my life in a shitty nutshell
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20-10-2014, 04:58 PM
my life in a shitty nutshell
I'm not asking for help. I just want to vent.

So this morning at 8:30 I woke up to a phone call from my mom crying. She had a car accident and totaled her car.

She was taking my little sister to school, and on one of the roads the sun can be really annoying in the mornings. She stopped at the end of the road because the sun was blinding her as she was going to turn on the next road, and then a guy hit her. Like yeah my mom was blocking the lane but she was at a complete stop. You would think it would be his fault because he was on a road where the sun wasn't blinding him and he could clearly see my mom at a stop, but it's my mom's fault for accidentally pulling too far into the lane and he's okay because he wasn't paying attention.

We only have one household vehicle and it's demolished now, so on top of losing our only source of transportation, my mom was also driving without insurance. Adding all of this up: my mom has no way to or back from work now. She's self employed and cleans houses for a living, so a car is somewhat of a necessity for her. Most of my family struggles/are pieces of shit, so we can't really count on anyone either (only very few.) With no car, she won't be able to work to make money to pay bills or anything. We could be facing canceled utilities and eviction. She also won't be able to make up money to pay for her fines and court fees for not having insurance, but she doesn't have court until the end of January. I just really don't want her to go to jail.

My mom is in her fifties. She's pretty active and in good health (for someone's whose been smoking since they were 14) but hours after the incident her chest started severely hurting. She can't stand up from the couch, toilet, or get out of bed on her own, and laying/sitting down or getting back up causes her to cry. And she literally will not let me take her to the ER (because they don't require you to pay upfront, they bill you later) and I could seriously easily find her a ride to the ER, but she's stubborn and won't let me help her, so I seriously do not know what to do. My little sister's face is mildly bruised, her face hit the dashboard (she's 11 and 50lbs to technically she shouldn't have been sitting in the passenger seat), and my mom hit her chest on the steering wheel.

Basically, in the situation we're in, I'm pretty sure we're going to end up with our utilities cut off in the next month or so. I'm not asking for help, I really just want to get this shit off of my chest because today has been fucking horrible and I'm worrying myself to the point where I haven't had an appetite all day. If push comes to shove and we do end up with our utilities cut off, that would force my mom and sister to have to live with either someone my mom worked for or one of my aunts that isn't a dick head, because if not, my mom literally has sisters that would call DHR on her to try and get my sister taken from her because my mom was staying somewhere that lacked power or water. I would have a place to go. I have a couple of options (some friends that take in homeless, extra roomies, etc. but I also have to consider transportation to college) but I'm just worried sick about what will happen to my mom and sister.

I feel like this is one of those situations that practically forces me to grow up faster than I want to. Like yeah, I'm 18, but I'm still somewhat of a kid. I don't necessarily want or need to go through this at my age, and yeah that sounds kind of selfish because "others have it worse" but still. I'm worried and today really fucking sucked. The end.
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20-10-2014, 05:22 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
Well, shit!

I had kind of hoped that when you were thrown out of the house several months back you would have found a different living situation.

What ever happened with your aunt and uncle finding out about money for your college? Did that ever work out?

Sounds like your mom has made a lot of bad decisions that have all piled up and the fallout is going to hurt you and your sister.

I don't have any answers other than to check the college for emergency assistance and if worse comes to worse then maybe a Job Corps situation. Unless you can figure out how to pack a bag and smuggle yourself onto a plane for England.

Sucks - a lot- let me see if I can come up with some ideas.

Hug

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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[+] 1 user Likes Anjele's post
20-10-2014, 05:31 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
(20-10-2014 05:22 PM)Anjele Wrote:  Well, shit!

I had kind of hoped that when you were thrown out of the house several months back you would have found a different living situation.

What ever happened with your aunt and uncle finding out about money for your college? Did that ever work out?

Sounds like your mom has made a lot of bad decisions that have all piled up and the fallout is going to hurt you and your sister.

I don't have any answers other than to check the college for emergency assistance and if worse comes to worse then maybe a Job Corps situation. Unless you can figure out how to pack a bag and smuggle yourself onto a plane for England.

Sucks - a lot- let me see if I can come up with some ideas.

