growing up again, what about you?
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25-05-2014, 11:50 AM
growing up again, what about you?
Someone made a comment on one of my threads stating that when you leave a religion and recover, you go through a growing up stage all over again. like adolescent stage in a sense.

I feel like that. I've never actually had the chance to grow up and find myself. I never even had a rebellious stage. I was a dream son for my parent, the perfect Mormon boy.

but now I am 21 and married and its an awkward situation. I get more moody, say rude things by mistake every now and then, my wardrobe style is changing, I'm always arguing with my parents, I'm always hating on religion. I finally finished trying the smoking habit. I dont like it. now I'm experimenting with all sorts of alcohols. my political ideas have completely changed 180 degrees. sometimes I'm selfish and absorbed. I cuss too much now. I started listening to loud music again. and sometimes I feel socially awkward as I am still developing my persona that I want to Portray to new acquaintances.

I feel like I'm mentally back in middle school. is this weird?

"A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be."- Albert Einstein.

"We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special." Steven Hawking
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25-05-2014, 11:57 AM
RE: growing up again, what about you?
(25-05-2014 11:50 AM)elconquistador Wrote:  Someone made a comment on one of my threads stating that when you leave a religion and recover, you go through a growing up stage all over again. like adolescent stage in a sense.

I feel like that. I've never actually had the chance to grow up and find myself. I never even had a rebellious stage. I was a dream son for my parent, the perfect Mormon boy.

but now I am 21 and married and its an awkward situation. I get more moody, say rude things by mistake every now and then, my wardrobe style is changing, I'm always arguing with my parents, I'm always hating on religion. I finally finished trying the smoking habit. I dont like it. now I'm experimenting with all sorts of alcohols. my political ideas have completely changed 180 degrees. sometimes I'm selfish and absorbed. I cuss too much now. I started listening to loud music again. and sometimes I feel socially awkward as I am still developing my persona that I want to Portray to new acquaintances.

I feel like I'm mentally back in middle school. is this weird?

I don't think it's weird at all. You weren't allowed to test things and find the real you before...now you can, and are. And that's a good thing.

While only somewhat due to religion, I was kind of hemmed in when it came to being myself till I got away from my my hometown. Anyone or anything considered different or edgy was frowned upon. That said, I am still a bit unconventional in some ways. But I work and pay taxes, I raised my kids, I just live a fairly normal life. I made it through the wild times and came out on the other end.

You are doing fine! The pendulum has swung far to the other direction for you...it will level out. You will find you and your middle ground. Smile

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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25-05-2014, 12:05 PM
RE: growing up again, what about you?
(25-05-2014 11:57 AM)Anjele Wrote:  
(25-05-2014 11:50 AM)elconquistador Wrote:  Someone made a comment on one of my threads stating that when you leave a religion and recover, you go through a growing up stage all over again. like adolescent stage in a sense.

I feel like that. I've never actually had the chance to grow up and find myself. I never even had a rebellious stage. I was a dream son for my parent, the perfect Mormon boy.

but now I am 21 and married and its an awkward situation. I get more moody, say rude things by mistake every now and then, my wardrobe style is changing, I'm always arguing with my parents, I'm always hating on religion. I finally finished trying the smoking habit. I dont like it. now I'm experimenting with all sorts of alcohols. my political ideas have completely changed 180 degrees. sometimes I'm selfish and absorbed. I cuss too much now. I started listening to loud music again. and sometimes I feel socially awkward as I am still developing my persona that I want to Portray to new acquaintances.

I feel like I'm mentally back in middle school. is this weird?

I don't think it's weird at all. You weren't allowed to test things and find the real you before...now you can, and are. And that's a good thing.

While only somewhat due to religion, I was kind of hemmed in when it came to being myself till I got away from my my hometown. Anyone or anything considered different or edgy was frowned upon. That said, I am still a bit unconventional in some ways. But I work and pay taxes, I raised my kids, I just live a fairly normal life. I made it through the wild times and came out on the other end.

You are doing fine! The pendulum has swung far to the other direction for you...it will level out. You will find you and your middle ground. Smile
Thank you so much! I wasn't sure if I was just being immature, just because I am immature.

but I'm glad to know this is just a part of the transition!
Smile

"A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be."- Albert Einstein.

"We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special." Steven Hawking
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25-05-2014, 12:09 PM
RE: growing up again, what about you?
(25-05-2014 12:05 PM)elconquistador Wrote:  
(25-05-2014 11:57 AM)Anjele Wrote:  I don't think it's weird at all. You weren't allowed to test things and find the real you before...now you can, and are. And that's a good thing.

While only somewhat due to religion, I was kind of hemmed in when it came to being myself till I got away from my my hometown. Anyone or anything considered different or edgy was frowned upon. That said, I am still a bit unconventional in some ways. But I work and pay taxes, I raised my kids, I just live a fairly normal life. I made it through the wild times and came out on the other end.

You are doing fine! The pendulum has swung far to the other direction for you...it will level out. You will find you and your middle ground. Smile
Thank you so much! I wasn't sure if I was just being immature, just because I am immature.

but I'm glad to know this is just a part of the transition!
Smile

You can't grow when you are kept in a box...you are free of that box now.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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26-05-2014, 10:42 PM
RE: growing up again, what about you?
I don't think your behavior is weird either! I come from a fundy background.

I think anyone who manages to escape the brainwashing of religion, has the right to test the waters for a bit. Our lives were on lock down for years, so it's no wonder that we feel awkward, and unsure at first. I remember thinking "what the hell do I do with myself now?"

Looking back, I feel as if I went through something similar to the 5 stages of grief....eventually falling into acceptance. Your journey through this, will be your own. I don't think there's any right or wrong way to go about this.

Everything just falls into place over time.

It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. ~Mark Twain
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11-06-2014, 09:28 PM
RE: growing up again, what about you?
I'm 38, married with 4 kids. I'm going through something very similar. I'm not sure how to act around my Christian friends. I'm still somewhat offended by my atheist friends. I'm watching more horror movies and listening to 70's and 80's punk music. I do feel more moody because I'm still in the atheist closet. It's more like I've gone this amazing trip to a foreign land but can't talk to any of my friends or family because they've never been and have no interest in going themselves.

I find myself acting out here and there but I have to be extra careful because of the wife and kids. Still haven't got it together on how to explain it.

Somewhere in Joseph Campbell's work there has to be a way to reconcile this consciously. I know religion is mythology but what would be wrong with playing along and studying and applying it as metaphor?

Anyway sorry to get off topic.
Looking at the universe with new eyes.
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11-06-2014, 09:35 PM
RE: growing up again, what about you?
(11-06-2014 09:28 PM)U2spooky Wrote:  ...
listening to 70's and 80's punk music.
>>
I do feel more moody
...

>>> leads to The Smiths!!

So be careful out there Unsure

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12-06-2014, 12:04 AM
RE: growing up again, what about you?
I couldn't think of a better way to describe myself right now. I feel like I'm having to go back and learn everything all over again, only this time, I'm aware of how important it is and I can be in awe of it all. Everything has new enjoyment in it and I see the world through unbiased eyes. Not only do I have a new view on religion, I have new musical tastes, hobbies, friends, interests in movies and art, willingness to try new things like tasting food I've never had, and an all around optimistic outlook on life. I am always eager to learn something and I'm able to admit I don't have full knowledge of anything, especially when it comes to math. I'm glad this new perspective brings me peace instead of hesitation or discomfort. Growing up again is an amazing feeling when your original childhood was blurred with God's need for your attention and obedience.
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18-06-2014, 05:52 PM
RE: growing up again, what about you?
I can't say that it's strange if I'm relaxing with crayons, blinking at colorful yarn, collecting pretty stickers, going back over basic education, trying to build motivation for a change and reading books written for children.
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18-06-2014, 06:47 PM
RE: growing up again, what about you?
You're not weird. I mean, you MIGHT be weird, but if you are it's not because of that.

I'm going through the same type of thing. I'm trying to discover ME and discover what DISCOVERY can really be like.

A person very dear to me was badly hurt through a misunderstanding and miscommunication. For this, I am sorry, and he knows it. That said, any blaming me for malicious intent is for the birds. I will not wear some scarlet letter, I will not be anybody's whipping girl, and I will not lurk in silence.
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