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20-04-2017, 11:55 AM
confuised
I am writing, but not sure exactly what I an trying to say. First off, no one in my family knows I'm an atheist. Except I think my dad knows, but he is non-religious (though not an atheist). Recently I came out to my sister (who I am estranged from) and she assured me that the holy spirit is inside me. She invited me to her church and it seemed like a way to possibly heal our relationship. But I don't want to fake it just to have a relationship, that's dishonest. My brother is also a big time christian and I don't believe he would disown me if he knew. I also don't want to be in a relationship where the other person is God focused and pushy, it just doesn't work well for me. I have religious friends, but one knows I am an atheist and the other one doesn't push his views, and he's a preacher. I guess I'm looking to enlarge my atheist circle of friends and be able to talk openly about my non-belief. That's a part of the reason that I'm on this site, to meet fellow atheists and talk openly about my non-belief and how I feel about religion and religious people. I'm excited about meeting new people, but cautious, because I've been burned by people before.
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20-04-2017, 11:59 AM
RE: confuised
(20-04-2017 11:55 AM)kevin308 Wrote:   I am writing, but not sure exactly what I an trying to say. First off, no one in my family knows I'm an atheist. Except I think my dad knows, but he is non-religious (though not an atheist). Recently I came out to my sister (who I am estranged from) and she assured me that the holy spirit is inside me. She invited me to her church and it seemed like a way to possibly heal our relationship. But I don't want to fake it just to have a relationship, that's dishonest. My brother is also a big time christian and I don't believe he would disown me if he knew. I also don't want to be in a relationship where the other person is God focused and pushy, it just doesn't work well for me. I have religious friends, but one knows I am an atheist and the other one doesn't push his views, and he's a preacher. I guess I'm looking to enlarge my atheist circle of friends and be able to talk openly about my non-belief. That's a part of the reason that I'm on this site, to meet fellow atheists and talk openly about my non-belief and how I feel about religion and religious people. I'm excited about meeting new people, but cautious, because I've been burned by people before.

Aww hugs. I was like you, kept my belief or rather lack of, to myself

When I finally came out as an atheist to a few friends...one person said, "I wish you lived closer because my church is wonderful and accepts everyone, you should check it out"

They miss the point of non-belief. Dodgy

You're not alone in feeling this way.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

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20-04-2017, 12:03 PM
RE: confuised
(20-04-2017 11:59 AM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  
(20-04-2017 11:55 AM)kevin308 Wrote:   I am writing, but not sure exactly what I an trying to say. First off, no one in my family knows I'm an atheist. Except I think my dad knows, but he is non-religious (though not an atheist). Recently I came out to my sister (who I am estranged from) and she assured me that the holy spirit is inside me. She invited me to her church and it seemed like a way to possibly heal our relationship. But I don't want to fake it just to have a relationship, that's dishonest. My brother is also a big time christian and I don't believe he would disown me if he knew. I also don't want to be in a relationship where the other person is God focused and pushy, it just doesn't work well for me. I have religious friends, but one knows I am an atheist and the other one doesn't push his views, and he's a preacher. I guess I'm looking to enlarge my atheist circle of friends and be able to talk openly about my non-belief. That's a part of the reason that I'm on this site, to meet fellow atheists and talk openly about my non-belief and how I feel about religion and religious people. I'm excited about meeting new people, but cautious, because I've been burned by people before.

Aww hugs. I was like you, kept my belief or rather lack of, to myself

When I finally came out as an atheist to a few friends...one person said, "I wish you lived closer because my church is wonderful and accepts everyone, you should check it out"

They miss the point of non-belief. Dodgy

You're not alone in feeling this way.

That's how I felt with my sister, that she is sure that she has THE answer to bring me back on the straight and narrow. I didn't have the heart to tell her I've heard them all and am still an atheist.
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20-04-2017, 12:19 PM
RE: confuised
I was drawn into the thread by the title however, I don't think you are confused at all. You seem to know very well who you are and what you are about. However, I do think you are surrounded by other people who are confused.

