joke
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
14-03-2012, 12:42 AM
joke
Saw this joke. thought you guys might like it.


Arguing with a Christian is like playing chess with a pigeon.

You could be the greatest player in the world, but the pigeon will still knock over all the pieces, shit on the board and strut around triumphantly.

I'm homophobic in the same way that I'm arachnophobic. I'm not scared of gay people but I'm going to scream if I find one in my bath.

I'm. Also homophobic in the same way I'm arachnophobic. I'm scared of spiders but I'd still fuck'em.
- my friend Marc
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 10 users Like TarzanSmith's post
14-03-2012, 01:16 AM
RE: joke
(14-03-2012 12:42 AM)TarzanSmith Wrote:  Saw this joke. thought you guys might like it.


Arguing with a Christian is like playing chess with a pigeon.

You could be the greatest player in the world, but the pigeon will still knock over all the pieces, shit on the board and strut around triumphantly.

Um... I thought you were a Christian Huh
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-03-2012, 07:07 AM
RE: joke
(14-03-2012 01:16 AM)morondog Wrote:  
(14-03-2012 12:42 AM)TarzanSmith Wrote:  Saw this joke. thought you guys might like it.


Arguing with a Christian is like playing chess with a pigeon.

You could be the greatest player in the world, but the pigeon will still knock over all the pieces, shit on the board and strut around triumphantly.

Um... I thought you were a Christian Huh

he's up to something ¬¬

[Image: sigvacachica.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes nach_in's post
14-03-2012, 08:33 AM
RE: joke
That's pretty good. Also everyone should realize that the only christians who seem to survive here, are fully capable of having a laugh at themselves.

In fairness:

Sorry I can't find any funny anti atheists jokes. Seriously I've been looking for like fifteen minutes. There's nothing i can find that is even remotely funny. And this isn't a case of me being too sensitive, you theists just aren't funny I guess.

I would love to hear a funny anti atheist joke if anyone can find one.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes lucradis's post
14-03-2012, 04:15 PM
RE: joke
Anti Atheist joke:

An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said,
"Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the total stranger, "What would you want to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the atheist. "How about why there is no GOD, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?" as he smiled smugly.
"OK," she said. "Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?"
The atheist, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss why there is no GOD, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death, when you don't know shit?" And then she went back to reading her book.


Q.What do you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an atheist?
Answer: Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.


And some christian jokes:

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
So I ran over and said, "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well, are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are your Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, Me too!
Are your Episcopalian or Baptist? He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are your Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord? He said, Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are your Original Baptist Church of God or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.

Bunch of stuff copied from the internet. Shy
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 5 users Like Dust's post
14-03-2012, 04:27 PM
RE: joke
Two atheists walked into a bar.



The Christian ducked.







Think about it, bitches!

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Erxomai's post
14-03-2012, 05:28 PM
RE: joke
(14-03-2012 04:27 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  Two atheists walked into a bar.



The Christian ducked.







Think about it, bitches!

[Image: what-you-did-there-i-see-it.thumbnail.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Dust's post
14-03-2012, 05:32 PM
RE: joke
nope, I still don't get it...

[Image: sigvacachica.png]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-03-2012, 05:45 PM
RE: joke
All of these jokes suck except for the first one.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-03-2012, 08:15 PM
RE: joke
Father Bob has had a long day of taking confessions when he has to take a piss. Unfortunately there is a long line and he doesn’t want to hold it up. So Father Bob quickly asked the church janitor to listen to the confessions while he runs to the bathroom.

“What do I say to them”, asked the janitor

Father Bob says, “Just tell them to say two Hail Mary’s and two Our Fathers”

The first couple went pretty well but then he had a man with a particularly bad confession. He confessed that he had received oral sex 23 times in the last month from five different women. The janitor didn’t think two Hail Mary’s and two Our Fathers was enough so he leaned out of the curtain looking for the Father to ask his advice. He wasn't around but Timmy the alter boy was.

“Hey, Timmy”, asked the janitor, “what does Father Bob normally give people for blow jobs?”

Timmy enthusiastically replied, “He usually gives me a Snicker Bar and a Coke”

.

.
I wasn't . . . until I was
I am . . . until I'm not
.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes free2011's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: