joke
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
14-03-2012, 09:52 PM
RE: joke
A priest, an Imam and a rabbi walk into a bar and the bar tender yells "What is this some kind of a joke?"
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
14-03-2012, 11:58 PM
RE: joke
The pope was about to address the crowd and was feeling a little anxious so he decided to go out the back and give 'it' a tug.
He started to climax and out of nowhere a tourist that was obviously lost rounded the corner, saw him, and took a photo!
The pope was devastated. He ran over to the tourist and said 'how much for the camera?'. The tourist looked at him and said, 'okay, $2000'. The pope knew he had no option but to pay. He paid the tourist and went back inside the chapel where his assistant came over to him and said, 'you look a little flushed, is there anything wrong' as he looked down he saw the popes camera and said, 'where did you get that from?'. The pope said, 'I bought it from a tourist'. His assistant asked how much he paid for it and the pope told him $2000.
His assistant said, 'wow, he saw you coming!'

Humankind Dodgy (a total misnomer)
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
15-03-2012, 12:30 AM
RE: joke
(14-03-2012 11:58 PM)aurora2020 Wrote:  The pope was about to address the crowd and was feeling a little anxious so he decided to go out the back and give 'it' a tug.
He started to climax and out of nowhere a tourist that was obviously lost rounded the corner, saw him, and took a photo!
The pope was devastated. He ran over to the tourist and said 'how much for the camera?'. The tourist looked at him and said, 'okay, $2000'. The pope knew he had no option but to pay. He paid the tourist and went back inside the chapel where his assistant came over to him and said, 'you look a little flushed, is there anything wrong' as he looked down he saw the popes camera and said, 'where did you get that from?'. The pope said, 'I bought it from a tourist'. His assistant asked how much he paid for it and the pope told him $2000.
His assistant said, 'wow, he saw you coming!'

[Image: pope.jpg]

I don't ever want to think about this and masturbation ever again.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes rook2004's post
15-03-2012, 02:07 AM
RE: joke
(15-03-2012 12:30 AM)rook2004 Wrote:  
(14-03-2012 11:58 PM)aurora2020 Wrote:  The pope was about to address the crowd and was feeling a little anxious so he decided to go out the back and give 'it' a tug.
He started to climax and out of nowhere a tourist that was obviously lost rounded the corner, saw him, and took a photo!
The pope was devastated. He ran over to the tourist and said 'how much for the camera?'. The tourist looked at him and said, 'okay, $2000'. The pope knew he had no option but to pay. He paid the tourist and went back inside the chapel where his assistant came over to him and said, 'you look a little flushed, is there anything wrong' as he looked down he saw the popes camera and said, 'where did you get that from?'. The pope said, 'I bought it from a tourist'. His assistant asked how much he paid for it and the pope told him $2000.
His assistant said, 'wow, he saw you coming!'

[Image: pope.jpg]

I don't ever want to think about this and masturbation ever again.

Why not?
Think again:

[Image: pope-bikini.jpg]

DISCLAIMER: If you find a message from me offensive, inappropriate, or disruptive, please ignore it.
If you don't know how to ignore a message, complain to me and I will be happy to demonstrate.

[Image: tta.php]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like KVron's post
15-03-2012, 03:22 AM
RE: joke
(15-03-2012 02:07 AM)KVron Wrote:  
(15-03-2012 12:30 AM)rook2004 Wrote:  
(14-03-2012 11:58 PM)aurora2020 Wrote:  The pope was about to address the crowd and was feeling a little anxious so he decided to go out the back and give 'it' a tug.
He started to climax and out of nowhere a tourist that was obviously lost rounded the corner, saw him, and took a photo!
The pope was devastated. He ran over to the tourist and said 'how much for the camera?'. The tourist looked at him and said, 'okay, $2000'. The pope knew he had no option but to pay. He paid the tourist and went back inside the chapel where his assistant came over to him and said, 'you look a little flushed, is there anything wrong' as he looked down he saw the popes camera and said, 'where did you get that from?'. The pope said, 'I bought it from a tourist'. His assistant asked how much he paid for it and the pope told him $2000.
His assistant said, 'wow, he saw you coming!'
I don't ever want to think about this and masturbation ever again.

Why not?
Think again:

I think that joke was highly disrespectful and also inaccurate.
The pope knows that it is a sin to spill your seed on the ground so he would never have done that.

He would have spilled it inside a choir boy instead!

[Erx... that is not a queue for you to post Palin singing "every sperm is sacred"]
[ps Michael, not Sarah!!!]

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like DLJ's post
19-03-2012, 08:04 PM
RE: joke
What's the only offical atheist holiday?

April Fools Day.

The old gods are dead, let's invent some new ones before something really bad happens.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Thomas's post
21-03-2012, 02:39 AM
RE: joke
here is some more.

Spending your life waiting for the Messiah to come save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece to come in Tetris. Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a mountain of shit so high that you're fucked no matter what you do.

I was thinking about becoming an atheist but I thought, "Fuck it, you don't get any holidays."

I used to tell a lot of religious jokes. Not any more: they put me on the sects offenders register

Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers

What film do atheists watch on Christmas?
Coincidence on 34th street

I'm homophobic in the same way that I'm arachnophobic. I'm not scared of gay people but I'm going to scream if I find one in my bath.

I'm. Also homophobic in the same way I'm arachnophobic. I'm scared of spiders but I'd still fuck'em.
- my friend Marc
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 4 users Like TarzanSmith's post
21-03-2012, 10:59 AM
RE: joke
(21-03-2012 02:39 AM)TarzanSmith Wrote:  Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers

As a mathematician I'm offended by this!Sad
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Jakel's post
21-03-2012, 11:41 AM
RE: joke
(21-03-2012 10:59 AM)Jakel Wrote:  
(21-03-2012 02:39 AM)TarzanSmith Wrote:  Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers

As a mathematician I'm offended by this!Sad

Afraid it's a given that mathematicians will be theists - I mean, where would you be without your imaginary friends Tongue
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like morondog's post
21-03-2012, 12:56 PM
RE: joke
The only joke that I told my mother that she liked after I became an atheist was this one. It's kind of lame, but in a way highlights the oddness of religion.

So an atheist dies and ends up at the gates of heaven. Looks around and things "wow, so there is an afterlife... and a heaven. Cool!" A person waiting nearby approaches and says they are there to show the atheists around, so they start going through all the groups of people that are gathered. "Oh, over here are the Jewish people. There are the Hindu. There are the Christians. There are all the secular people... they all seem to get along quite well together" the guide says. The atheist notices a group of people far-far away when they reach the edge of the current people. He points to them and asks "who's that over there..." "SHH!" the guide says, "you don't want them too hear, those are fundamentalists [I think I said something else to my mother, but can't remember what]. They think they are alone up here."

And of course, my favorite afterlife joke (which is why it's in my sig currently):

A theist and an atheist go to heaven.
theist: "See! There is a heaven."
atheist: "So, you consider heaven a joke too?"

Defy gravity... stand up. Drinking Beverage
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: