cjlr goes to Texas
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25-12-2015, 02:55 PM
RE: cjlr goes to Texas
Everytime I been to Texaco I make sure to never step out of DFW without security.

#sigh
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07-01-2016, 02:26 PM
RE: cjlr goes to Texas
Texas: an AAR.

Observations -
1. Airport security is an idiot's idea of a bad joke.
2. The man next to me on the plane into Texas was reading a book called (and I am not making this up) God is my CEO.
3. The day we arrived was still in the middle of horrifyingly unseasonable warm weather. Back home that meant no snow. There it meant hotter and sweatier than a demon's armpit. Fortunately it didn't last.
4. Americans do not know what Boxing Day is. "It's like Black Friday, but after Christmas" mostly works to explain it. Really, at this point I'm surprised it hasn't been seized upon as another excuse for ludicrously-hyped sales events.
5. Ontario has the most inconvenient alcohol sales system of any state or province ever. If even Texas does something better, that's sad.
(look, I know these jokes are lazy and unclever, but we all know I have to make them anyway; I'm pretty sure that was a contract I signed somewhere along the way)
6. When we got to the lane where we were staying in south Austin, the neighbour had a Bernie Sanders sign out. Sanders clearly won the presidential swag census, above Clinton. I also saw a single Carson bumper sticker than I am 99% sure was ironic.
7. There were also election signs out for local offices. I am still not sure why dogcatcher, mail clerk, and crossing guard need to be elected offices. In San Antonio these skewed Democratic and in Austin they skewed extremely Democratic.
(I am exaggerating naturally, but when precinct constable is an elective office someone has gone insane)
8. Winter weather actually arrived the day after we landed. Central Texas managed to avoid the blizzards, tornadoes, and flooding that simultaneously occurred in all other directions.
9. Much fantastic food and beer was had by all.
(feel free to mentally re-insert this observation every couple points)
10. The toll road between Austin and San Antonio has a posted limit of 85 mph. That is 37% faster than highways in Ontario. My father insisted we drive on it.
11. I am now the proud owner of a tacky shot glass from the Alamo.
12. Early Texian history is fascinating but it's profoundly disturbing how "pushing out/back the Indians" is described like overcoming a natural disaster as opposed to other thinking human beings.
13. I had fun seeing the Mexican car plates around, pretty much purely for the novelty of it.
14. The State Capitol is a genuinely interesting piece of architecture. Oddly just like home in that it's right across from a giant university.
15. Along the way we also found time to see the new Star Wars. But I guess that has nothing to do with Texas.
16. American fireworks shows are an order of magnitude better than Canadian ones.
17. Apparently lots of people go swimming on New Year's day in Austin, too. But they don't even have to break through ice to do it, so it just didn't feel right.
18. Airport security is an idiot's idea of a bad joke.
19. Statewide open-carry only came into effect as we left, so everybody made it out alive.

Totally a good time. The Texas state flag is everywhere, which is interesting compared to most states, but when you actually have a good state flag as opposed to the forty-odd dogshit ugly others, I guess you've gotta flaunt it. Seeing bamboo and cactuses growing side by side surprised me.

Any questions?

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07-01-2016, 02:32 PM
RE: cjlr goes to Texas
(07-01-2016 02:26 PM)cjlr Wrote:  11. I am now the proud owner of a tacky shot glass from the Alamo.
Hey, me too Smile

You've remembered The Alamo; now it's time to forget it!

If we came from dust, then why is there still dust?
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07-01-2016, 07:25 PM
RE: cjlr goes to Texas
Why you no came to see us? Weeping

Just kidding. From what it sounds like y'all were quite busy. Glad you had a good time. Big Grin

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07-01-2016, 07:28 PM
RE: cjlr goes to Texas
Are there pictures of your trip in here somewhere?

Swing with me a while, we can listen to the birds call, we can keep each other warm.
Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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07-01-2016, 07:31 PM
RE: cjlr goes to Texas
(08-12-2015 09:43 AM)cjlr Wrote:  Somehow my family thought Texas was a good place to visit this holiday season. I, of course, was outvoted on that one. But a vacation's a vacation, so for the week starting Boxing Day, yours truly will be deep in the horror primeval that is the Lone Star State.

Any survival tips? Should I start practicing to cover up my accent? Eating 17 pounds of beef with every meal to prepare my poor GI tract? Buy as many guns as fit in my pants pockets? Remember to take the Cuban goods out of my travel bag before entering the US this time?

...

Incidentally, aren't some of you scattered around there? Let me know if you'd like to say hi, maybe we can work something out.

How's your espanol?
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07-01-2016, 07:32 PM
RE: cjlr goes to Texas
Oh, I do have some questions. Big Grin

What is something you saw or experienced in Texas that you did not expect?

Also, what did you see or experience here that was totally stereotypical of what you imagined Texas or Texans might be like? Big Grin

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07-01-2016, 07:37 PM
RE: cjlr goes to Texas
(07-01-2016 07:32 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Oh, I do have some questions. Big Grin

What is something you saw or experienced in Texas that you did not expect?

Since I've never been outside DFW my experience is holy fucking shit why is this airport so goddam big. I have to run just to catch my connecting flight which doesn't even begin boarding until 30 minutes from now. Girly does not run well.

#sigh
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07-01-2016, 07:45 PM
RE: cjlr goes to Texas
(07-01-2016 07:37 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(07-01-2016 07:32 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Oh, I do have some questions. Big Grin

What is something you saw or experienced in Texas that you did not expect?

Since I've never been outside DFW my experience is holy fucking shit why is this airport so goddam big. I have to run just to catch my connecting flight which doesn't even begin boarding until 30 minutes from now. Girly does not run well.

Everything is bigger in Texas, GirlyBob. Hobo Big Grin

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11-01-2016, 10:07 AM
RE: cjlr goes to Texas
(07-01-2016 07:25 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Why you no came to see us? Weeping

Just kidding. From what it sounds like y'all were quite busy. Glad you had a good time. Big Grin

My twenty-fifth birthday is still a few days away, and thus I was not able to legally drive a rental vehicle. As you might imagine, that made it a little harder to make a quick side-trip... But yes, we were rather busy the whole week!

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