how do I stop loving someone ?
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14-10-2015, 12:27 PM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTrQMyj1Xpj5NxOrgc_cFT...nM4AiHwlsA]

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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14-10-2015, 12:40 PM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
Great post, Adrianime. I think what helped me when my relationships failed is realizing that they failed for a reason--we just weren't right for each other. If I look back on my past rships with a clear, critical lens I can see that now. Even though breakups suck on every possible level, I realize that if I married any of those people (like I almost did on two occasions), we most certainly would have ended in divorce.

If this was someone you had feelings for (a friend maybe) who didn't return your feelings, of course that is painful as well. Rejection is never fun. Unfortunately, it's something that happens to everyone. You deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. Relationships need to have two sides, two people who are invested in being with each other. Two people who want like crazy to be with each other. There is nothing better than when you find someone who you know wants you just as much as you want them. You're still young and I know you'll find that someday even though you are hurting now.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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14-10-2015, 01:02 PM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
(14-10-2015 10:09 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  
(14-10-2015 08:09 AM)Ace Wrote:  nope, I'm a 20 yr old schizoid

I would say you are too young to worry about a rejection for so long (and you are), but now I'm more concerned about the schizoid part. Are you getting any treatment for it? Could this have to do with how you're feeling?


Quote:Schizoid personality disorder (SPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, and apathy. Affected individuals may simultaneously demonstrate a rich, elaborate and exclusively internal fantasy world.


when I was diagnosed with it the Dr told me it was the first time he'd seen anyone who matched the description for being a schizoid this much

also he prescribed a drug that he said would make my brain give off some kind of chemicals that would make me want to socialize but all it did was leave a weird taste in my mouth and nothing else so after a few months I was told I could stop taking it

also I doubt my disorder is causing my love problems though
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14-10-2015, 01:30 PM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
(13-10-2015 05:04 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Good God people. I don't think I've seen a thread with so many dangling musical allusions. I'd be pissed but the sheer # of them was just too impressive. I think there's a shitload more in there I haven't found. Bravo TTA, bravo. Clap ...fuckers





(13-10-2015 12:48 PM)Ace Wrote:  not a single day goes by that don't think of her, even when I'm doing things I enjoy she's always on my mind




(13-10-2015 12:53 PM)Ace Wrote:  I don't want to pretend to love someone else just to forget her, it feels to cruel a thing to do to someone




(13-10-2015 01:03 PM)Iñigo Wrote:  If she isn't into you, she isn't into you.




(13-10-2015 01:03 PM)jennybee Wrote:  You can't make someone love you back.




(13-10-2015 01:55 PM)yakherder Wrote:  The only thing worse than being in emotional pain is getting through it only to find that a chunk of your life has passed you by in the process.




(13-10-2015 02:32 PM)GenesisNemesis Wrote:  If I do not accept the facts, then I lose my peace of mind and that's not something I want to lose.




(13-10-2015 02:39 PM)wizardofthevoid Wrote:  After that, you'll begin to think of her more and more sporadically, and eventually your life will be so different that the memories seem to come from a different world.




(13-10-2015 02:55 PM)jennybee Wrote:  Lila McCann called "To Get Me to You."



You must have a computer file brimming full of several thousand videos. They've got to be categorized and titled according to artist, theme, music style and even decade because, voila! five or six are popped into a post, lickity-split.

The GirlyMan's magic video file. Rolleyes

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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14-10-2015, 01:44 PM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
(14-10-2015 01:02 PM)Ace Wrote:  
(14-10-2015 10:09 AM)undergroundp Wrote:  I would say you are too young to worry about a rejection for so long (and you are), but now I'm more concerned about the schizoid part. Are you getting any treatment for it? Could this have to do with how you're feeling?


Quote:Schizoid personality disorder (SPD) is a personality disorder characterized by a lack of interest in social relationships, a tendency towards a solitary lifestyle, secretiveness, emotional coldness, and apathy. Affected individuals may simultaneously demonstrate a rich, elaborate and exclusively internal fantasy world.


when I was diagnosed with it the Dr told me it was the first time he'd seen anyone who matched the description for being a schizoid this much

also he prescribed a drug that he said would make my brain give off some kind of chemicals that would make me want to socialize but all it did was leave a weird taste in my mouth and nothing else so after a few months I was told I could stop taking it

also I doubt my disorder is causing my love problems though

Ummmmm. I wouldn't say that. It's probably a big part of why you can't deal with lost love.

