my mental health- Am a mess
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18-06-2016, 02:22 PM
RE: my mental health- Am a mess
feeling crappy at the moment its fathers day tomorrow and all i can think is of my step dad ...my BIO dad is non existent he says he on he too ill to visit us and we in scotland and he in york and he too ill to visit us but is well enough to go to spain for 3 months
he been out of my life for years and years saying his wife was going to kill herself if he saw us he not been in my life at all
my step dad was more of a dad that my bio dad at lest my step dad made sure we had food and somewhere to live he worked nights and family friends would look after us while my mum worked as well .my sister tried to tell my mum but she was called an attention seeker ...





SadcryfaceWeeping
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18-06-2016, 02:52 PM
RE: my mental health- Am a mess
Hug
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18-06-2016, 03:01 PM
RE: my mental health- Am a mess
I'm so sorry to hear this. All my sympathies I send to Scotland and you. Do you have any hobbies that might keep your mind busy?

Shakespeare's Comedy of Errors.... on Donald J. Trump:

He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere,
Ill-fac’d, worse bodied, shapeless every where;
Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind,
Stigmatical in making, worse in mind.
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18-06-2016, 03:13 PM
RE: my mental health- Am a mess
I dont have any hobbies Undecided my hobby is being online its the only thing i do i use to write out parts of the bible but am thinking of getting some atheist books and authors on why the bible isn't valid Drinking Beverage
Einstein
i dont watch much tv but am interested in history there is the history channels
i need to try and get things to do
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18-06-2016, 04:26 PM
RE: my mental health- Am a mess
Hey checking in with you. We are in the same time zone after all. How is it going at the moment?

If you need to keep your mind busy, maybe watch some stuff on Netflix or on Youtube. If you need to talk instead, just write here.

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
- Wotsefack?! -
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18-06-2016, 11:39 PM
RE: my mental health- Am a mess
(16-06-2016 02:45 AM)DarkAsylum Wrote:  OCD Scrupulosity
am having problems with being an atheist
my ocd gives me thoughts that am evil for being an atheist
Schizophrenia
voices tell me am going to hell ...i see demons and devils

depression and GAD
i cant go out the house on my own my husband has to come with me because in the past i have been a danger to myself and others and my anxiety is bad i self injure and have an eating disorder also ( am kinda a mess )
i take medication for them all some times it helps sometimes it dont
i cant work and my husbands my full time carer am also stressed due to a disabilty benefit review been waiting for months to hear anything
grief
i lost my step dad to suicide he jumped from a bridge ..a bridge i have to go over every day i go into town
i am getting group therapy for mindfulness and its helping some i need to be logical keep my mind from making me fell bad for being an atheist ... am a new atheist - i was also abused from a young age by a priest and Catholic friends of the family who are now dead my sister ( who was also abused )and husband knows about the rest of my family dont know about it and will never know about it
i have no kids i have two cats and my teenage nieces stays over every fortnight
and my sister who also had mental health problems
i have to fight my mind every day ...some times i win sometimes it wins Goodevil

I am qua.

#sigh
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19-06-2016, 10:35 AM
RE: my mental health- Am a mess
(18-06-2016 04:26 PM)Leela Wrote:  Hey checking in with you. We are in the same time zone after all. How is it going at the moment?

If you need to keep your mind busy, maybe watch some stuff on Netflix or on Youtube. If you need to talk instead, just write here.

Am really struggling i keep going to make plans about going to church then changing my mind my husband isnt happy with me as i keep changing things over and over
i feel guilty for going away from my church my sister who dont have much money get some food from there and i dont know if she is going back there and if she starves its my fault she dont get that much money and there is only so much me and my husband can do for her for her
the only things i do is be online i did at one point watch anime ...only watched 2 of them my ocd made me feel that am doing something evil about anime
i think i should watch some ...i read books like harry potter but then again i was thinking theses books where evil and stopped reading them
i have no clue what to do with myself i have too much time on my hands because i dont work i would volunteer somewhere but i can says ill can do it every week or day as am ill
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19-06-2016, 02:07 PM
RE: my mental health- Am a mess
(19-06-2016 10:35 AM)DarkAsylum Wrote:  my mind my husband isnt happy with me as i keep changing things over and over

That's just anxiety talking. Your husband knows it. I seriously doubt he is angry.

(19-06-2016 10:35 AM)DarkAsylum Wrote:  i feel guilty for going away from my church my sister who dont have much money get some food from there and i dont know if she is going back there and if she starves its my fault she dont get that much money and there is only so much me and my husband can do for her

Take her in. That's what me and Manly did.

(19-06-2016 10:35 AM)DarkAsylum Wrote:  i have no clue what to do with myself i have too much time on my hands because i dont work.

ManlyGirl took up crochet and knitting and needlepoint. There are many way to sedate my Black Dog but I have not yet found a way to euthanize the bitch.

#sigh
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20-06-2016, 05:58 AM
RE: my mental health- Am a mess
there isn't enough room for my sister here we live in a flat we be fighting if we lived together my sisters had bipolar she can snap at any time
she want to live in her own house which she has she just finding it hard because she dont work and is sick she needs to sort herself out she got a boyfriend who is trying to help her as well they dont live together but he up for days at a time

Today am going to a mindfulness group then the LGBT group havent been there for a while be good to see the people there
i think your right its is anxiety
av been programed from a young age to just accept a lie
i need to keep busy

i cant knit or crochet but i do do art am that good at art but ill give it a bash
av just been to my dr she wants me to be more active so we are going to do the gym at some point
i love the gym especially the treadmill i can listen to music and work out
and i love going swimming am not a strong swimmer
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19-07-2016, 04:01 AM (This post was last modified: 19-07-2016 04:06 AM by Dworkin.)
RE: my mental health- Am a mess
(16-06-2016 02:45 AM)DarkAsylum Wrote:  i have to fight my mind every day ...some times i win sometimes it wins Goodevil

DarkAsylum,

Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time with so many challenges.

After reading your whole OP carefully, your line above really impressed me. Over the years, as a depression/anxiety sufferer, I have thought a lot about fighting a disturbed mind. The question was, should we engage with all the nasty stuff that the mind throws up or try to step aside? I'm not talking about running away, which we can't do, but gradually learning to ignore the bad thoughts.

Of course, your bad stuff might be many, many times worse than mine, but the strategy could still work. As the bad thoughts come, they want us to engage with them, to get our attention, and maybe that sucks us straight back into the illness. Instead, I try to leave them alone, and they do gradually fade. The best outcome is when the thoughts are just like a radio playing in another room.

Maybe you've already tried this, or something similar in the mindfulness group? I sincerely hope you get some recovery soon from such a hard experience.

Good thoughts,

D.
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