i love her but is it time to give up?ADVICE PLZ
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31-10-2016, 11:41 AM
RE: i love her but is it time to give up?ADVICE PLZ
(31-10-2016 11:35 AM)Jsix Wrote:  also im not trying to be an asshole i know i put it in that she cuts. but can we not talk about that. i legit have flash backs to her arm covered in scabs from last time and it makes me cry and gives me nightmares. which is why she is trying so hard to stop

It's very hard to stop that sort of thing on your own because it is an obsession and falls under an anxiety disorder. Cutting isn't a habit, it's the result of something emotional going on inside her. That is why she really needs to speak with someone skilled in dealing with this sort of thing. As Syz mentioned, there are help lines and online support groups and there has to be a psychiatrist that can see her. Unless her mother is forbidding that too? If so, she can talk to the guidance counselor at her school and they should be able to get her resources to help. Actually, either way they can help put her in touch with help sooner.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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31-10-2016, 11:43 AM
RE: i love her but is it time to give up?ADVICE PLZ
(31-10-2016 11:37 AM)Jsix Wrote:  but is it better to end things now with closure of us being happy and maybe still have each other s backs but risk her hating me cause she doesnt want us to end. or just let it play itself out?

But her mom already made that decision for you guys. So it's not on you anyway. You can tell her you will always be there for her as a friend.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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31-10-2016, 11:44 AM
RE: i love her but is it time to give up?ADVICE PLZ
(31-10-2016 11:40 AM)Jsix Wrote:  i know that im not to blame for her cutting. all i can do is try to be there for her. she took the time to explain that to me before we even started dating

Definitely not your fault that she cuts.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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31-10-2016, 11:47 AM
RE: i love her but is it time to give up?ADVICE PLZ
she has gotten bullied at school for her cutting. her mom has been very verbally abusive over her cutting so her dad is trying to help her but he can only do so much and i dont want to push her cause i understand her reasons. so im just trying to help her stay clean and be as safe as possible if she decides to.
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31-10-2016, 11:49 AM
RE: i love her but is it time to give up?ADVICE PLZ
also her step dad is going to court for full custody soon he said her mom is wrong and to continue doing what we r doing . so one of her parents is on our side. he doesnt want me to stop even tho its getting her in trouble cause he sees im helping her with her depression and cutting and insecurities and sees all the good im doing. i just dont want to give up.
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31-10-2016, 11:49 AM
RE: i love her but is it time to give up?ADVICE PLZ
(31-10-2016 11:47 AM)Jsix Wrote:  she has gotten bullied at school for her cutting. her mom has been very verbally abusive over her cutting so her dad is trying to help her but he can only do so much and i dont want to push her cause i understand her reasons. so im just trying to help her stay clean and be as safe as possible if she decides to.

She really should talk to her guidance counselor. They will help her to find help and resources.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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31-10-2016, 11:50 AM
RE: i love her but is it time to give up?ADVICE PLZ
she thinks the guidance counceller will tell her mom.
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31-10-2016, 11:52 AM
RE: i love her but is it time to give up?ADVICE PLZ
(31-10-2016 11:50 AM)Jsix Wrote:  she thinks the guidance counceller will tell her mom.

If she asks her not to, she may not. Also, guidance counselors are skilled in dealing with this sort of thing.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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31-10-2016, 11:53 AM
RE: i love her but is it time to give up?ADVICE PLZ
i know. but like i said its not my place to push her i can give her as much information as i know and be there for her.
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31-10-2016, 11:54 AM
RE: i love her but is it time to give up?ADVICE PLZ
(31-10-2016 11:53 AM)Jsix Wrote:  i know. but like i said its not my place to push her i can give her as much information as i know and be there for her.

Right, you can only suggest and be supportive of her and give her all the resources to get help that you can. Ultimately, it's her decision.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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