If you're unable to socialize then there is nothing to fill the void of the loss. You should see a therapist who can help you with your issues. Make sure it's a qualified therapist.

After a year a person should have moved on from this.

Therapy is what you need, otherwise you're stuck in a single moment hitting the replay button in your brain everyday.

This sometimes happens the people though. Don't feel like you're hopeless.

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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14-10-2015, 02:08 PM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
(13-10-2015 12:22 PM)Ace Wrote:  I got rejected by the girl I love yet I can't seem to stop being in love with her no matter how hard I try to move on

Think of it just as a feeling, an irrational one, it fades over time, for some quicker than others. It just takes time.

"Tell me, muse, of the storyteller who has been thrust to the edge of the world, both an infant and an ancient, and through him reveal everyman." ---Homer the aged poet.

"In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men. The Light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it."
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14-10-2015, 10:34 PM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
(14-10-2015 01:44 PM)dancefortwo Wrote:  
(14-10-2015 01:02 PM)Ace Wrote:  [url=https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schizoid_personality_disorder#Schizoid_sexuality][/url]

when I was diagnosed with it the Dr told me it was the first time he'd seen anyone who matched the description for being a schizoid this much

also he prescribed a drug that he said would make my brain give off some kind of chemicals that would make me want to socialize but all it did was leave a weird taste in my mouth and nothing else so after a few months I was told I could stop taking it

also I doubt my disorder is causing my love problems though

Ummmmm. I wouldn't say that. It's probably a big part of why you can't deal with lost love.

If you're unable to socialize then there is nothing to fill the void of the loss. You should see a therapist who can help you with your issues. Make sure it's a qualified therapist.

After a year a person should have moved on from this.

Therapy is what you need, otherwise you're stuck in a single moment hitting the replay button in your brain everyday.

This sometimes happens the people though. Don't feel like you're hopeless.

its not that I'm unable to socialize, its just that I only socialize with a few people who I know I can trust
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15-10-2015, 02:10 AM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
(13-10-2015 12:22 PM)Ace Wrote:  I got rejected by the girl I love yet I can't seem to stop being in love with her no matter how hard I try to move on

I will give you the advice I've gathered from a couple of experiences, one of which being an experience with someone that's here, actually. And this particular person will probably agree with what I am about to advise.

Separate yourself from her. Cut all the ties you have to. It sounds cold, yes, but sometimes it is needed. Especially if she keeps you up at night. Especially if her name makes your stomach turn and her face makes your body heavy. If the thought of her causes your misery, you have just as much reason to cut these ties and add as much space.

Ignore her, avoid her, block her from social media, remove her number from your phone.

Regardless of what many people may say, if you are in love with someone, maintaining a friendship will not help you move on faster. You need time, you need space, you need an absolute break from this girl. You need sleep and good meals. You need good friends to lean upon, outings to vent to, shoulders to cry on. You need hobbies. Something that you're passionate about, something that can distract you. Healthy distractions.

Most importantly, be safe.

Most of us, at least once in our lives, experience rejection. You are not alone. Plenty of people here have endured the same suffering pain that rejection causes. It is conquerable. You can do this. I promise.
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15-10-2015, 09:16 AM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
I felt this way about my first ex wife when we split. I ended up concentrating on my career instead, never looked back. Can't remember the last time she even crossed my mind.

Official ordained minister of the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Please pm me with prayer requests to his noodly goodness. Remember, he boiled for your sins and loves you. Carbo Diem! RAmen.
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15-10-2015, 03:33 PM
RE: how do I stop loving someone ?
Been there, it sucked!

I got over the heart break by realizing it did not reflect on who I was, it was her apathy and her loss.

I did date quite a few women, I realized the whole relationship thing is such a dicey proposition you have to detach, just let all of the goofy things/ attitudes you run into just roll off your back.

If you want a relationship, it's just a numbers game, date a lot, learn from each person, but don't let it get you down. Recognize at an early stage where someone is coming from so you don't get too involved with a lost cause and cause yourself a lot of heartbreak.

I had a demoralizing breakup about 4 years ago, I got right back in the dating game and met a great gal about three years ago and we are now married.

You can go from feeling like a dejected unloved loner to feeling back in control and sure of yourself in a very short time.

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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