let's celebrate the Easter myth with some of my favorite links disproving jesus
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04-04-2015, 05:35 PM (This post was last modified: 05-04-2015 09:18 AM by goodwithoutgod.)
let's celebrate the Easter myth with some of my favorite links disproving jesus
I prefer books to internet research, unless it is a highly accredited .edu site, but as I look over my list of favorite links disproving the story of jesus, I must shake my head at the fact that anyone could believe such drivel...if you are bored, or curious, here are some of my favorite links...

The first one is 377 reasons Christianity is false, some good stuff here..

http://www.kyroot.com/

http://www.inquisitr.com/1504964/jesus-never-existed/

http://www.scaruffi.com/politics/jesus.html

http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

http://listverse.com/2014/09/08/10-theor...the-bible/

http://www.truthbeknown.com/kimball.htm

http://skepticsannotatedbible.com/proph/long.html

and just for kicks, my annual Easter challenge to theists...

I have a small question...what happened on easter? I am not asking for proof. My straightforward request is merely that Christians tell me exactly what happened on the day that their most important doctrine was born.

Without the resurrection, there is no Christianity. Paul wrote, "And if Christ be not risen, then is our preaching vain, and your faith is also vain. Yea, and we are found false witnesses of God; because we have testified of God that he raised up Christ: whom he raised not up, if so be that the dead rise not." (I Corinthians 15:14-15)
The conditions of the question are simple and reasonable. In each of the four Gospels, begin at Easter morning and read to the end of the book: Matthew 28, Mark 16, Luke 24, and John 20-21. Also read Acts 1:3-12 and Paul's tiny version of the story in I Corinthians 15:3-8. These 165 verses can be read in a few moments. Then, without omitting a single detail from these separate accounts, write a simple, chronological narrative of the events between the resurrection and the ascension: what happened first, second, and so on; who said what, when; and where these things happened. Since the gospels do not always give precise times of day, it is permissible to make educated guesses. The narrative does not have to pretend to present a perfect picture--it only needs to give at least one plausible account of all of the facts.

One of the first problems I found is in Matthew 28:2, after two women arrived at the tomb: "And, behold, there was a great earthquake: for the angel of the Lord descended from heaven, and came and rolled back the stone from the door, and sat upon it." (Let's ignore the fact that no other writer mentioned this "great earthquake.") This story says that the stone was rolled away after the women arrived, in their presence.

Yet Mark's Gospel says it happened before the women arrived: "And they said among themselves, Who shall roll away the stone from the door of the sepulchre? And when they looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away: for it was very great."

Luke writes: "And they found the stone rolled away from the sepulchre." John agrees. No earthquake, no rolling stone. It is a three-to-one vote: Matthew loses. (Or else the other three are wrong.) The event cannot have happened both before and after they arrived.

Some bible defenders assert that Matthew 28:2 was intended to be understood in the past perfect, showing what had happened before the women arrived. But the entire passage is in the aorist (past) tense, and it reads, in context, like a simple chronological account. Matthew 28:2 begins, "And, behold," not "For, behold." If this verse can be so easily shuffled around, then what is to keep us from putting the flood before the ark, or the crucifixion before the nativity?

Another glaring problem is the fact that in Matthew the first post-resurrection appearance of Jesus to the disciples happened on a mountain in Galilee (not in Jerusalem, as most Christians believe), as predicted by the angel sitting on the newly moved rock: "And go quickly, and tell his disciples that he is risen from the dead; and, behold, he goeth before you into Galilee; there shall ye see him." This must have been of supreme importance, since this was the message of God via the angel(s) at the tomb. Jesus had even predicted this himself sixty hours earlier, during the Last Supper (Matthew 26:32).

After receiving this angelic message, "Then the eleven disciples went away into Galilee, into a mountain where Jesus had appointed them. And when they saw him, they worshipped him: but some doubted." (Matthew 28:16-17) Reading this at face value, and in context, it is clear that Matthew intends this to have been the first appearance. Otherwise, if Jesus had been seen before this time, why did some doubt?

Mark agrees with Matthew's account of the angel's Galilee message, but gives a different story about the first appearance. Luke and John give different angel messages and then radically contradict Matthew. Luke shows the first appearance on the road to Emmaus and then in a room in Jerusalem. John says it happened later than evening in a room, minus Thomas. These angel messages, locations, and travels during the day are impossible to reconcile.

Luke says the post-resurrection appearance happened in Jerusalem, but Matthew says it happened in Galilee, sixty to one hundred miles away. Could they all have traveled 150 miles that day, by foot, trudging up to Galilee for the first appearance, then back to Jerusalem for the evening meal? There is no mention of any horses, but twelve well-conditioned thoroughbreds racing at breakneck speed, as the crow flies, would need about five hours for the trip, without a rest. And during this madcap scenario, could Jesus have found time for a leisurely stroll to Emmaus, accepting, "toward evening," an invitation to dinner? Something is very wrong here.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. Of course, none of these contradictions prove that the resurrection did not happen, but they do throw considerable doubt on the reliability of the supposed witnesses. Some of them were wrong. Maybe they were all wrong.

This question could be harder. I could ask why reports of supernatural beings, vanishing and materializing out of thin air, long-dead corpses coming back to life, and people levitating should be given serious consideration at all. Thomas Paine was one of the first to point out that outrageous claims require outrageous proof.

