cancer
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13-09-2012, 02:45 AM
cancer
hello.

i am not sure if my introduction post went through..i posted a second time because i couldnt tell if it worked. anyways..

my name is stephanie. became atheist about a year ago. videos from this website helped me reach reality, 2 months ago, found a lump in my right breast, got it looked at, doctor blew me off saying it was nothing but a cyst. Watched it for a month, then got an ultrasound, mammograms and a biopsy on friday. This monday at 3pm, i found out i am 23 years old and i have invasive ductal carcinoma breast cancer. I looked it up, and its the most common type of breast cancer and 80% of the time, this is the type people have.

I am not angry that i have this, and im not scared. I am however, although happy that people mean well, annoyed by the prayer emails filling up my inbox.

The only thing that i am upset, truly frustrated with, is that my mother..lobular breast cancer stage 4 survivor...who abused me verbally, emotionally, psychologically, physically and spiritually, and who doesnt know im an atheist yet, and who said that day she found out that im bisexual, that she screwed me up. Wants to desperately, to come hold my hand at my doctors apts to meet my surgeon and oncologist this friday at 9:30am in Oak Lawn, Illinois at christ hospital.

yes, she is my mother. But she doesnt know me, and years ago she said that she didnt wanna get to know me. Now, all a sudden, begging, crying, for me to let her be by my side. Been through counseling. Back in. trying to figure out how to get past trama, ptsd and let go of my past. This really is just another reason why, there is no god. because if he was willing that all these things happen to me, he is a sadist bastard prick and im not going to pray to someone like that. if there was a god, he wouldnt be like that.

my bf and me met on eharmony. He has my values and has been told today that no pastor or person is allowed to bring a bible in my room or pray with me. Only human, kind words, that dont involve god.

Went for a walk, sat in the grass while staring at the lake by my house. If there was one place in the world i could be right now. It would be on a beach in the carribean, feeling the sand and surf, and wind in my hair. I sat there thinking to myself about life, death, the serious stuff. Realized that although my mother said to me that at least i inherited her strength from her, thats a lie. I got my strength, from me. From my will to live. To question, to think, to live a better life. And nobody can take that away from me. I am not afraid of death, because death is inevitable. I am however afraid of not living my life the best i can. Other than that, i only have fear itself to fear and i will survive this and keep on living my life.

What i feel i need right now, is family. Freethinking, reason minded, family. Called freedom from religion foundation. (have read godless, god is not great and some of The end of faith). spoke to Dan Brown, who gave me hope and strength that i am not alone in this and that i need to show people how strong i am and that i am going to get through this without god. I know they are watching me. Waiting for me to break and cry out. waiting to save me from hell. i say, put all the christians in the pysch ward for their delusions while i go through this so that i can do it in as much peace as possible.

As far as im concerned. this sucks. but. I am star dust. I am made from stars and if that isnt something to be happy about, then what is? happiness isnt something to be acheived, it isnt something that you go searching for. If thats how u see it then you will never have it. Happiness is something you must decide to have. Decide to live you life to LIVE not focus on death and the afterlife. People think this is so depressing. Well i think they are depressing. I, am gonna get through this, with grace, bravery, courage, strength, faith in science, reason, and the knowledge, that i am not alone.

thinking atheist---thank you. for having the courage to do what you do, because otherwise, my life would be very different right now. i will see you at reason rally 2013, alive and well
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13-09-2012, 07:14 AM
RE: cancer
Hi Stephanie,
Welcome to the TTA family. We are glad to have you with us. Thank you for sharing your tough story with us. You sound like a very brave and level headed woman who is doing just what she needs to do in this awful time in your life. We'll be what support we can to you by listening and offering to be with you from afar as you go through your battle. Keep us posted on how you're doing.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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13-09-2012, 07:32 AM
RE: cancer
Hi Stephanie,

I came here when I was inundated with religious babble and prayer when my husband died. It is the most annoying thing to be the target of all that crap.

So I understand where you are coming from. I hope you will find this community a breath of fresh air like I did.

Re. your mom:

If you don't want to see her, don't. If you want to change your mind at any time, you can. This is all about you, not her.

[Image: dobie.png]

Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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13-09-2012, 06:29 PM
RE: cancer
Welcome Stephanie Smile

Grab a glass of whatever, sit down, take a load off and enjoy the ride.

Hint: Ignore people who don't make you feel good as it's poisonous to your well being. Be around people that make you glad you're alive. Works for me Thumbsup

Humankind Dodgy (a total misnomer)
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13-09-2012, 06:36 PM
RE: cancer
Welcome Stephanie.

I hope you are able to enjoy your time spent on the forums!

(You might just get a few lulz from the theists that drop by, oh lordy their stupid confounds.)

Well anyway, look forward to seeing you around.

The people closely associated with the namesake of female canines are suffering from a nondescript form of lunacy.
"Anti-environmentalism is like standing in front of a forest and going 'quick kill them they're coming right for us!'" - Jake Farr-Wharton, The Imaginary Friend Show.
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13-09-2012, 08:27 PM
RE: cancer
Hi Stephanie,

Nearly three year breast cancer survivor here.

I have a couple pieces of advice for you. Research, read, look up everything you don't understand and even the things you think you do. Do what's right for you. Listen to the doctors but realize that you have the ultimate say so in your care.

Also, what you need to get through this is as little "other stress" as possible. Your energy, mental and physical, needs to be focused on getting better and beating this.

Just because people are related to you doesn't mean that you will be better off with them around.

Take care of yourself! You don't owe anyone anything. Keep those that are supportive close and those that aren't away.

Keep us posted...if you have any specific questions about this journey, I will try to help guide you to the answers.

Angie

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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14-09-2012, 12:24 AM
RE: cancer
Hi StephanieA -
it's good you've found the site and have made it to the forum. What everyone else has already said is right on - we're here if you need us or if you just feel like hanging out.

Your health will be the most important focus for you at this time. Eat well, get plenty of rest, and keep stress at bay - this is a pretty good place to unload if you feel the need. Angie is probably closest to knowing the details of questions you might have concerning your condition and treatment. And I'm sure you'll never run out of serious feedback if you want it - just ask.

We have our crazy moments but it's usually fairly relaxed here. It's an international crowd and there's always a variety of interesting discussion. I hope you'll find this a good place for you to just come here and be.

Welcome to the forum. Smile

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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14-09-2012, 11:48 PM
RE: cancer
My mother is a breast cancer surviver, in fact, I know a lot of breast cancer survivors, best of luck to you! Smile

-summum ius, summa iniuria.-M. T. Cicero
-I will show you fear in a handful of dust.-T.S. Eliot
-
ἡ φύσις οὐδὲν ποιεῖ ἅλματα

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