind

I've always liked this.

“What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind;
In the primal sympathy
Which having been must ever be;
In the soothing thoughts that spring
Out of human suffering;
In the faith that looks through death,
In years that bring the philosophic mind.”


― William Wordsworth

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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