how do you disagree with someone without making them your enemy
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05-04-2013, 11:02 PM
how do you disagree with someone without making them your enemy
I have ended up in another online argument heck this one started on the phone. it would seem like I need to practice assertive communication and in one particular area. that would be when i disagree with someone. Basically I have done this three times over the past year and I am not sure why. One in a forum called writers forum{and yes this us going on multiple forums} and another on the phone so how do you disagree with someone thought them felling like I am "running over them."

1. Striding and swaggering rootlessness without end. The precious flow of life.
2. one should fear sweet a blood stained flower.
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05-04-2013, 11:09 PM
RE: how do you disagree with someone without making them your enemy
I don't know the answer to THAT question, but I do know there are people incapable of remaining serene when it's being pointed out that they're wrong. I simply don't talk to those people Sad

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05-04-2013, 11:49 PM
RE: how do you disagree with someone without making them your enemy
Shotgun. Angel

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06-04-2013, 12:07 AM
RE: how do you disagree with someone without making them your enemy
Use reflective and empathetic statements. Some examples may be, "I understand you mean _____; I see that you are saying _______; I get you are describing _______; etc- it helps them feel heard and understood, in a sense validated).

Also try using what are called "I statements" (google this for more in-depth). Instead of phrasing things like "You are wrong, You don't make sense, You are messing up, etc" use "I can see ______ as evidence, I've understood this text to mean _______, I believe the meaning of this concept is _________, etc" It shows how you are viewing it so they can see it from your point of view and doesn't make it so you are shoving your view onto them to accept immediately.
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06-04-2013, 12:11 AM
RE: how do you disagree with someone without making them your enemy
Stop associating with dumb people. Bangin

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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06-04-2013, 01:06 AM
RE: how do you disagree with someone without making them your enemy
(06-04-2013 12:07 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  Use reflective and empathetic statements. Some examples may be, "I understand you mean _____; I see that you are saying _______; I get you are describing _______; etc- it helps them feel heard and understood, in a sense validated).

Also try using what are called "I statements" (google this for more in-depth). Instead of phrasing things like "You are wrong, You don't make sense, You are messing up, etc" use "I can see ______ as evidence, I've understood this text to mean _______, I believe the meaning of this concept is _________, etc" It shows how you are viewing it so they can see it from your point of view and doesn't make it so you are shoving your view onto them to accept immediately.

You are fluent in Corporatese I see. Smartass

"Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.” ~ Ambrose Bierce
“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's." - Mark Twain in Eruption
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06-04-2013, 01:12 AM
RE: how do you disagree with someone without making them your enemy
(06-04-2013 12:11 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  Stop associating with dumb people. Bangin

dumb and angry people.

But yeah, it could be that it's not you, it's the other person. And you aren't responsible for their inability to control their emotions,especially if you are being reasonable. Some people simply cannot deal with disagreement. If you disagree, some people take it personally, as if you are calling them stupid or an asshole. Usually,it's best to just not associate with people like that, unless you have to. Failing that, do what LadyJane said.
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06-04-2013, 01:28 AM
RE: how do you disagree with someone without making them your enemy
the thing is it doesn't just come up with religious discussion. it's anything i disagree with.

1. Striding and swaggering rootlessness without end. The precious flow of life.
2. one should fear sweet a blood stained flower.
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06-04-2013, 02:00 AM
RE: how do you disagree with someone without making them your enemy
(06-04-2013 01:06 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  
(06-04-2013 12:07 AM)LadyJane Wrote:  Use reflective and empathetic statements. Some examples may be, "I understand you mean _____; I see that you are saying _______; I get you are describing _______; etc- it helps them feel heard and understood, in a sense validated).

Also try using what are called "I statements" (google this for more in-depth). Instead of phrasing things like "You are wrong, You don't make sense, You are messing up, etc" use "I can see ______ as evidence, I've understood this text to mean _______, I believe the meaning of this concept is _________, etc" It shows how you are viewing it so they can see it from your point of view and doesn't make it so you are shoving your view onto them to accept immediately.

You are fluent in Corporatese I see. Smartass

Ha ha, nope! The day job requires extremely sensitive communication though (at some points I've worked with people found guilty of murder and other heinous crimes, no sense getting them angry or defensive lol)

(06-04-2013 01:28 AM)kunoxian drive Wrote:  the thing is it doesn't just come up with religious discussion. it's anything i disagree with.

So you are saying it doesnt come up in just religious debate but also in other areas of disagreement. Well, from what I've experienced, the technique I described should help in other diverse areas as well.

(See what I did there? Big Grin )
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06-04-2013, 03:04 AM
RE: how do you disagree with someone without making them your enemy
cool!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1. Striding and swaggering rootlessness without end. The precious flow of life.
2. one should fear sweet a blood stained flower.
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