how do I stop loving someone ?
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13-10-2015, 07:23 PM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
Some say replace or add.. there's plenty of room for sadness and love.

Add someone or something else. Or you can think and create some sort of art to channel the love/lack of able to express the love. I think I learned, perhaps for some people, not trying to stifle or replace the love is better.

"Allow there to be a spectrum in all that you see" - Neil Degrasse Tyson
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13-10-2015, 07:47 PM
how do I stop loving someone ?
(13-10-2015 01:14 PM)Ace Wrote:  the rejection wasn't recent, it was almost over a year ago
so this isn't a short term issue

A year? You need to see a doctor then. Seriously you need some help. A year is plenty of time to be over damned near anything at least to a point where you can go on with your life.
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13-10-2015, 07:50 PM (This post was last modified: 13-10-2015 07:55 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
(13-10-2015 07:47 PM)KUSA Wrote:  
(13-10-2015 01:14 PM)Ace Wrote:  the rejection wasn't recent, it was almost over a year ago
so this isn't a short term issue

A year? You need to see a doctor then. Seriously you need some help.

Stop that. Stop that now. I don't think you know what the fuck you are talking about. Are you seeing a doctor for this shit? If not you need to just shut the fuck up 'cause you are clueless. And if you are seeing a witch doctor your empathy is shit. ... Angry

#sigh
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14-10-2015, 05:54 AM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
If you really truly loved someone very deeply, it can take a while to get over them and that's okay Smile
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14-10-2015, 06:05 AM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
Ace, how old are you? Have you had any girlfriends in the past?

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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14-10-2015, 06:42 AM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?



Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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14-10-2015, 08:09 AM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
(14-10-2015 06:05 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  Ace, how old are you? Have you had any girlfriends in the past?

nope, I'm a 20 yr old schizoid
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14-10-2015, 09:47 AM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
(13-10-2015 01:14 PM)Ace Wrote:  the rejection wasn't recent, it was almost over a year ago
so this isn't a short term issue

Then you're embracing your pain, at some level. Stop carrying a torch.

Yes, it's easier to say it than do it. You'll still have to do it.
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14-10-2015, 10:09 AM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
(14-10-2015 08:09 AM)Ace Wrote:  nope, I'm a 20 yr old schizoid

I would say you are too young to worry about a rejection for so long (and you are), but now I'm more concerned about the schizoid part. Are you getting any treatment for it? Could this have to do with how you're feeling?

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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14-10-2015, 12:17 PM (This post was last modified: 14-10-2015 01:57 PM by Adrianime.)
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
(13-10-2015 12:22 PM)Ace Wrote:  I got rejected by the girl I love yet I can't seem to stop being in love with her no matter how hard I try to move on
Hi Ace,

I'm going to share some of my experiences with you in hopes that it helps. If not, then sorry for wasting your time.

First I do have a question. When you say "rejected by the girl I love." Are you talking about a girl that you were in a relationship with? Or a girl your just really really liked?

So here is my experience with women who are no longer in my life. I've been in love with 2 girls in my life, and thought I've been in love with 2 others. You only really realize it wasn't love after the fact. All of these girls still have a special spot in my heart, and 3 of them I would say I still love, even if it isn't romantic. Sometimes you forge a connection in life that time doesn't kill. I will always wish for, and hope-for the best for them no matter what happens to them. Their well-being is very important to me, even if we don't speak often.

For the two girls I was in love with, I'd say that years after the fact I was still deeply affected by them. Hearing their name or thinking of them would rattle me and often bring me down. Sometimes I would get lost in memories we had together, or the dreams we said would come true some day. I'll admit that crying at night alone in my bed was something I went through for a while. Being separated from somebody who was a pillar of support and happiness in your life can lead you to feel like so much less of a person. Especially when you are young. Years after my first love and I broke up, I spoke on the phone with her and it was amazing. Like no time had passed, we talked so fluidly. But knowing that she and I would never again be what we were still hurt, and I still couldn't take it. I guess what I'm trying to say is that even as time passes, that doesn't mean you will completely sever the feelings you have towards somebody you truly were in love with.

On the other hand, the girls I thought I loved and I are actually still good friends. One of them lives across the world and we talk every so often. She recently got married. The other lives in my hometown and we hang out several times a year.

Like other have said, time will heal things. My last love ended in a tragic way that I won't get into. That probably took a good 2 years to stop daily bouts of sadness, and another 3 or 4 years to stop thinking about her daily. But you know, life went on and I just continued to try to be the person I wanted to be. I tried to open up and let more people in my life. I tried to try new things while staying within my moral and personal boundaries. I tried to position myself for success so I can have the future that I want. And for me, it has all worked out great. I found that focusing on me really helped with my happiness. Even if it didn't make me forget, it made me realize that I can be happy as long as I love myself.

Another tidbit: I also agree with staying busy. Nothing makes loneliness burn like boredom.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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