my mom never wanted me and she said so
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25-09-2015, 03:01 AM (This post was last modified: 25-09-2015 03:08 AM by Thumpalumpacus.)
RE: my mom never wanted me and she said so
Part of the art of life is deciding which connections you should cut. It's never easy, but it is vital.



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25-09-2015, 03:04 AM
RE: my mom never wanted me and she said so
(25-09-2015 01:34 AM)purpledaisies Wrote:  ....but my heart my hurts.

Hug
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25-09-2015, 03:11 AM
RE: my mom never wanted me and she said so
(25-09-2015 03:04 AM)Peebothuhul Wrote:  
(25-09-2015 01:34 AM)purpledaisies Wrote:  ....but my heart my hurts.

Hug

Thank you everyone for the hugs. Ive been crying the last 2 days. Ive lost my whole family over night. The reason I say this is because first my sister shares a brain with my mom and second I've never had a good relationship with with my brother he is a hard core backwoods thinking Christian and theny other brother that we were close but after this idk. My grandma is dead and my aunts all live in other states.

I can say that even with my mil and her being religious she has been more of a mom to me then I've ever had. At least I have that but she too lives in another state.

I have one friend besides my husband that is there for me but she has a fibermyalogia (I don't know how to spell that) and she is not always there which I understand.
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25-09-2015, 03:35 AM
RE: my mom never wanted me and she said so
I'm pretty shit at giving advice about life stuff like this, mostly because I'm a dick but also because I'm not personally in your situation.

BUT if it was me and she was telling everyone in the family a bunch of lies to turn them against you I'd be fucking pissed and I would just forward all the texts to the rest of the family so they can see the whole picture. Especially the ones where she says she hates you and wishes she never had you etc..
If she's allowed to get away with it and is even encouraged (unknowingly by misinformed family) than she's going to continue to be a fucking bitch.

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25-09-2015, 03:53 AM
RE: my mom never wanted me and she said so
(25-09-2015 03:35 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  I'm pretty shit at giving advice about life stuff like this, mostly because I'm a dick but also because I'm not personally in your situation.

BUT if it was me and she was telling everyone in the family a bunch of lies to turn them against you I'd be fucking pissed and I would just forward all the texts to the rest of the family so they can see the whole picture. Especially the ones where she says she hates you and wishes she never had you etc..
If she's allowed to get away with it and is even encouraged (unknowingly by misinformed family) than she's going to continue to be a fucking bitch.

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Fucking earmuffs, I always tend to agree with him! Big Grin

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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25-09-2015, 04:44 AM
RE: my mom never wanted me and she said so
I'm so sorry and can empathize with your situation. My mother let me know every day that I (as the oldest child) had ruined her life, and as a kid I blamed myself for not being good enough for her to love me. As an adult, I realized that she wasn't going to change, and I stopped trying. Not going to say that wasn't very painful, but ultimately it was less painful than keeping up a relationship with her.

It doesn't sound as if she has your best interests at heart, and shame on her for that. She doesn't deserve a continuing relationship with you, unless you grant it to her. The person she should be praying for is herself.
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25-09-2015, 05:19 AM
RE: my mom never wanted me and she said so
It's a crappy thing when you realize, finally, that your own mother doesn't love you...probably never did or ever will. The decision to make the break is not made over night and is a hard decision to come to, and one that other people tend to disagree with. I heard a lot of 'honor thy father and mother' sentiments.

It was about ten years ago when I finally made the cut from mine. Lies and manipulations had come to light...I finally found out that the rift between my father, siblings, and I was created and fed by my mother.

Sorry you are in a similar position.

Just because someone is family doesn't mean they aren't toxic. Breaking away is sometimes what you have to do to take care of yourself.

Hugs.

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF
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25-09-2015, 06:01 AM
RE: my mom never wanted me and she said so
Just ask yourself: If this was not my mom, and we had no history and just met, would I like this person? Would I find common ground there? Would I seek a friendship or allow her to pursue a friendship with me?

Then take some time out, several months of no contact, and ask yourself that question again.

One gets very emotional about things that happen with relatives, especially parents. But parents are just people with their own load of crap to carry around. I am sure there are lots of parents who wish they had not given birth. They just don't take it out on their kids, and they don't tell them that.

I was an unwanted child also, I arrived way late in my parent's life after several children died. They sure didn't want to go through it all over again. But, since I was there, they tried like heck to keep me healthy and safe. In my case, I didn't find out about that until I was 40, and then it was like two women sharing life experiences. Finding out I was unwanted even strengthened my gratefulness and affection - she raised me and loved me and gave it her all despite of that. She was a person I would have chosen as friend any day.

So it's not so much whether you were wanted or not, although it's hard not to take that personal, that part is not personal. You were not even a person yet when that happened. It's about the character of the mother. Yours doesn't sound like a very nice person at all, but if you take a good chunk of time out and leave the emotions behind, you might find some common ground.

So that would be my recommendation - take time out. Maybe you will just feel relief, or maybe there will be parts you want to revive. Only time will tell.

Hug

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25-09-2015, 06:14 AM
RE: my mom never wanted me and she said so
(25-09-2015 02:09 AM)purpledaisies Wrote:  Well I'm done. It took me 40 years of a one sided relationship to say I'm done.

Ps my mom used to take my hair and wrap of around her arm and grab the back of my head and slam it in the wall. She would tell dad I attacked her and she was defending herself. I was 14 when I told her that was the last time bitch. And i was always her bitch. Thats was what she called me. Of course never in front of anyone. However my husband has been with me since I was 19 on and off til 12 years ago and he has seen the shit she has done to me. This is not the first time she sent me a nasty text and tell dad that I started a fight with her. Then dad will jump my ass. Fimally my husband had enough and told them both off.

Hug I'm so sorry your mother treats you like this. I know it hurts but she is not a healthy person for you to be around. She sounds like she is both physically and verbally abusive. You don't deserve to be treated that way. You are a nice person and deserve to be treated with respect. I'm so glad you have your husband who seems to love you dearly. Focus on that and limit your contact with your mom.
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25-09-2015, 06:34 AM
RE: my mom never wanted me and she said so
(25-09-2015 03:11 AM)purpledaisies Wrote:  
(25-09-2015 03:04 AM)Peebothuhul Wrote:  Hug

Thank you everyone for the hugs. Ive been crying the last 2 days. Ive lost my whole family over night. The reason I say this is because first my sister shares a brain with my mom and second I've never had a good relationship with with my brother he is a hard core backwoods thinking Christian and theny other brother that we were close but after this idk. My grandma is dead and my aunts all live in other states.

I can say that even with my mil and her being religious she has been more of a mom to me then I've ever had. At least I have that but she too lives in another state.

I have one friend besides my husband that is there for me but she has a fibermyalogia (I don't know how to spell that) and she is not always there which I understand.

You have more than one friend. I know it is another context, but we are here.

I shall PM my skype and will listen. Let me know your name in the response so I do not block you. I keep getting contacts from young women I don't know and block them. I will always listen.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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