athiest dating woes
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
31-07-2013, 01:48 PM
Exclamation athiest dating woes
Hello allSmile,

First of all for give me in advanced I am sure this topic has been discussed on this site many times (I would assume). However, I am new and want to share my own dating issues due to my "non faith". Undecided As well as hear yours.

I was on a date couple weekends ago with a guy my friend set me up with. All she told me was his age and showed me a picture of him. We met at the movies and afterwards went to Fridays to sit down talk & eat. I was excited at this point because I thought wow hes tall, attractive, fun personality for the most part but then... I thought lets cut to the chase and learn some important things about each other. I asked him "Do you to church?" he replied "No, not often, not enough. I really should go more, you got to thank the man above for all he blesses us with" I just looked at him for a second and said flatly "oh, I see". He giggled a little and said "wait, why? don't tell me you don't believe in God or something?" I said "actually you hit the nail on the head". He said "that's cool" but his body language said something entirely different. It was as if his body was trying to leave the table but he would let himself go cause that obviously be rude. Bouncing his leg up and down anxiously as he pulled out his phone and each second looked more and more distressed with being in my presence. I tired to make small talk but he had shut down. I could tell. So I said well I better be heading out, I have X-Y-and Z to do early tomorrow. We did not go on another date or have further communication thereafter. It really amazed me that my atheism could be such a deal breaker. Then I thought to myself, maybe someones religion is a deal breaker to me though? I mean I doubt I can date someone that is heavy into their religion. I think we would clash on so many aspects of our lives.
Confused

[Image: BMCz_10CEAAAG5S.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
31-07-2013, 01:50 PM
RE: athiest dating woes
I am glad I never had to worry about dating as an atheist. Trying to do so where I grew up in Tennessee, would have been a fucking nightmare, unless I was willing to hide it.

Sorry to hear.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
31-07-2013, 01:56 PM
RE: athiest dating woes
My ex boyfriend was really conflicted with his faith, at some point he dragged me to church (catholic church mind you). The sermons, the guilt trips he got into, he was great in bed at first but then he just didn't want to have sex, because it was out marriage. A gay guy telling his boyfriend he wants to stop having sex until marriage... Hobo

He got through, it lasted a few months... but the relationship was broken.

So yeah, faith or the lack thereof can be a huge deal breaker. Some couples seem to be able to make it work, so I won't say it's impossible, but is a thing to consider for sure when starting one

[Image: sigvacachica.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like nach_in's post
31-07-2013, 02:17 PM
RE: athiest dating woes
It doesn't have to be but it pretty much is... I've dated a couple Christians... it almost worked once... other times it screwed shit up pretty bad. Retrospectively I prefer to date girls who don't have religious hang-ups... I'd say you dodged a bullet. There's nothing quite like the experience of being told that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you except for the fact that you can't bring yourself to kowtow to some imaginary control freak, and therefore the relationship must end now...
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes morondog's post
31-07-2013, 02:26 PM
RE: athiest dating woes
(31-07-2013 02:17 PM)morondog Wrote:  It doesn't have to be but it pretty much is... I've dated a couple Christians... it almost worked once... other times it screwed shit up pretty bad. Retrospectively I prefer to date girls who don't have religious hang-ups... I'd say you dodged a bullet. There's nothing quite like the experience of being told that there's absolutely nothing wrong with you except for the fact that you can't bring yourself to kowtow to some imaginary control freak, and therefore the relationship must end now...

I agree. I think its good we got that out on the first date cause it obviously is something he wasn't okay with. Would be worst to start to like him down the road fall apart due to my non faith and his faith clashing. It was not a deal breaker for me at that very moment but I was not excited to find out he actually believed in God. I didn't get uncomfortable and want to end the date but he made it very clear without a word that he was already done. I was actually hoping we would get into a discussion a least lol

[Image: BMCz_10CEAAAG5S.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
31-07-2013, 02:43 PM
RE: athiest dating woes
(31-07-2013 02:26 PM)ashleypersuasion Wrote:  I was actually hoping we would get into a discussion a least lol

Wouldn't have changed the end result since he was already so against it... might have just convinced the two of you that you'd almost started dating the devil Tongue
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes morondog's post
31-07-2013, 06:40 PM
RE: athiest dating woes
When I married my husband I actually didn't know what religion he might have been, it just never came up and I assumed he was a non-practicing Christian. It came up years later in conversation and that's when we found out he thought the same about me and we were both atheist. The whole thing was a non issue in our lives.

It didn't come up again until he was on his death bed and I asked him, just in case, if he wanted to see a priest or something. That's when he went into a loooong rant about the religious people in his life and how they were phony bigots and, and, and.....

What would have happened if one of us had suddenly become religious? One can only speculate, but since our entire relationship was based on supporting each other's endeavors unconditionally, I doubt it would have mattered.

[Image: dobie.png]

Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
31-07-2013, 06:43 PM
RE: athiest dating woes
Be glad it happened now instead of later down the road.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
31-07-2013, 06:43 PM
RE: athiest dating woes
Seth has done a few podcasts regarding this topic. I will look up the names and dates of them and post it here

I don't really like going outside.
It's too damn "peopley" out there....
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: