family and facebook
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22-04-2013, 09:06 PM
RE: family and facebook
My answer is to separate the two. I don't post atheist/humanist/freethinking quotes/stories on my FB page because of the questions they would raise. At this point, the headaches and negatives would far outweigh the good and the former is not something I'm prepared to deal with right now.

But everyone is different. That's how I'm handling it...perhaps that might be helpful in your case.
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23-04-2013, 09:09 AM
RE: family and facebook
I've gone ahead and seperated my openminded friends from family. My family will no longer see any atheist/humanist related material. I don't post that much anyway.
I did hope that my theologian dad would at least want to have a civil conversation about it all instead of ignoring me and then taking cheap shots on fb.
Thank you for the support.
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23-04-2013, 12:11 PM (This post was last modified: 23-04-2013 04:35 PM by Atheist_pilgrim.)
RE: family and facebook
(22-04-2013 09:57 AM)jerusha3 Wrote:  I know this will seem minor for some who are dealjng with much bigger issues but i need to get this out.
I recently came out to my family. I have posted very few things on facebook about atheism.
Yesterday I posted about going to a great humanist meeting. My dad commented with "if I am wrong and there is no heaven I have lost nothing, if you are wrong you have lost everything"
After that we got into a discussion. He said I was being influenced by someone else and being pulled into darkness. He also told me that if I was going to post about my unbelief I would get negative comments.
I haven't posted any comments to others that are constantly posting verses, religious quotes, or full bible studies daily.
I have more than a handful of family that will not speak to me at all. I was raised in a close family and last year moved across country to.be closer to them and now I'm losing them.
I also do not bring this topic up with anyone unless asked.

Right there with you, man! A couple of days ago I changed my picture to the "Ask Me Anything" atheist logo, and a horrified relative in Minnesota called my mom to report me. Mom is already in the know and not happy about it, but this just added fuel to the fire that will apparently consume me forever in hell. At least I've been able to present my case for leaving Xianity, but she's still worried that I'm going to poach. Well, hopefully time and information will bring her around...

However, I do repost some stuff from other FB atheist pages (including Seth's), and as a result I have received some negative feedback from a couple of my Xian friends. The other day I decided to comment on a close friend's postings (that appeared on my wall) where he displayed some of his nature photographs with creationist captions ("what kind of brush did god use on this flower?"). I made the comment "A Darwinian 42?" with a wink face, which led to a back-and-forth private message debate. So far he hasn't replied to the last message I sent, but I'm guessing he's not a happy camper. We were close friends for a number of years until I left Xianity, and my break with faith damaged our relationship.

That said, you found a good place to come and hang out. There are also plenty of groups on Facebook and folks on Twitter to follow and commisserate with, Youtube videos and atheist books to curl up with to take the edge off, and even atheist events to meet others for some actual face-time. But family rifts are a hard thing, and I'm sure there are many here with similar stories who can relate to your situation.
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23-04-2013, 12:22 PM
RE: family and facebook
(22-04-2013 09:57 AM)jerusha3 Wrote:  I know this will seem minor for some who are dealjng with much bigger issues but i need to get this out.
I recently came out to my family. I have posted very few things on facebook about atheism.
Yesterday I posted about going to a great humanist meeting. My dad commented with "if I am wrong and there is no heaven I have lost nothing, if you are wrong you have lost everything"

To which I would respond: If I am wrong, AND if you are wrong, but Muslims are right, then we're going to need sunblock.

If someone wants to get pithy on Facebook, a pithy response is warranted (especially one which flows logically).
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23-04-2013, 12:31 PM
RE: family and facebook
My general rule on Facebook, first and foremost, is to respect the person on whose page you're posting. When my Christian friends and family post Christian themes, I do not comment and I do not bring them down. It's their page. Now, if they come to MY page and post willy-nilly, then I feel more free to respond and to challenge. A cousin of mind lamented that a priest publicly referred to Adam and Eve as mythology as opposed to history. I did not comment. However, if I posted the same article and he came to my page to lament the priest's momentary episode of sanity, I would feel perfectly free to explain why the priest was right and my cousin was plain old, flat out wrong.

Your dad came to your page to pick a fight with your worldview. He should respect your space, but he chose not to. You should not be ashamed to stand up for what you believe -- and you can do it in a way that challenges his argument, not his person.
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26-04-2013, 12:17 PM
RE: family and facebook
I truly hope this all settles down. I've only been "out" for a little over a month. I know I have a long way to go with my family. Thank you all for the support.
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26-04-2013, 12:34 PM
RE: family and facebook
Just hide any atheistic comment from your family on FB.

If they post something negative, delete it and act as if you never saw it.

On a side note, does your dad believe in "once saved, always saved"?

[Image: dog-shaking.gif]
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26-04-2013, 09:57 PM
RE: family and facebook
(26-04-2013 12:34 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  On a side note, does your dad believe in "once saved, always saved"?

Yes he does but I'm sure he will say I was never saved if I'm doing all this now.
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