just need a friend or at least a ear
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11-11-2013, 10:45 PM
just need a friend or at least a ear
I feel like I'm spiraling back into a depression and I can't sleep, because honestly a lot lately I've been put on the spot and have been getting a lot of transphobia and homophobia towards me. Which really isn't entirely new only difference is it's gotten worse lately. Not going to go into details at this moment..
There's really no one I can talk to about this..I'm sorry I'm finding it hard to kindly open up....[/size]
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11-11-2013, 11:25 PM
RE: just need a friend or at least a ear
Wish I could give you a real hug. Stay strong Hug

I hope that the world turns, and things get better. But what I hope most of all is that you understand what I mean when I tell you that, even though I do not know you, and even though I may never meet you, laugh with you, cry with you, or kiss you, I love you. With all my heart, I love you. - V for Vendetta
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12-11-2013, 12:29 AM
RE: just need a friend or at least a ear
Any depression my constant companion. Honestly I can't remember a time when I wasn't depressed. I live with it and try not to let it bury me as it can so easily do.

Its one of those things people who have never suffered from it, never understand how it can be so crippling. Also very easily set off. I can be fine. All smiles. Then someone or something hits a trigger and I sink into myself. I become a turtle inside its shell. Only I can get myself out. I have to go through the motions until I feel comfortable enough to peek out and rejoin the world.

Its suffocating and exhausting. People also assume it just makes you sad and mopey. Sometimes I just get really mad. Its an emotional rollercoaster really. Being a depression veteran I've learned how to fake it till I make it though. It sounds dumb but it really does work for me. Pretend its all OK until its somewhat OK.

The issue that is always lingering is the big set off. Not the little every day ones. Those I can handle. But those big set ups with the big falls. The things in life that would set off even the most prolific of positive people. They do me in like a knife to the guts. Lots of those lately. Maybe that is why I came back here I dunno.

I hope you can power through the messy bits and hang on through the soggy ones. There are always good days in there. They exist. I swear.

Who hates gay people these days anyways. Other than the Russians...

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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13-11-2013, 03:18 PM (This post was last modified: 13-11-2013 11:23 PM by Ohio Sky.)
RE: just need a friend or at least a ear
(11-11-2013 10:45 PM)Raven11 Wrote:  I feel like I'm spiraling back into a depression and I can't sleep, because honestly a lot lately I've been put on the spot and have been getting a lot of transphobia and homophobia towards me. Which really isn't entirely new only difference is it's gotten worse lately. Not going to go into details at this moment..
There's really no one I can talk to about this..I'm sorry I'm finding it hard to kindly open up....[/size]

Are there any support groups in your area? One of my trans friends joined one in our area shortly after starting her hormone therapy and it's been a lifesaver for her. She even met and fell in love with another trans girl in the group. Without support from somewhere, it's really easy to feel alone and defeated. Most people have gotten past the point of being openly hateful towards gays, but trans is a whole new territory that is often misunderstood. My friend has experienced a lot of weird reactions to her transgenderism, particularly because she identified as a lesbian. Most people think she's stupid and confused - why would you become a woman if you want to date women? As if gender and sexuality are inseperable somehow.

Many people experience this. There's no easy answer. Hard work and lots of it is the only way to independence. Independence can often aid your social life, but in your case you will probably benefit most from finding a social environment where you feel safe and not judged on your gender identity or sexuality. I hope such a group exists in your area. If there is a counselor you've been seeing through your transition, maybe ask them for referrals to LGBTQ friendly groups or resources.

Good luck.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who has said it- not even if I have said it- unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha
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13-11-2013, 03:31 PM
RE: just need a friend or at least a ear
(11-11-2013 10:45 PM)Raven11 Wrote:  I feel like I'm spiraling back into a depression and I can't sleep, because honestly a lot lately I've been put on the spot and have been getting a lot of transphobia and homophobia towards me. Which really isn't entirely new only difference is it's gotten worse lately. Not going to go into details at this moment..
There's really no one I can talk to about this..I'm sorry I'm finding it hard to kindly open up....[/size]

Meditate throughout the night and blow your iPod battery on Cat Stevens.

That's what I do when I'm medically depressed.

Maybe it'll work for yeh, maybe not, but in the meantime: Hug
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14-11-2013, 12:43 PM
RE: just need a friend or at least a ear
Its a little cliche, but for depression, find an outlet! When I was dealing with some borderline-suicidal depression, I got into photography, got outside, enjoyed nature, forgot about people for a while, and it really got me back on the rational side of the line.
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15-11-2013, 04:41 PM
RE: just need a friend or at least a ear
Sorry it took me so long to answer. There's a few support groups in my area not sure where. I use to write and draw a lot, not so much nowadays.

~Adrian~
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15-11-2013, 04:53 PM
RE: just need a friend or at least a ear
(15-11-2013 04:41 PM)Raven11 Wrote:  Sorry it took me so long to answer. There's a few support groups in my area not sure where. I use to write and draw a lot, not so much nowadays.

I agree you need a support group. They don't just help because people will understand you, they can be a ton of fun.

[Image: dobie.png]

Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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15-11-2013, 07:27 PM (This post was last modified: 15-11-2013 07:47 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: just need a friend or at least a ear
(12-11-2013 12:29 AM)lucradis Wrote:  Any depression my constant companion.

I keep my black dog tranquilized chained up in its cage. After much pharmaceutical experimentation I find Seroquel to be the best bark collar. But YMMV.

(11-11-2013 10:45 PM)Raven11 Wrote:  I feel like I'm spiraling back into a depression and I can't sleep,

And it puts me to sleep too.

(11-11-2013 10:45 PM)Raven11 Wrote:  I'm sorry I'm finding it hard to kindly open up....

No worries. We got bigass shoulders here.

[Image: shoulder.png]

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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