going to scream
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08-01-2013, 07:11 PM
going to scream
I just need to let lose before my head explodes. I'm not necessarily looking for input, I just need to say something.

I cried today for the first time since my uncle died. Full on blubbering like a baby. Life has me down. My Christmas "break" has been anything but.

I have not been able to go do any of my work for over a week, because we put my wife's car in the garage to find out what was wrong. No results after a week and then my little car dies (piston through the block.). So we have to put my wife back in her car that isn't running right in order for her to work. Find out yesterday that her boss is putting squeeze on her to have something done by this week's end or face being fired. We can't afford a new car. I've been baby sitting a teething baby because we can't take him to day care without having another car to go and pick him up. We still don't know what's going to happen on Friday. I feel like a failure. I feel like I may have to get a 2nd job or give up pursuing my PhD. My wife has put so much on the line and we have a kid. The parents will all be here at the end of the month for my sons birthday. Where will we be? What will we have to show for our time here? I feel like a failure. I'm at my wits end. I need to just know what is going to happen. Not knowing is the worst. How do I plan for my sons future at this stage? No internet at home means no real ability to talk with other people. I feel alone. My wife is having to work extra to get this stuff done by Friday. I feel isolated.

I'm not dead. I'm not dying. My son (although teething) is also healthy. We have health insurance. I have at least a week to figure something out. My mom loves us and may be able to help. But how much can I ask her to do? I feel like anything is too much.

I need a break from life. I'll stay home tomorrow again. I'll watch House while my son sleeps. We will play blocks. I'll try to remember to smile when he does. We will take a walk and get some fresh air. I need...I don't know what I need.

Is this place still a shithole run by a dumbass calvinist?
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08-01-2013, 07:13 PM
RE: going to scream



(/jk)

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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08-01-2013, 07:15 PM
RE: going to scream
I need a laugh. Thank you.

Is this place still a shithole run by a dumbass calvinist?
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08-01-2013, 07:17 PM
RE: going to scream
There's a method to my madness. Drinking Beverage

Through profound pain comes profound knowledge.
Ridi, Pagliaccio, sul tuo amore infranto! Ridi del duol, che t'avvelena il cor!
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08-01-2013, 07:22 PM
RE: going to scream
Aww, so sorry you're going through all this. Just sending many sympathetic hugs...

Hopefully, things will start looking up. I hope so, I really do.

How old is the baby? I would freeze bagels and let the boys gnaw on them when they were teething. It helped. So did tequila -- but that was for me Smile


Wind's in the east, a mist coming in
Like something is brewing and about to begin
Can't put my finger on what lies in store
but I feel what's to happen has happened before...


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08-01-2013, 08:12 PM
RE: going to scream
Hugs for everyone. HugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHugHug

And dude you're not a failure. Wife, kid and a beard.
This will pass with you winning.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
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08-01-2013, 08:39 PM
RE: going to scream
Crying is as essential a bodily function as pooping....'bout damn time ya' cried, boy.

Hopefully it was a bit cathartic & come tomorrow morning you'll feel refreshed and have not so glum an outlook. In other words, you'll be in a better frame of mind for solutions to come to you.

Hang in there, and hang out here.

Hug

Drinking Beverage Grab a cuppa' joe; sit-n-read my blog for a spell: www.vaweber.wordpress.com
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09-01-2013, 01:38 AM
RE: going to scream
Yo Beard. Life can be though, life's a bitch, not much we can do here, but things kinda sort itself out sometimes. Having a baby in this modern age of capitalism is hard, that money things is depressing. But if that is what you need at this moment, do not be afraid/ashamed/whatever to ask help from your mother, or someone else as close to you as that. She is family, she is your mother, she would give you everything and she won't expect a thing in return. Probably, I do not know her, but a mother is a mother.

Hold on man, I hope things turn out for the better, soon.

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I have a theory that the truth is never told during the nine-to-five hours.
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09-01-2013, 08:20 AM
RE: going to scream
Everyone has tough spots like this - most people won't tell.

You are doing the right thing - ranting some place and crying are the best coping mechanisms when you are in a spot that has no discernable way of resolving itself.

It can't fix the situation, but it can "fix" you. The better you feel, the more stress falls off your shoulders, the better prepared you will be to handle wahtever comes at you.

Keep on ranting, and cry when you can. It can be invaluable by actually making you stronger.

People saying that crying makes you a weak person are idiots. Crying serves to make you a more balanced and hence stronger person.

I don't know how this will resolve for you, but it will. Life throws you crap, but you'll wade through it and wash your feet afterwards.

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Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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11-01-2013, 01:18 AM
RE: going to scream
(08-01-2013 07:11 PM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  I just need to let lose before my head explodes. I'm not necessarily looking for input, I just need to say something.

I cried today for the first time since my uncle died. Full on blubbering like a baby. Life has me down. My Christmas "break" has been anything but.

I have not been able to go do any of my work for over a week, because we put my wife's car in the garage to find out what was wrong. No results after a week and then my little car dies (piston through the block.). So we have to put my wife back in her car that isn't running right in order for her to work. Find out yesterday that her boss is putting squeeze on her to have something done by this week's end or face being fired. We can't afford a new car. I've been baby sitting a teething baby because we can't take him to day care without having another car to go and pick him up. We still don't know what's going to happen on Friday. I feel like a failure. I feel like I may have to get a 2nd job or give up pursuing my PhD. My wife has put so much on the line and we have a kid. The parents will all be here at the end of the month for my sons birthday. Where will we be? What will we have to show for our time here? I feel like a failure. I'm at my wits end. I need to just know what is going to happen. Not knowing is the worst. How do I plan for my sons future at this stage? No internet at home means no real ability to talk with other people. I feel alone. My wife is having to work extra to get this stuff done by Friday. I feel isolated.

I'm not dead. I'm not dying. My son (although teething) is also healthy. We have health insurance. I have at least a week to figure something out. My mom loves us and may be able to help. But how much can I ask her to do? I feel like anything is too much.

I need a break from life. I'll stay home tomorrow again. I'll watch House while my son sleeps. We will play blocks. I'll try to remember to smile when he does. We will take a walk and get some fresh air. I need...I don't know what I need.
All I can say is I have been in similar situations, and it fucking sucks! I'm temporarily in a shitty situation right now, thanks to bureaucratic bullshit brought to me by Uncle Sam. If you are anything like me you can't help but stress out. It doesn't do any good, and I don't have any good advice to give you other than to suck it up and do the best you can the best way you know how. Just don't let life beat you and everything will eventually work itself out. You haven't failed until you've given up. You're not a failure dude, it happens to everyone not born with a silver spoon in their hand. Getting your PhD sounds like a good idea too.

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