confuised
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21-04-2017, 12:48 PM
RE: confuised
Welcome to TTA Smile

I also came here to be surrounded by atheists because I have none in my life (none who lives close by actually).

If your sister really wants to heal your relationship, then being honest with her shouldn't change anything to that, if she really wants to get close to you, then you can both work out another way of getting close. If not, then, she just doesn't want to heal your relationship. You have nothing to lose by being honest : either she is sincere and then it will work out another way, either she is not, and then you'll find out, in that case, would you really have wanted to be close to someone who doesn't accept you as you are ?
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22-04-2017, 12:49 PM
RE: confuised
(20-04-2017 12:03 PM)kevin308 Wrote:  That's how I felt with my sister, that she is sure that she has THE answer to bring me back on the straight and narrow. I didn't have the heart to tell her I've heard them all and am still an atheist.
My oldest surviving brother and his wife are still committed evangelical Christians and they interpret my unbelief as "some sort of misunderstanding", the result of the tragedies I've lived through perhaps. Their memory of me as a deeply committed believer denies them the usual circular reasoning that "I was never really one of them". So they reinterpret it as a "phase" that I am going through, something that god is merciful and understanding about. If I lived near them I am positive I'd get invited to church functions and activities at the religious school their grandchildren attend and so forth. They would try to socialize me with their believing friends.

As Moms points out, this all misses the point of unbelief. Misses it by miles and miles, and has no relevance at all.
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22-04-2017, 12:52 PM
RE: confuised
(20-04-2017 01:46 PM)Jeanne Wrote:  In the long run, you will do what seems to work for you at this time in your life. Just remember to take a barf-bag to church if you attend.

I think that we sometimes make our lives harder than need be, because we want to make a point; we want to tell others that we find their deity beliefs to be outrageous and their rituals to be ridiculous.
Yes, if you let go of the need to be right, or to be seen as right, life gets much simpler.

It is harder to do with close family members because we (should be able to) derive much of our validation and sense of belonging from them, and we give their opinions outsized weight. But when you think about it, they are just random people we happen to be associated with by birth. They are not automatically "right" because of that.

Ultimately you just live true to your own convictions and let the chips fall where they may with people who think differently than you ... even those who just happen to be immediate family members.
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