detriments of religion in my life-PTW
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28-02-2017, 09:10 PM
detriments of religion in my life-PTW
so when I joined I said I had some bad experiences with religion and that having secular people in my life was important to me
I figured i should be a bit more of an established member before posting overly personal stuff but things have started hitting me again lately and i figured i should share a bit of my story
so my mother's side of the family is catholic and my father's side is non-practicing protestant
my father isnt a major player here since my parents divorced when i was in middle school
my sister and i were raised catholic and honestly we didnt really go to church much or anything until my grandmother got cancer when i was in 8th grade
we still went to religious (mis)education and such
my mother is the moderately religious type who values faith. she's also very stubborn
my great aunts and their progeny are super religious and quite annoying. i look forward to their deaths because we dont need that shit in our world
as i went through middle school i began to detach from religion. i was going with the flow because it was what i knew but i really wasnt feeling anything. as i went into high school it really just stopped making sense to me
after a while i told my mother i really doubted a god could exist. the very idea of it is rediculous. i didnt wish to partake in the religion anymore. i know i was still a minor but honestly i had already been put into adult family roles and you dont get to pick and chose when i am and when i am not an adult. if i am old enough at 14 to handle a relatives round-the-clock care then i am old enough at 16 to opt out of religion
now there were other issues going on in my head at the time. i really hated myself and intended to kill myself before i turned 16. i tried to rehome my animals but i ended up getting my axolotl, Burrito (i will make separate posts about her dont worry)
my family was still stubborn. i still had to go to church and ccd and all that shit and the power struggle caused me to begin restricting my calorie intake. my nonreligious identity was and still is at stake but hey at least i can control what i eat. it took a few years for me to become underweight although i dropped 50 pounds in a 4 month span
my lack of belief in an afterlife has kept me from offing myself although i dont think theres anything bad about doing such a thing to myself. it is my life and if i am forced into religion or continue to experience the normativity of it, i have no obligation to stay alive.
i still struggle with restricting. i have tried getting help for the past 4 years. at my worst i only allow myself about 600 calories a day, including coffee and other beverages. my default thoughts are on weight control and obesity avoidance. i monitor my metabolism and am fixated on what foods help surpress appetite and burn fat. im not saying religion alone is to blame but it certainly lit the spark
i dont want my family. if i can escape them i may be better off. surrounding myself with secular people helps
as i get more comfortable on here i may share more but i dont really intend to use this site to unload everything
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28-02-2017, 09:37 PM
RE: detriments of religion in my life-PTW
I think that this should be moved to the PI&S forum. That said, I would like for you to find something that helps you want to live. Maybe you'll find it here! Religion is a problem, but the bigger problem is what people will do in the name of religion, that goes against a whole host of survival imperatives. Good luck with your struggle! Thumbsup
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28-02-2017, 09:48 PM
RE: detriments of religion in my life-PTW
(28-02-2017 09:37 PM)Fireball Wrote:  I think that this should be moved to the PI&S forum. That said, I would like for you to find something that helps you want to live. Maybe you'll find it here! Religion is a problem, but the bigger problem is what people will do in the name of religion, that goes against a whole host of survival imperatives. Good luck with your struggle! Thumbsup
i was told something like this belonged here but i guess everyones opinion differs
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28-02-2017, 09:58 PM
RE: detriments of religion in my life-PTW
This is the right place, and never fear about unloading here. It's OK and a good place to do it.
Regarding your diet, I'd suggest getting a professional to assess what you really need in terms of macros and calories. 600 is really low and likely not helping how you feel in general.
I am on a ketogenic diet and get about 1300 a day myself. I can sympathize with you on that.
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28-02-2017, 10:02 PM (This post was last modified: 28-02-2017 10:05 PM by jennybee.)
RE: detriments of religion in my life-PTW
*hugs*

We're glad you're here. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot. Maybe a therapist would help? You deserve to be happy. Don't forget life goes in waves, even when things seem awful, they can always get better.

I know it must be hard living with your family, but that part is only temporary, soon you can go to college and get away from all of that, and truly live the life you choose. If you end things, you'll miss out on all the amazing things life has in store for you, all the amazing things you can do in the world. Don't let your hatred for religion win. It doesn't get to. It already took enough of your life away from you. The best fuck you to religion is to go out and live life on your own terms.

