did your spouse/SO/partner lose their 'belief' after you did?
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24-05-2013, 06:44 AM
did your spouse/SO/partner lose their 'belief' after you did?
So a few months ago I came out as atheist to my husband, he's known I've always been a doubter- so I don't think it was any surprise. I just finally stuck a label on it.

He's a believer. Born and raised evangelical baptist- although once he moved from his parents he stopped going to church, etc.

Today he's posted a graphic joke on FB 'for the skeptics' -- its the one that shows a chart with the frequency of miracles in relation to the invention of the camera and photoshop.

We really don't discuss things much on this topic. I know he's sensitive about it even though he isn't surprised. And I just feel its a journey that someone has to make on their own and he doesn't need badgering by me.

And I'm actually quite surprised he posted it-its not like him. I'm wondering if he is sorting thru his own thoughts on this matter. And I'm wondering if this is common.

Has your spouse/partner become a skeptic after you came out?


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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24-05-2013, 09:21 AM
RE: did your spouse/SO/partner lose their 'belief' after you did?
He might have posted that as a joke to Photoshop and its overuse and nothing more, but not going to church is a sign of a relaxed believer, lol.

My husband was evang baptist as well. He was never super religious though, he was a guilty Christian. Not a passionate active one, although he did go to bible college for 2 years quite awhile before I met him so he did have a somewhat in-depth understanding.

I had seen snippets of the movie Religulous and wanted to see the full vid, so one night when movie stores still existed and we were picking out a movie, I suggested it as something funny to watch. After watching it my husband seemed really uneasy and said it was funny but he was really confused. It quickly unravelled from there and now we are nearly 100 percent on the same page. Some may say evenly yoked Tongue
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24-05-2013, 10:55 AM
RE: did your spouse/SO/partner lose their 'belief' after you did?
Yes, she did. My wife was not raised in a religious household, however. There is a general belief in a kind of generic christian god that she was brought up with, I came from a much more strictly religious household. As I went through my questioning, watched videos, debates, and whatnot, she was sitting right next to me most of the time.

By the time I had reached my atheistic conclusion, there wasn't much that she could argue about or even tried to. She simply agreed that it made more sense that any sort of god as put forth by religion today is false. We don't talk a whole lot about it, it's really not as big of a deal for her as it is for me, but we are on the same page.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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24-05-2013, 10:57 AM
RE: did your spouse/SO/partner lose their 'belief' after you did?
(24-05-2013 06:44 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  So a few months ago I came out as atheist to my husband, he's known I've always been a doubter- so I don't think it was any surprise. I just finally stuck a label on it.

He's a believer. Born and raised evangelical baptist- although once he moved from his parents he stopped going to church, etc.

Today he's posted a graphic joke on FB 'for the skeptics' -- its the one that shows a chart with the frequency of miracles in relation to the invention of the camera and photoshop.

We really don't discuss things much on this topic. I know he's sensitive about it even though he isn't surprised. And I just feel its a journey that someone has to make on their own and he doesn't need badgering by me.

And I'm actually quite surprised he posted it-its not like him. I'm wondering if he is sorting thru his own thoughts on this matter. And I'm wondering if this is common.

Has your spouse/partner become a skeptic after you came out?

My husband was actually more atheist than I was. And ya...I slowly came around..tho I was kinda already there....

We don't discuss atheism at all.

What surprised us was when our older son came out and said he was atheist. I kinda worried that I had influenced him. But no, he did his own research. You are right tho, everyone must come at it from their own way.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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25-05-2013, 02:24 AM
RE: did your spouse/SO/partner lose their 'belief' after you did?
My wife was raised Southern Fundie Baptist...always into it, went to a private school, Whole nine yards. When we met she had her doubts but wasn't really full blown into the whole skeptic idea. I had always been atheist, I let her know that right at the start, and she was okay with it. When her school cheated her out of a diploma, and had her whole life ruined by her pastor for being with me, she decided that she didn't want to be apart of it anymore. She is now more militant that even I am.

Shock And Awe Tactics-- The "application of massive or overwhelming force" to "disarm, incapacitate, or render the enemy impotent with as few casualties to ourselves and to noncombatants as possible"
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25-05-2013, 10:46 AM
RE: did your spouse/SO/partner lose their 'belief' after you did?
My wife never cared much about gods either way but she was a believer as a result of her family. It didn't take a lot of argument on my part to convince here that gods are make believe.

Thank god I wound up with a rational woman. Big Grin

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
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25-05-2013, 03:12 PM
RE: did your spouse/SO/partner lose their 'belief' after you did?
Not yet, but I live in hope. My spouse's current beliefs appear to be that God exists and is real, but any part of religion that doesn't make sense or is despicable is just false - that a true knowledge of God comes from personal revelation alone.

Give me your argument in the form of a published paper, and then we can start to talk.
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31-05-2013, 07:16 AM
RE: did your spouse/SO/partner lose their 'belief' after you did?
It seems that since I came out, so to speak, my wife's spiritual beliefs became stronger. We don't talk about god at all, and I think I took all the fun out of her ghost hunter shows. One problem we will run into is our involvement with Al-Anon, the splinter group of AA. I joined mostly out of curiosity, but she is totally wrapped up in the "spiritual experience" thing. It is possible that she wanted for me to join so that I can get back in touch with god and leave this silly atheism behind. Heh, were it so easy.
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11-07-2013, 01:19 PM
RE: did your spouse/SO/partner lose their 'belief' after you did?
My wife is still a believer, but her faith is wavering some. Her father passed a few months ago, and then her grandmother. She has asked the "why did this happen" question many times, but I've refrained from giving her the atheist nudge. She's still of the mindset that perhaps these things are happening because of something she's done. I've pointed out that everyone are suffering from it, and so did everyone else also deserve it? And why should good people be taken? To simply punish others? She doesn't thing it makes sense, either. I'm thinking she's on her way there on her own. Closer to that metaphorical fence, as it were. Here's hoping...
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11-07-2013, 05:15 PM
RE: did your spouse/SO/partner lose their 'belief' after you did?
My wife still believes but I think she has been faltering as of late as she has engaged me in pretty honest discussion about why I am an atheist and we have had some pretty good back and forth. I am pretty optimistic that she is sorting it all out for herself and that in some time she is going to draw the logical conclusions. I hope so anyway, but regardless our marriage is pretty solid the way it is.

"History teaches us that no other cause has brought more death than the word of god."
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