The best thing you can do is just be yourself around those kind of people. They're obviously trapped in their world. Hug

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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20-04-2017, 12:19 PM
RE: confuised
(20-04-2017 11:55 AM)kevin308 Wrote:  That's a part of the reason that I'm on this site, to meet fellow atheists and talk openly about my non-belief and how I feel about religion and religious people.

Better the society of like-minded people than any people with whom you can't be honest and are always at odds. You can bend yourself in a pretzel and still disappoint them.
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20-04-2017, 01:46 PM (This post was last modified: 20-04-2017 01:52 PM by Jeanne.)
RE: confuised
Hi Kevin.

The thing about being an atheist is that it can be the most private part of you, because disbelief means none of the stuff believers do matters. You don't have to come out to people; you can just pass the time until you are on your own.

We don't have to tell anybody about our disbelief. You know you don't believe in the Christian deity. You know there are other people like you and you know where to find them. You don't have to make waves or stop being socially active with your friends or family, but you don't have to please them by making a hypocrite of yourself, either.

In the long run, you will do what seems to work for you at this time in your life. Just remember to take a barf-bag to church if you attend.

I think that we sometimes make our lives harder than need be, because we want to make a point; we want to tell others that we find their deity beliefs to be outrageous and their rituals to be ridiculous.

-Jeanne

"The Ox is slow, but the Earth is patient."
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20-04-2017, 03:47 PM
confuised
(20-04-2017 01:46 PM)Jeanne Wrote:  Hi Kevin.

The thing about being an atheist is that it can be the most private part of you, because disbelief means none of the stuff believers do matters. You don't have to come out to people; you can just pass the time until you are on your own.

We don't have to tell anybody about our disbelief. You know you don't believe in the Christian deity. You know there are other people like you and you know where to find them. You don't have to make waves or stop being socially active with your friends or family, but you don't have to please them by making a hypocrite of yourself, either.

In the long run, you will do what seems to work for you at this time in your life. Just remember to take a barf-bag to church if you attend.

I think that we sometimes make our lives harder than need be, because we want to make a point; we want to tell others that we find their deity beliefs to be outrageous and their rituals to be ridiculous.

-Jeanne


Very well said.
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21-04-2017, 08:42 AM
RE: confuised
(20-04-2017 11:55 AM)kevin308 Wrote:   I am writing, but not sure exactly what I an trying to say. First off, no one in my family knows I'm an atheist. Except I think my dad knows, but he is non-religious (though not an atheist). Recently I came out to my sister (who I am estranged from) and she assured me that the holy spirit is inside me. She invited me to her church and it seemed like a way to possibly heal our relationship. But I don't want to fake it just to have a relationship, that's dishonest. My brother is also a big time christian and I don't believe he would disown me if he knew. I also don't want to be in a relationship where the other person is God focused and pushy, it just doesn't work well for me. I have religious friends, but one knows I am an atheist and the other one doesn't push his views, and he's a preacher. I guess I'm looking to enlarge my atheist circle of friends and be able to talk openly about my non-belief. That's a part of the reason that I'm on this site, to meet fellow atheists and talk openly about my non-belief and how I feel about religion and religious people. I'm excited about meeting new people, but cautious, because I've been burned by people before.

> Contact American Atheists and see if they have an affiliated group in your area.
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21-04-2017, 09:02 AM
RE: confuised
Welcome Kevin Smile

You seem to have your head screwed on as far as I can see. Dealing with religious people is very difficult and their reactions can be unpredictable. You're wise to be cautious.

I also totally agree that faking things is a bad way to go, as is getting involved with anyone who would be putting an imaginary friend ahead of you.

I hope you can find a home here. I'm sure many can relate to your situation (I'm lucky enough to be in England where it's not an issue).

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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21-04-2017, 11:08 AM
RE: confuised
I feel your pain. I'm an in closet atheist from a very religious family. Only my wife knows (and agrees with me). My parents think I go to church weekly but I haven't been in almost 2 years. But they know something is up, and I'm dreading they confront me at some point, but that's mostly because I just don't like confrontation and all that crap. I really want to spare their feelings. I don't give a shit about god, the bible, church, and all that horseshit, but I do care about them. They are getting up there and I would hate to have a fallout this late in their lives. But I'm also not going to fake it just for them either.

Hang in there. This place is a great place to vent.
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