From what I've seen of you on here, you shouldn't hate yourself. You seem like a sweet, smart person. I really think it would helpful for you to talk to someone skilled in dealing with all of this. I know you mentioned in your post you tried to get help, but maybe that therapist wasn't the right fit. You don't need to be feeling bad about yourself. And the right therapist can help you get better.

We're always here to listen and offer support, so please always know that so you don't feel alone. Heart
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28-02-2017, 10:10 PM
RE: detriments of religion in my life-PTW
Hi seagull, you can call me port. Nice choice for a username! I imagine you flying, free, and strong. I hope that is what your future will look like.

I've had close friends struggle with eating, so I know it's a real struggle and not something you can change overnight. Hug Is there a way you can start seeing a nutritionist? The science-based approach of learning which nutrients you need to ensure good health might appeal to you, as someone whose life philosophy is grounded in reason and science. Don't be afraid to "shop around" for the right guide. Personally, I've spent tons of money seeing health gurus I didn't actually like just because they kept asking me if I wanted to schedule another appointment and I felt too committed to the relationship to say no. I know, it's crazy. Nowadays, if I go to see a new healthcare provider, I let them know right away that I'm trying different options so I don't get stuck.
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28-02-2017, 10:15 PM (This post was last modified: 28-02-2017 10:21 PM by Fireball.)
RE: detriments of religion in my life-PTW
(28-02-2017 09:48 PM)seagull Wrote:  
(28-02-2017 09:37 PM)Fireball Wrote:  I think that this should be moved to the PI&S forum. That said, I would like for you to find something that helps you want to live. Maybe you'll find it here! Religion is a problem, but the bigger problem is what people will do in the name of religion, that goes against a whole host of survival imperatives. Good luck with your struggle! Thumbsup
i was told something like this belonged here but i guess everyones opinion differs

Facepalm My bad. It's one forum down, and in the right section. Not having the purple border led me astray. Blush
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28-02-2017, 11:52 PM
RE: detriments of religion in my life-PTW
I'm very sorry to hear about what you're going through. It breaks my heart when I hear about anyone being forced to stay in religion. I'm glad you felt you could share your story with us Smile

I had to emotionally disconnect from my family because they were making me ill. I now only see them extremely rarely, as little as possible.

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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01-03-2017, 02:25 AM
RE: detriments of religion in my life-PTW
(28-02-2017 10:02 PM)jennybee Wrote:  *hugs*

We're glad you're here. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot. Maybe a therapist would help? You deserve to be happy. Don't forget life goes in waves, even when things seem awful, they can always get better.

I know it must be hard living with your family, but that part is only temporary, soon you can go to college and get away from all of that, and truly live the life you choose. If you end things, you'll miss out on all the amazing things life has in store for you, all the amazing things you can do in the world. Don't let your hatred for religion win. It doesn't get to. It already took enough of your life away from you. The best fuck you to religion is to go out and live life on your own terms.

From what I've seen of you on here, you shouldn't hate yourself. You seem like a sweet, smart person. I really think it would helpful for you to talk to someone skilled in dealing with all of this. I know you mentioned in your post you tried to get help, but maybe that therapist wasn't the right fit. You don't need to be feeling bad about yourself. And the right therapist can help you get better.

We're always here to listen and offer support, so please always know that so you don't feel alone. Heart

i am in college but i still have to deal with relatives since i dont have my own place yet technically. it's complicated

i have talked to 2 therapists and 2 nutritionists and the nutritionists dont really help since they approach the issue as though i dont know how to eat properly, which isnt really the case
i have adjusted to be able to live on coffee and sugar. if and when it kills me is another matter
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01-03-2017, 02:39 AM
RE: detriments of religion in my life-PTW
G'day Seagull, and welcome. Smile

Eating disorders are one of the most difficult of negative psychological mindsets to overcome unfortunately, and unwarranted stressors brought about by the hypocrisy and thoughtlessness from religionists is obviously less than helpful.

Personally, I couldn't survive on 600 calories per day but YMMV obviously. Please take care.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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