Protestants and Catholics seem to have no trouble applying healthy skepticism to the miracles of Islam, or to the "historical" visit between Joseph Smith and the angel Moroni. Why should Christians treat their own outrageous claims any differently? Why should someone who was not there be any more eager to believe than doubting Thomas, who lived during that time, or the other disciples who said that the women's news from the tomb "seemed to them as idle tales, and they believed them not" (Luke 24:11)?

I ask this question in all seriousness, because it astounds me how people can believe in something so important and with such passion, yet not have actually looked at what it is they are celebrating/believing in.

You will find that the trip from A-Z via the gospels will lead you in 4 different paths.

Happy mythical Easter everyone, let's celebrate the zombie savior in all of his mythical glory.

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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04-04-2015, 05:48 PM
RE: let's celebrate the Easter myth with some of my favorite links disproving jesus
Well, along with zombie Jebus, Matthew said an entire zombie army invaded Jerusalem. Yet not one non-believer ever documented any of the other empty tombs, the spit rocks, the "great earthquake", and no Jew mentions anything about a split temple curtain. Hmm. Matthew actually does this with a straight face, (supposedly).

I've been working on evidences for "developed" theologies that are present already in the gospels, (which could not have had time at that point to actually have developed yet). Clearly they just made up almost everything.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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04-04-2015, 06:26 PM
RE: let's celebrate the Easter myth with some of my favorite links disproving jesus
Oh come on. It has to be true. My dogwood just sprouted stigmata all over it fuckin yesterday to remind everyone Christ was killed by Jews on a dogwood that will never grow tall and straight again.

Checkmate atheists!

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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04-04-2015, 07:30 PM
RE: let's celebrate the Easter myth with some of my favorite links disproving jesus
Jesus starts a zombie invasion:




Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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04-04-2015, 08:12 PM
RE: let's celebrate the Easter myth with some of my favorite links disproving jesus
Not sure if you'll count this GwG but I put my iPod in the laundry a few weeks back. It's been sitting in a bowl of rice ever since and I'm going to try an resurrect it tomorrow. Drinking Beverage

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
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04-04-2015, 08:22 PM (This post was last modified: 04-04-2015 08:30 PM by goodwithoutgod.)
RE: let's celebrate the Easter myth with some of my favorite links disproving jesus
(04-04-2015 08:12 PM)KidCharlemagne1962 Wrote:  Not sure if you'll count this GwG but I put my iPod in the laundry a few weeks back. It's been sitting in a bowl of rice ever since and I'm going to try an resurrect it tomorrow. Drinking Beverage

awesome! then theinquisition, buckyball, nurse, and I will all write the synoptic stories about the resurrection of the ipod...course none of our stories will be based on the real world, actual facts, and none of our musings will match the others, but as long as Nurse goes first, and we all use hers as a basis for our story....Angel

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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05-04-2015, 12:43 AM
RE: let's celebrate the Easter myth with some of my favorite links disproving jesus
(04-04-2015 08:12 PM)KidCharlemagne1962 Wrote:  Not sure if you'll count this GwG but I put my iPod in the laundry a few weeks back. It's been sitting in a bowl of rice ever since and I'm going to try an resurrect it tomorrow. Drinking Beverage
I will pray for your ipod. May the strength and grace of the prophet Steve breath life back into its holy circuits. Amen.

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05-04-2015, 01:42 AM
RE: let's celebrate the Easter myth with some of my favorite links disproving jesus
(04-04-2015 08:22 PM)goodwithoutgod Wrote:  
(04-04-2015 08:12 PM)KidCharlemagne1962 Wrote:  Not sure if you'll count this GwG but I put my iPod in the laundry a few weeks back. It's been sitting in a bowl of rice ever since and I'm going to try an resurrect it tomorrow. Drinking Beverage

awesome! then theinquisition, buckyball, nurse, and I will all write the synoptic stories about the resurrection of the ipod...course none of our stories will be based on the real world, actual facts, and none of our musings will match the others, but as long as Nurse goes first, and we all use hers as a basis for our story....Angel

Then just give it a few more decades and some nutter will rise and claim that they didn't resurrect an iPod, it was a Zune!

Praise Microsoft!

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05-04-2015, 07:23 AM
RE: let's celebrate the Easter myth with some of my favorite links disproving jesus
(04-04-2015 08:12 PM)KidCharlemagne1962 Wrote:  Not sure if you'll count this GwG but I put my iPod in the laundry a few weeks back. It's been sitting in a bowl of rice ever since and I'm going to try an resurrect it tomorrow. Drinking Beverage

Heretic! My USB stick was drowned in the washing machine and then baked in the dryer and emerged unscathed, according to scripture. Follow the USB, not the iPod deceiver.

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05-04-2015, 09:43 AM
RE: let's celebrate the Easter myth with some of my favorite links disproving jesus
The biggie to me is simply that even if all the accounts were true, Christians blew their analysis of the events.

God did not "so love the world" that he donated his boy- we TOOK him, tortured and killed him. For this we are forgiven????????

The Christian premise only works if Jesus volunteered to be killed with our salvation in mind. The only evidence for this is in the highly apocryphal Gospel of Judas which Christians reject in favor of 'Oh God, why have you foresaken me' which clearly shows he was an unwilling lamb to the slaughter.

This god once destroyed the world for less. He sent his son down to straighten us out and those few in the world who did not completely ignore him, found him irritating enough to eliminate in the cruelest way imaginable.

This is where the god of the OT surely would have given his mankind Etch-A-Sketch a shaking of biblical proportions.
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