god's long term plan for humanity...

[Zat]

...
Actually, god did mean the Rapture to be the ultimate end, but humans never listen properly and misunderstood the whole concept.

Courtesy of my wife:

"They believe the Rapture is an invitation to a never-ending party at God’s house.

They’re to report to Jerusalem, which they think is like a great big transporter room, from where they’ll get beamed up to heaven.

Weeellll.... yes and no.

They’ll get beamed up, and there is a party going on, but they’re not the guests – they’re the entree.

The dumbed-down can’t spell and don’t know they can’t spell. Should have been Raptor. "

[Zat]

PS. I can't help myself -- I am on a roll:

Schiller was misquoted too.

The usual quote says:

"Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain"

What he meant to say was:

"On human stupidity the gods themselves grow fat and vain"

(this ties in perfectly with the real meaning of 'Rapture' as explained above!)

[Chas]

(28-03-2013 08:55 AM)Zat Wrote:  PS. I can't help myself -- I am on a roll:

Schiller was misquoted too.

The usual quote says:

"Against stupidity the gods themselves content in vain"

What he meant to say was:

"On human stupidity the gods themselves grow fat and vain"

Against the stupidity of believing in gods, we contend in vain.

[Zat]

Still on the topic of god's (failed) plan and human stupidity...

A philosopher, in his dream, asks god: "God, can you create such a heavy stone that even you can't lift it up?"

God replies: "I created humans, didn't I?"

[Zat]

A Priest, praying to god asks:

Priest: "God, will priests ever be allowed to marry?"
God: "Not in your lifetime"

Priest: "Will women ever be ordained?"
God: "Not in your lifetime"

Priest: "If we destroy ourselves, will you create humans again?"
God: Not in my lifetime!!!"

[Zat]

Stupid humans misunderstand everything!

God never told the priests to be celibate.

All he said was: "go forth and celebrate!"

[Aseptic Skeptic]

(28-03-2013 05:51 AM)Zat Wrote:  When god created humans, first he wanted companionship, so he gave humans intelligence to see what they would do with it.

Then, when he saw that humans mostly used intelligence to kill each other, then he said: "if I can't have worthy companions, then I will have worshipers" -- so he established official christian religion.

The flaw in your premise is assuming god didn't want us to kill each other. The greatest killer of them all, Yahweh, seems to have created us in that image, too. Why wouldn't he enjoy watching us do to each other the same things that he has done to us for ages? He sure commands us to slaughter each other often enough.

[Zat]

...
I was hoping this thread could be for fun only, not for scholarly debate on religion.

Please, post only ideas you consider humorous or ironic.

There are so few topics that lend themselves -- use the opportunity!