fear of success
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11-12-2012, 06:10 PM
fear of success
basically today my counselor told me for the third time tat the reason I have no drive is because I have a ear of success and he is totally right.{I just keep forgetting.}the problem is how to overcome such a fear. i mean I keep backsliding into this self sabotaging state in which I don't have{or self consciencely not let myself} have any drive and I don't want to do it again.... ssssoooooo.... while I haven't tricked myself back into self sabotage. what can you guys give me that may help me out.{advice wise}

I ask because I can do things and I do have dreams. thank you for your time.

1. Striding and swaggering rootlessness without end. The precious flow of life.
2. one should fear sweet a blood stained flower.
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11-12-2012, 06:50 PM
fear of success
Most fear failure or rejection. Saying we fear success is usually another way we are manifesting that same fear. Just by saying..."Oh, I'm afraid of being successful." That really means trying might mean finding out we're not good enough or that we aren't as great as we thought. Just my opine.
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11-12-2012, 06:53 PM
RE: fear of success
thanks!!!

1. Striding and swaggering rootlessness without end. The precious flow of life.
2. one should fear sweet a blood stained flower.
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11-12-2012, 09:12 PM
RE: fear of success
try getting good at video games. you cant slack off from slacking off.

Seriously though, I'm starting my pro career soon and it has only taken 6 months of work.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
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16-12-2012, 09:47 PM
RE: fear of success
you look like a lot of fun. I've "helped" a number of people in a similar situation to yours. The term "fixing" is not the correct one. Perhaps you do not have a fear of success. Perhaps you just lack a drive to do things. For example. I can get things done. I can go places, earn a degree, get a good job. Shit like that. But I don't. Why? Because I don't care. I am simply content with where I am. I see no need to advance as I do not desire more.

Perhaps you do not desire to exceed and are unaware of it. So you blame your current state on something else...........

That was fun.

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17-12-2012, 06:38 AM
RE: fear of success
What jmiah said. It is ultimately failing or discovering we aren't good enough that's at the root of the so-called fear of failure. Same (often) with commitment issues - you leave first, so that you are not the one's who gets dumped.

It's not easy to break the pattern (if at all), but maybe you should try smaller things first. Like go for something that you've wanted but haven't had the courage to try. Also, keep reminding yourself that failing at something doesn't make you a failure. Are we talking job-wise or just in general, btw?

Lack of drive can be caused by other things, as well, like depression. So don't assume it's necessarily fear of success.

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderĂ²."
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17-12-2012, 07:17 AM
RE: fear of success
So how do you sabotage yourself? What is the process?

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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17-12-2012, 07:20 AM
RE: fear of success
(17-12-2012 07:17 AM)Dom Wrote:  So how do you sabotage yourself? What is the process?
Dom, in my experience, it may take various forms, like not even trying, because, as you say to yourself, "there is no point anyway". Some people actually do stupid stuff that gets them kicked out of work. Or you undersell yourself. All sorts of stupid and often subconscious things.

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderĂ²."
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17-12-2012, 08:00 AM
RE: fear of success
I want her to be aware of her exact thought process that occurs each time she prepares to fail...

Usually people are not aware of what exactly occurs.

Once they are, the can "red flag" themselves when these thoughts happen and stop them.

[Image: dobie.png]

Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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17-12-2012, 08:15 AM
RE: fear of success
(I think he is a heSmile)
You are right, though, Dom. It's good to keep track of what's going one through our heads when we do it (or when we don't do something because of fear). But it's sometimes difficult to be aware of the fact that you're even doing it.

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderĂ²."
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