how to want less
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15-11-2017, 01:07 AM
how to want less
I have a problem... I have to little money to pay attention to all my desirers. I would love to be able to afford something but that would require my ability to save money. the thing is I am impulsive and I switch my desired outcome twice a month. so I need help because I really don't get a lot of money to work with. basically I get $30 free and that's it. so in order to get more I need to want less. id here any advice that will help me here.

1. Striding and swaggering rootlessness without end. The precious flow of life.
2. one should fear sweet a blood stained flower.
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15-11-2017, 05:48 AM
RE: how to want less
(15-11-2017 01:07 AM)kunoxian drive Wrote:  I have a problem... I have to little money to pay attention to all my desirers. I would love to be able to afford something but that would require my ability to save money. the thing is I am impulsive and I switch my desired outcome twice a month. so I need help because I really don't get a lot of money to work with. basically I get $30 free and that's it. so in order to get more I need to want less. id here any advice that will help me here.

I'm not sure this will help but for me personally, I think of a combination of a few different things when it comes to 'wanting' things:

1. Do you really "need" something? - the amount of time I find myself impulsively going "YES" and rushing off to buy something is up there with anybody else, but if you stop yourself and say 'Is this something I need? Would I be fine without it?', you soon think it over, and 99% of the time, you will just skip it.

2. Thinking of others, in terrible places - ok so an odd one, but I did some charity work many years ago in Africa. It was to help build a school in a village way out of the city, in a place where the people lived in make shift houses, had no clean water/etc. Yet these people were some of the happiest I've ever seen, and they had literally nothing. So that tells me that nobody "needs" anything. After coming back I got rid of a lot of stuff I had, (Old games consoles/games/various stuff), because I was keeping it for little/no reason.

3. Bit of a strange one, but minor Buddhist influences - If I have this right, Buddhism teaches that the root of all conflict, no matter how minor or large, appears to be "stuff". IE, if you have something [pretty much anything] that somebody else wants, it causes envy/jealousy and that leads to many issues down the line. This one doesn't come into play so much, but I keep it in my mind.

I add these things in with simple maths, "if I have X amount of money, that is supposed to last me Y amount of weeks, can I afford to buy z?" , if the answer is no, then factually you can't do/buy something lol. That's not to say you shouldn't buy things, as we all do get stuff, but I try to make sure if I'm getting something, that it doesn't impact my life in anyway, like causing me to miss out on something else in the process. Maybe save your money where possible for a few months, and then get like 1 or 2 things, then you'll still have money left and feel like you've "earned" it in the process?

Hope that helps Smile

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15-11-2017, 06:42 AM
RE: how to want less
Just making lists of things you want during the month and then looking them over at the end of the month helps a lot.

A bunch of things will fall off the list with ease, others get reasoned away.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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15-11-2017, 07:03 AM (This post was last modified: 15-11-2017 07:50 AM by Thoreauvian.)
RE: how to want less
Just remember that by the end of your life, if not before, you'll be wondering how to get rid of everything you accumulated but never used enough.
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15-11-2017, 08:48 AM
RE: how to want less
[Image: 7fe976f4a40edcdfe2da66643b953bb70b7f9f1f...8ec0c4.jpg]

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15-11-2017, 09:43 AM
RE: how to want less
I think when you get caught up in a cycle of buying, it becomes really easy to keep doing it. I like the idea of making a list of things you want, then narrow that down to ten. Pick one. This may mean you need to save your 30 bucks for a few months to get whatever that one thing is. Shop on sale days. Black Friday is coming up, you should be able to get some decent deals on things. Shop consignment, ebay, crafted items like etsy, used book stores, yard sales, flea markets. Things like that.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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15-11-2017, 09:50 AM
RE: how to want less
The best way is to never buy anything on impulse. When you want to buy something, wait a few weeks or a month. If the desire has faded, then you didn't really want or need it anyway. If it's something that you do really want or need, the desire will still be there no matter how long you wait.

Of course, this requires some self-discipline (or poverty, where you literally don't have the money), but I can't think of any solution that doesn't require one or the other of those.

If being rich means having everything you want, wanting less is certainly the most reasonable way to get there.
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15-11-2017, 09:52 AM
RE: how to want less
(15-11-2017 05:48 AM)OakTree500 Wrote:  
(15-11-2017 01:07 AM)kunoxian drive Wrote:  I have a problem... I have to little money to pay attention to all my desirers. I would love to be able to afford something but that would require my ability to save money. the thing is I am impulsive and I switch my desired outcome twice a month. so I need help because I really don't get a lot of money to work with. basically I get $30 free and that's it. so in order to get more I need to want less. id here any advice that will help me here.


If I have this right, Buddhism teaches that the root of all conflict, no matter how minor or large, appears to be "stuff". IE, if you have something [pretty much anything] that somebody else wants, it causes envy/jealousy and that leads to many issues down the line. This one doesn't come into play so much, but I keep it in my mind.

I know this is a yogic principle from Hinduism, but could be Buddhist as well. I find this helps me curb my spending. The idea is you keep wanting more, more, more and are never truly happy with what you do have. That's one reason I made the gratitude thread. Additionally, continued purchasing of things--car, pool, bigger house, more clothing, more things--all of that takes time to upkeep. Additional upkeep of things and the constant need to have more money to buy more things when you don't have said money to purchase said things can cause additional stress. When you become overly focused on things, you can lose sight of what is truly important in life.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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15-11-2017, 01:14 PM
RE: how to want less
I basically give myself one treat a year. This year (and last, for that matter) it was a new guitar amplifier. Between the two, $450.

Desiring objects happens, but the important thing for me is remembering that while I can own things, I shouldn't let things own me. And I do that by focusing on the people and relationships in my life. Those are where the paydirt is.
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15-11-2017, 02:04 PM
RE: how to want less
If you really want to stop wanting stuff, I highly recommend a job where you have to move frequently, on short notice. All that stuff that seemed so desirable suddenly becomes very expendable when you have to pay for packing and shipping. It's magic! And suddenly, every new acquisition (or desire for one) goes through the : "Do I want it? Do I need it? Do I need it enough to do the work/pay to move it? How hard would it be to get rid of it?" questions.

Even if you aren't moving around now, is it possible that you might in the future?

I’ll be a story in your head, but that’s okay, because we’re all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh? Because it was, you know. It was the best.
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