i dont care about your beliefs
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24-04-2014, 09:35 AM
i dont care about your beliefs
just a little recap incase you are reading one of my posts for the first time, I've been devout Mormon my entire life up until 5 months ago.

so I guess I've been been experiencing a grieving process. I'm sad, I'm angry, I'm depressed, repeat..that sort of thing.

I've spent the last four months incredibly angry at outspoken theists and alienating them on my facebook. I'm angry about their insensitivity. I'm angry about their lack of empathy and understanding. I'm angry that relationships are not the same. I hate the drama and the rumors and assumptions.

I'm pretty damn depressed. That's normal, I take meds for that so its completely normal to say I'm happier than ever even though I'm depressed a lot. sometimes I'm depressed even more because of the change I'm going through.

I really believed in the Mormon faith. I really put my whole life their. I really respected the members and other Christians but now all my relationships are all fucked up. so I'm angry and I don't care about their beliefs and I don't have respect for them.

I'm angry that their answers sucked. I'm angry that I'm atheist and they think something is wrong with me. I hate their self righteous.

I guess I'm still moving through my dick stage. I just hate everything religious because they weren't able to tend to me in my time of need.

if it wasnt for my wife, this forum, and other exmormon forums I would go crazy.

I'm just so angry that I can understand their belief so well and empathize with them but they cannot do the same for me. they're a bunch of cowards.

I dont know. is it normal to be angry at religious people all the time at first when you leave church and come out as atheist?

Are my broken relationships from childhood just a cruel reality now?

Must I always feel like I should just hide my atheism?

Idk. I guess I'm just a but emo. I had no idea that correcting and changing beliefs was so difficult.

"A man should look for what is, and not for what he thinks should be."- Albert Einstein.

"We are just an advanced breed of monkeys on a minor planet of a very average star. But we can understand the Universe. That makes us something very special." Steven Hawking
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24-04-2014, 10:04 AM
RE: i dont care about your beliefs
It sounds completely understandable to me to be angry. After all, at the moment it must seem like you've been fooled by everyone that you trusted and feel like you have wasted a large part of your life. It must also feel like they have broken their promises with regards to trust, friendship and understanding.

We both know that it's more complicated than that in reality. Other people are conditioned and in the same trap you were, there's no one person to blame but rather a self perpetuating parasitic system called Mormonism. You may have been wrong when you were a Mormon but that doesn't mean to say that it was a complete waste of time. You learnt about human nature and how people can fool themselves and others and the importance of finding your own happiness. These are very useful lesson which your previous colleagues haven't learned yet for themselves. Lessons that each of us must learn in our own way.

This doesn't mean to say you should fight your anger. It's all part of the grieving process. Just accept that it is natural to be angry and that eventually you will move on to better things.
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25-04-2014, 06:40 AM
Rainbow RE: i dont care about your beliefs
I've been an atheist all my life. I went to a Christian elementary school, and confronted my teacher on religious claims and thinking. I did very well, and was energized (literally, my adrenaline was pumping for a long time). I was hoping for more debate, but it never happened again. I didn't use my energy for atheism again. There wasn't a real opportunity to do so.

My schools and community, although religious on paper, never enforced it outright (other than prayers, and church outings). It was more grueling ceremony, than indoctrination.

However, I do experience a similar story like yours, but it's more on political "religious" thinking. People/friends that hold certain political views that are irrational and dangerous that I've caught myself lashing out against, and alienating them/myself.

It was a feeling of being used, and continuing being used for irrational and unethical means. And the depressing realization people would rather live ignorantly, or support the system that's harming themselves and others.

My advice is - pick your battles, and your friends. Recognize your situation, what you have power over, and act on it. On situations where you have no power, be at peace with it. If there are people that bring you more harm than growth/pleasure, drop them.

Anger is only good as a tool to carry out immediate action. If you have no focused goal or course of action, you're going to blow up wildly with all that pent up emotional pressure. And that's going to cost you.
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25-04-2014, 07:10 AM
RE: i dont care about your beliefs
el, Congratulations on escaping the lunacy! Anger is not only justified but expected.

On another thread Charis Wrote:
I honestly believe that truly good people AND their goodness can be basically imprisoned by religious beliefs. An innately decent person held mentally hostage.

That was me and you and a zillion others, held mentally and emotionally hostage. To top it off the inmates are running the asylum and those inmates are usually your family and closest friends! When the veil lifts it is a life changing event, that's what you have been going through for the last five months.

You may already know the 5 Stages of Loss & Grief but here is a psych article about it anyway http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages...ief/000617. It helps if you know what to expect.

My suggestion to you is try to keep your emotions in check with your loved ones, they too will be going through these steps as they watch you separate from the fold.

No doubt you are a decent guy, remain that was as you deal with the trauma. A scorched earth approach is probably no the best way to approach this.
Vent here, be calm there.

Good luck.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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25-04-2014, 08:32 AM
RE: i dont care about your beliefs
[Image: tumblr_migwebbBbw1r6mv99o1_400.gif]

[Image: v0jpzpT.png]
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25-04-2014, 08:56 AM
RE: i dont care about your beliefs
The grieving process, while it has the same components for everyone in general, is unpredictable and uncontrollable. People may experience the same stages in different sequences, some may be so strong they dominate the entire process, some so weak you hardly notice them.

One thing is for sure though - it is hard, and it just has to run it's course.

The fact that you have no control makes it seem even worse. You just have to trust that your brain will sort it all, without much input from you, and it does get easier with time.

A bit of resentment will always remain, but soon you will be in control again. You just toppled the foundation of your self image, and it takes some time to regain balance. It's actually not them, it's you, but it will take time for the anger at them to dissipate.

Meanwhile, just allow yourself to feel whatever bubbles up... if you suppress it, it will just bubble up again.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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08-05-2014, 07:04 AM
RE: i dont care about your beliefs
Your anger probably comes from a play that says "they did this to me". It could also come from a place that asks "why can't they see that they're being played?" Your anger can come from many places. Just remember that you're dealing with a powerful mentally crippling system. It's only religion that can turn untested belief into unshakeable truth.

If you find yourself confronting people to share with them your new found truth, bear in mind that asking them to consider your ways is like telling a heavy drug user to go cold turkey. There will be great resistance. You're swimming upstream. Right now you're immature as I was. Give yourself time. Mature! Then with a clear understanding mind you can better engage. You'll also find that the frustration doesn't sting so much, but sting it will. You're like a blind man that just started seeing. You must first wait for your eyes to adjust to the light!

8000 years before Jesus, the Egyptian god Horus said, "I am the way, the truth, the life."
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08-05-2014, 07:20 AM
RE: i dont care about your beliefs
losing something and people that once was a huge part of your life has a grieving process to it. It takes time to work thru all the emotions, but I have found, taking the time to work thru them (and simply recognizing that its part of the process) helps move things along.

Hopefully you won't always see the damage and losses from religion, but can turn around and see all that you gained.

Not sure if I'm explaining this well, so here's some imagery.

your house burns down.
you are upset, left with nothing, angry because of the way it started, pissed when you find out that it was careless and stupidity that caused it, angry because those fireman you trusted to help you in an emergency didn't save it and now you have nothing, everything you loved is gone, you feel lost because you don't know where you are going to go or how you will move on.

and you stand there and cry, and scream, and cry some more.

and then, the insurance guy shows up and says he has another house for you, its across town. You have to make a journey, you cry the whole way, and you pull in and its the coolest house you have ever seen. Its got high speed internet, a pool, giant bed, maids, cooks, gardeners. All you got to do is open the door and everything you want is waiting for you. Its yours. There is a jet in the back with a pilot, a boat and whatever else you can think of. Just then you realize the fire was the best thing that happened to you. Yes, there are a few losses from the fire that will always be missed, but this new way is pretty damn sweet and you realize its ok that you survived the fire, that losing everything was ok, because you have gained so much more by taking that journey across town. And you start to smile and enjoy life without all those burdens of the fire.

so....stand at the burned out house and cry for as long as you need.....but get in the car, go across town, and get on with living the good life. Your world opened up when you walked away from religion, eventually you have to stop kicking the burnt embers and go look for something more fun.

"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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08-05-2014, 08:29 AM
RE: i dont care about your beliefs
(24-04-2014 09:35 AM)elconquistador Wrote:  I dont know. is it normal to be angry at religious people all the time at first when you leave church and come out as atheist?

Yes. I've observed this issue time after time - both on this forum and in real life. You are going through the processes attached to this particular kind of growth. These processes may be similar to the same stages one goes through when grieving death; denial, sadness, anger, embarrassment both at "being taken" and participating in one's own deception. Be assured there may be anger at every stage of this process.

Please, read through this thread on grieving the loss of god. and understand that what you have and are experiencing is really quite traumatic for the human psyche.

Adjustment will be ongoing... you are repairing what was torn up and replaced long ago. You are relearning - you are growing up again - and if anyone thinks growing up was tough the first time, try doing it as an adult. (think of this as your angry teenager stage)

(24-04-2014 09:35 AM)elconquistador Wrote:  I had no idea that correcting and changing beliefs was so difficult.

It is very difficult. Be aware, it is not unlike the process a rape victim might go through - there is emotional damage that is not easily whisked away. You may even have flashbacks ... I've heard this from recovering friends. It's very like a PTSD.

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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