animals on the ark
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
06-05-2016, 08:46 PM
RE: animals on the ark
(06-05-2016 07:35 PM)Paleophyte Wrote:  
(06-05-2016 07:03 PM)Clockwork Wrote:  I was told God magically made them docile vegetarians while on the Ark. I wish I made that up. And Alla's claim that Gods can give orders to intelligent beings? When I lived in Nova Scotia, I lived on a cattle farm. Cattle are stupid. When it rains, they'll look up to figure out where the water is coming from, blow the water out as it fills their nostrils, and repeat. They never learn. Now unless they're cleaning out snot and boogers the whole time it rains (doubtful), I don't think they qualify as intelligent.

Grandfather had a farm and cattle are relatively intelligent. I'm not saying that you're wrong I'm saying that most of the other barnyard animals are even thicker. Sheep are just bright enough to sneak up on grass and not mate with rocks too often. And chickens make sheep look bloody brilliant. Anything that keeps walking about for several minutes after decapitation simply doesn't have that much in its skull to start with.
You are quite correct. Chickens are not only thicker, they're meaner. Never had a problem eating those bastards. I could walk up to all cattle (even the meanest bull because he liked children), but chickens? Fuckers.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-05-2016, 09:23 PM
RE: animals on the ark
(06-05-2016 01:10 AM)Shadow Fox Wrote:  ... Why is there only one Grand canyon in the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD?! ...

Good point. The flood's true location was elsewhere and guys like Ham have built their replicas in the wrong spot.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Airportkid's post
06-05-2016, 10:00 PM
RE: animals on the ark
I'm surprised nobody has mentioned yet about the part where God complicates things even more by telling Noah to take 7 of some of the animals and 2 of the rest. It was too easy to bring 2 of everything, now we need an extra 5 of all the birds and "clean animals".
Also, in looking over that passage it says "in sevens, the male and his female". Uhh...seven isn't divisible by two, God. Do you want more males or females?
None of this matters really, since the story is so ridiculous already. It's just interesting that another detail was put in, just to make everything even less clear.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
06-05-2016, 10:01 PM (This post was last modified: 06-05-2016 10:04 PM by Fireball.)
RE: animals on the ark
(06-05-2016 08:46 PM)Clockwork Wrote:  
(06-05-2016 07:35 PM)Paleophyte Wrote:  Grandfather had a farm and cattle are relatively intelligent. I'm not saying that you're wrong I'm saying that most of the other barnyard animals are even thicker. Sheep are just bright enough to sneak up on grass and not mate with rocks too often. And chickens make sheep look bloody brilliant. Anything that keeps walking about for several minutes after decapitation simply doesn't have that much in its skull to start with.
You are quite correct. Chickens are not only thicker, they're meaner. Never had a problem eating those bastards. I could walk up to all cattle (even the meanest bull because he liked children), but chickens? Fuckers.

Yup. They will jump up and peck you in the shiny spots- the eyes. My FIL was a combat medic in WW2, but when my wife was a little girl of 7 and went out to collect eggs from their Banty hen and got pecked in the face next to her eye, that was the end of that chicken. My FIL was beside himself over it at the time. I guess his little girl getting nearly blinded in one eye was a a far cry from his combat experience. I personally would not send a 7-year old out to collect eggs, though.

BOT, the Noah's Ark story is so fucking stupid that it is difficult to believe that people believe it. But then, there is plenty of stupid going around these days. It may well be contagious, given its prevalence.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Fireball's post
07-05-2016, 05:18 AM
RE: animals on the ark
my sister has a couple pet chickens. if treated well theyre actually pretty cool. they never attack anyone and act very similar to dogs.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Dark Wanderer's post
07-05-2016, 05:28 AM
RE: animals on the ark
(06-05-2016 09:23 PM)Airportkid Wrote:  
(06-05-2016 01:10 AM)Shadow Fox Wrote:  ... Why is there only one Grand canyon in the ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD?! ...

Good point. The flood's true location was elsewhere and guys like Ham have built their replicas in the wrong spot.

And one side of the canyon is a few hundred feet higher than the other, so you couldn't have erosion being the agent for digging the canyon.

I once saw a video of a guy using a garden hose on dirt to prove the flood waters really did carve up all that hard rock. Loved it.
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-05-2016, 09:16 AM
RE: animals on the ark
(07-05-2016 05:28 AM)Gawdzilla Wrote:  I once saw a video of a guy using a garden hose on dirt to prove the flood waters really did carve up all that hard rock. Loved it.
Yeah, I remember that one.
Because average dirt in population areas is exactly the same as granite.... Tongue

[Image: fdyq20.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-05-2016, 09:50 AM
RE: animals on the ark
(06-05-2016 10:00 PM)debna27 Wrote:  I'm surprised nobody has mentioned yet about the part where God complicates things even more by telling Noah to take 7 of some of the animals and 2 of the rest. It was too easy to bring 2 of everything, now we need an extra 5 of all the birds and "clean animals".
Also, in looking over that passage it says "in sevens, the male and his female". Uhh...seven isn't divisible by two, God. Do you want more males or females?
None of this matters really, since the story is so ridiculous already. It's just interesting that another detail was put in, just to make everything even less clear.

Honestly, that's one of the less ridiculous parts. It could be pairs or seven of each sex.

It comes from having multiple writers. The earlier writers (Yahwist) had a thing for sevens. The later writers (Priestly) were slightly more pragmatic. You can sometimes pick out which ones have written which bits by the writing style, even post-translation.

The Yahwist sources referred to god as Yahew, aka G*d! He whose name shall not be spoken lest ye be struck dead. That typically translates to "The LORD God" (yes, in caps) and shows up prominently in the Genesis 2-3 Creation/Fall story and in the Genesis 7:1 passage where there are seven of each animal boarding the ark.

The Priestly sources referred to god as Elohim, which is a less formal title. It usually gets translated simply as "God" and shows up a lot in Genesis 1 and the Genesis 6:19 account that has two of each critter boarding the ark.

Fun fact: The Yahwist sources are the older ones, the Priestly sources more recent. That means that there are two different Creation stories in Genesis and that the first one is a newer addition.

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Paleophyte's post
07-05-2016, 10:30 AM
RE: animals on the ark
I'm guessing Noah was immune to the bite of my favourite snake the black mamba. Laugh out load
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
07-05-2016, 12:20 PM
RE: animals on the ark
My kids and found this on you tube a few years ago and laughed our asses off!








A friend in the hole

"If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for what we really are." - Captain Picard
6
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes unsapien's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: