having serious questions
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21-11-2014, 01:50 PM
having serious questions
So I don't think I believe anymore and am struggling with how to tell my devout christian wife that I don't know if I believe anymore. I am 35 and grew up in the A/G church. One of my problems that I am having is I have 2 kids 1 being in college and the other is 16 and in the 11th grade. Any advice would be appreciated.
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21-11-2014, 02:47 PM
RE: having serious questions
Hey there. I was just in your shoes. Took them off a little while ago. It's liberating.

No one can tell you how to address issues in your own life and in your own marriage. You've told us precious little about your situation, and SO much is none of our business. With that in mind, take any advice you receive with a huge grain of salt.

I did a few things. First, I became less of an initiator when it came to going to church. That was an easy, passive-aggressive way of demonstrating that I wasn't interested anymore. I never discouraged my wife. When she wanted to go, we got dressed, got the boys dressed, and we went. But it was never my idea.

Another interesting tactic would be to really, REALLY read the Bible, and talk about it. Not in a confrontational way, but in a way that said "this is just peculiar."

"Why do you think 'thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's wife' is in the Ten Commandments, but 'thou shalt not own people' didn't warrant a commandment?"

Ever look up those verses that Matthew says predicted the Messiah... and noticed they have nothing to do with the Messiah?

Seeds. Mustard seeds. Really tiny seeds.

Remember, with AoG, any doubt cast on the Bible can cause the whole house of cards to collapse, so you don't HAVE to go for the big things. Little things will do the trick just fine.

And if she says something like, "what are you trying to say?" and you're not ready to go full confessional, just say "I just never looked at it that way before. It just struck me as strange." Etc.

Bottom line, I guess, is that you don't have to lay it all on her at once. However long it took you, expect it to take her just as long, if not longer.

By the time I was ready to tell her where I stood, she was ready to tell me SHE had doubts. That made it a lot easier.

What the hell is a 35 year old doing with a kid in college? You stud!

Religion is proof that invisible men can obscure your vision.
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