Hug

My issue with finding a place myself has always been transportation. I rely on a friend who lives five minutes down the road to take me to college. I also haven't had any luck finding employment. I had an interview as a seasonal but I would've been relying on my mom for transportation so that kind of down the drain now. I also have friends wanting to get a place together but of the four of us, two of us don't have jobs or cars yet. If I get enough grant money in return next semester I'll be able to buy a car around February.

My dad and his sister have college money set aside for me, it's like 35K I think, but I can only use it for college. Like, I don't think I'm able to touch any of it for a car or anything. Which, I mean, for a decent used car I'd only need like $3000-ish, and once I get my grant money next semester I should have almost/around $2000 saved. Once I have a car and a job to pay for my own insurance living elsewhere wouldn't be a problem.

I'm not too worried about myself though. I'm more worried about my mom and sister.

Also, I WISH I could be smuggled over to England. Sad
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[+] 1 user Likes Ferdinand's post
20-10-2014, 05:39 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
Well shit is RIGHT.
dayam!

Im so sorry its just a mess right now.
Let me know if i can help.

((Huggzz))

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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20-10-2014, 10:44 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
Your mum needs encouraging to go to get looked at at a hospital. She can't move on from this situation if she is housebound and in pain. The healthcare system is stupid in your country as it is one of the most developed yet I read continuously of people of low incomes not going to get help because that help can potentially cost more than they will ever earn in their life.

Can you ring your utilities services and explain the situation to them? It is possible they may be able to help in some way and if not at least you will be fully informed of when any services may cease and can get prepared for it.

Your mum or somebody also needs to ring all of her cleaning clients and tell them. Better to explain what has happened rather than just not turning up.

Check what your college fund is actually for. I understand that the money may only be for courses, materials etc etc... but there might be some way to free some of it as you can explain that without a car, the rest of the money is pointless as you may not be able to get to college.

I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing.
I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond.
I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown.
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20-10-2014, 11:58 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
I don't know about Alabama, but in some states if you have minor children in the house and no income you can apply for the government to pay your utility bills. You should look into this.
I'm sorry about the rest of the stuff too. I wish I had advice. If I was there I'd just let your mom use my car. She needs to get to the hospital, there's no need to be worried about the bill. Before she leaves she just asks for an indigent application. If she gets better she can bum rides for work until she figures something out. Anyways let me know if you need anything. I will help if I can. I love you Ferdi. Keep your head up ok, it's going to be okay. Hug

Swing with me a while, we can listen to the birds call, we can keep each other warm.
Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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21-10-2014, 08:40 AM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
1. Call Social services NOW. Most places have emergency funds for utilities and rent, food and health care.

2. start selling stuff. your family needs a vehicle. You do not need a tv and a ton of other things. keep the computer because it provides access to jobs and education.

3. you need to CONFIRM if any of your college money from your Dad can be used for a car. Explain what bemore mentioned above.

4. your mother is irresponsible, if you want a future, you need to stop depending on her. Move, join the military, get a job you can walk to, whatever it takes but she will pull you down with her until you are both drowning.

5. if another responsible person offers to care for your sister LET THEM. Consider it a life line for her to get away from your irresponsible mom.


Was the car paid off? sell it for scrap metal or parts. Do not just let it go, get some money out of it somehow.


Hug because i know this isnt easy.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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21-10-2014, 08:43 AM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
^excellent advice.

Hug

Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
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21-10-2014, 09:04 AM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
Nothing to offer 'cept Hug

Lots of good sounding ideas posted already. Wishing all the very best for you, as best can be.

Much cheers to all
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21-10-2014, 09:29 AM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
Hmmm... Well if you lived in Canada, the health care is covered. Just don't be dying in the next 8 hours, cause emergency room wait times are ridiculous. Also, no power would probably mean freezing to death... So I guess that doesn't work.

Seekingarrangement.com - Go find a sugar daddy. I mean, what have you got to lose? ..other than your life maybe... But seriously, my cousin was on that site, some guy bought her an iPad, various clothes and shoes, a ticket to Germany (just because she wanted to go there), and the only physical contact they had was a hug. Lol, fat old rich millionaires...
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