my life in a shitty nutshell
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21-10-2014, 05:27 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
(21-10-2014 05:26 PM)Revenant77x Wrote:  
(21-10-2014 05:24 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  I wonder if we can really make this assumption.

Prior actions and a drug habit say yes.

I see.

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21-10-2014, 05:29 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
Ferdi you have the chance for a good future - don't let someone else's bad decisions in life take that from you.

We are on your side and we want you to succeed. Heart

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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21-10-2014, 05:32 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
(21-10-2014 05:26 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(21-10-2014 05:24 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  I wonder if we can really make this assumption.

After the boyfriend using Ferdi's SSN to claim her on his taxes - I put nothing past what will be done to use her for financial gain.

That had slipped my mind. I remember that now.

Both choices are hard to make. Either help, and possibly (most-likely, apparently) get fucked over. Or leave and try to secure your future ( and work towards helping your sister).

Fuck this.

I can't solve it, and it enrages me that I can't.

Consider all options: Do what's best for you, your sister, and then your mother. In that ORDER. Do not deviate from it.

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21-10-2014, 05:57 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
Well I just had my dad call me again and things come down to two scenarios:

1.) The selfish solution, which consists of me just waiting to see how this situation plays out. My aunt Martha is only going to dip into my college funds for me if the car is in my name and it benefits me, because it's my education money. I could use the money for a car for myself, but not get the car immediately. Save it until next semester, let this entire situation with my mom play out and see what happens, risking what could possibly be a load of regrets if I don't use the money to help my mom.

2.) Use the money for my mom a car, but make it clear that my mom needs to save around $25 or $50 a week ($100-$200 a month) for a second car, because the money I'm giving her is supposed to be mine for a car, but I'm giving it to her, so it's only fair that she saves for what is important, and not spend her money on wants instead of needs. And if she doesn't save the requested $25-$50 a week I repossess the car because it's mine. It will be in my name, and it will need to be insured at all times. And if that's too much for her, then I don't know if I can or should give her the money for the car.
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21-10-2014, 06:00 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
I think my vote is pretty obvious.

Let this just sit a while. As long as she thinks she can get her hands on your money she isn't going to work on solutions - which is what she should be doing as a mom.

Don't do anything hasty.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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21-10-2014, 06:04 PM (This post was last modified: 21-10-2014 06:08 PM by Atothetheist.)
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
Do whatever you feel you need to do. I will not voice my opinion on the two choices. However I have follow up questions:

Let's say you go with Scenario 1: Will you and your sister be provided for in a capacity? If so, is this capacity better than scenario 2?

Scenario 2: Let's say you repossess the car, what will you do with it? How will you ensure she saves, or has gotten it insured? Will you sell it and possibly go back to scenario 1?

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21-10-2014, 06:05 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
If you want to help your mom, I think a serious plan needs to be written down and agreed upon. Make a contract and hold her to it. Requirements: insurance, saving money, Ferdi has a key to the car at all times and will use it ANYTIME she needs it. Definitely make conditions clear. Hell, you could even get a contract notarized so it's official.

I think you could go ahead and try to get your license. See how you do. Even if you're nervous and drive like a grandma, you might still pass Tongue

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21-10-2014, 06:06 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
(21-10-2014 06:05 PM)Colourcraze Wrote:  If you want to help your mom, I think a serious plan needs to be written down and agreed upon. Make a contract and hold her to it. Requirements: insurance, saving money, Ferdi has a key to the car at all times and will use it ANYTIME she needs it. Definitely make conditions clear. Hell, you could even get a contract notarized so it's official.

I think you could go ahead and try to get your license. See how you do. Even if you're nervous and drive like a grandma, you might still pass Tongue

If Alabama's driving test is like Indiana's you will pass no problem. I didn't drive for a whole year before I took my test and I still passed.

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21-10-2014, 06:16 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
(21-10-2014 06:04 PM)Atothetheist Wrote:  Do whatever you feel you need to do. I will not voice my opinion on the two choices. However I have follow up questions:

Let's say you go with Scenario 1: Will you and your sister be provided for in a capacity? If so, is this capacity better than scenario 2?

Scenario 2: Let's say you repossess the car, what will you do with it? How will you ensure she saves, or has gotten it insured? Will you sell it and possibly go back to scenario 1?

Scenario 1: I would be provided for because I have reliable options to stay with. My sister I'm not too sure about, and I'm not capable of taking care of her. My mom and sister, if they do become homeless, would probably move in with one of my aunts.

Scenario 2: Well if I were forced to repossess it I'd probably immediately move in with a friend, but I know that if I leave home on negative terms with my mom she's going to keep some of my possessions from me. If I leave home on good terms with my mom she won't care what I take when I move. I'd know she was saving because she'd be adding the money to a bank account that I own, so I could monitor what money was put into the account. As for making sure the she constantly has it insured, idk. I'd probably ask for a statement of some kind if she receives one.
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21-10-2014, 06:18 PM
RE: my life in a shitty nutshell
(21-10-2014 06:16 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  Scenario 1: I would be provided for because I have reliable options to stay with. My sister I'm not too sure about, and I'm not capable of taking care of her. My mom and sister, if they do become homeless, would probably move in with one of my aunts.

Scenario 2: Well if I were forced to repossess it I'd probably immediately move in with a friend, but I know that if I leave home on negative terms with my mom she's going to keep some of my possessions from me. If I leave home on good terms with my mom she won't care what I take when I move. I'd know she was saving because she'd be adding the money to a bank account that I own, so I could monitor what money was put into the account. As for making sure the she constantly has it insured, idk. I'd probably ask for a statement of some kind if she receives one.

If you did stay and help her, and if you had a proper contract drawn up as some people have suggested, you could always add clauses that entitle you legally to any possessions you are worried about her trying to deny you. That way if she did try and keep them from you, you could always sue for their return.

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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