my mom's an idiot and I'm actually screwed because of it
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06-12-2016, 09:34 PM
my mom's an idiot and I'm actually screwed because of it
So today I got off of work around 5:30 and got a call from my little sister's principle that she was still at school, after like two hours, and my mom had never picked her up. My little sister is 13, and she left the car rider line because she had a stomach ache. My mom didn't see her in the car rider line, thought she took the bus, went home, realized she didn't take the bus, and eventually my mom picks my little sister up around 6pm.

So I get home and I message my mom, trying to figure out what happened. Ironically, my biological dad calls me and he's like "Look, I need you to make sure your sister is safe, word through the grapevine is that something isn't quite right and your mom may lose her." And so I'm like???? lose her to what? literally right after the phone call with my dad, my mom messages me back freaking out that DHR (Department of Human Resources, pretty much child protection services) is taking my little sister from her. I had no idea what was actually going on, so I messaged my little sister and I was like hey, tell the caseworkers I'll be there in twenty minutes, I want to talk to them and figure out what exactly is going on.

So I drive out there, and the case worker explains to me that one of the neighbors had reported my mom because they thought she was either on drugs or mentally unfit to parent. Basically for the past couple of months my mom has been under the impression of her ex boyfriend (and the drama associated with him) harassing her, people hiding out in the woods around the house and even hiding up underneath the trailer she lives in to harass her, as well as like writing profanity on the outside of the home and on the windows. For a while I believed my mom, but it eventually got to a point where my little sister and I thought that it was mostly paranoia and most of it was in her head. I didn't know if she was actually paranoid, if these things were actually even happening, if she was just going insane or if she was on something.

The caseworker tells me my mom tests positive for methamphetamine.

So the entire night I'm calling family members trying to find someone to house my little sister, and pretty much everyone in my family is unable to. Even myself. I live about 40 minutes away from my sister's school district, I work 40 hours a week and am unable to deliver her to and from school, and I can hardly afford myself let alone take care of her, as much as I hate to admit it. I still rely on others to ensure my wellbeing, and now I have temporary guardianship of a 13 year old that I can't take care of.

My options are to either let foster take her, and I really don't want that. The case worker said my little sister is "signed off until March" and she made it sound as though if my mom attended her rehabilitation classes, passed her regular drug tests and checked out okay as far as mental health goes, my mom could get her back in March. But multiple people have told me that once she's in the foster care system, it's extremely hard to get her out, and I don't even want to know how I would feel knowing my little sister was there. I'm just not fit at all to provide for her.

But my biological dad is. However, this poses another problem. The case is set in Alabama, and my dad lives about two hours into Georgia. I'm not even sure the judge would allow him to take her because he lives over state lines. However, he would be able to pass a drug test. My dad has been clean for five years, lives in a nice home, and would even be willing to relocate to a three bedroom home just so my little sister would have a bedroom of her own. But really what this boils down to is, will Alabama even let him take her because he lives in a different state? I mean, it's not like she's being handed over to an aunt or uncle, cousin or grandparents. This is her biological dad. The only offputting thing about my dad is that he is on probation, but he's on unsupervised probation, so he no longer has to pay fees, report to an officer, and he can travel to any state he wants to. He even mentioned there's a good possibility he could visit his probation office and they may even drop his probation because he's been so good and he's almost at the end of his probation anyways.

I just wanted to rant about how fucking shit my day was though. We'll figure out what happens tomorrow. Our only options are foster or my dad, and I'm really hoping this judge isn't an asshole and lets my dad take her.
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06-12-2016, 09:44 PM
RE: my mom's an idiot and I'm actually screwed because of it
(06-12-2016 09:34 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  So today I got off of work around 5:30 and got a call from my little sister's principle that she was still at school, after like two hours, and my mom had never picked her up. My little sister is 13, and she left the car rider line because she had a stomach ache. My mom didn't see her in the car rider line, thought she took the bus, went home, realized she didn't take the bus, and eventually my mom picks my little sister up around 6pm.

So I get home and I message my mom, trying to figure out what happened. Ironically, my biological dad calls me and he's like "Look, I need you to make sure your sister is safe, word through the grapevine is that something isn't quite right and your mom may lose her." And so I'm like???? lose her to what? literally right after the phone call with my dad, my mom messages me back freaking out that DHR (Department of Human Resources, pretty much child protection services) is taking my little sister from her. I had no idea what was actually going on, so I messaged my little sister and I was like hey, tell the caseworkers I'll be there in twenty minutes, I want to talk to them and figure out what exactly is going on.

So I drive out there, and the case worker explains to me that one of the neighbors had reported my mom because they thought she was either on drugs or mentally unfit to parent. Basically for the past couple of months my mom has been under the impression of her ex boyfriend (and the drama associated with him) harassing her, people hiding out in the woods around the house and even hiding up underneath the trailer she lives in to harass her, as well as like writing profanity on the outside of the home and on the windows. For a while I believed my mom, but it eventually got to a point where my little sister and I thought that it was mostly paranoia and most of it was in her head. I didn't know if she was actually paranoid, if these things were actually even happening, if she was just going insane or if she was on something.

The caseworker tells me my mom tests positive for methamphetamine.

So the entire night I'm calling family members trying to find someone to house my little sister, and pretty much everyone in my family is unable to. Even myself. I live about 40 minutes away from my sister's school district, I work 40 hours a week and am unable to deliver her to and from school, and I can hardly afford myself let alone take care of her, as much as I hate to admit it. I still rely on others to ensure my wellbeing, and now I have temporary guardianship of a 13 year old that I can't take care of.

My options are to either let foster take her, and I really don't want that. The case worker said my little sister is "signed off until March" and she made it sound as though if my mom attended her rehabilitation classes, passed her regular drug tests and checked out okay as far as mental health goes, my mom could get her back in March. But multiple people have told me that once she's in the foster care system, it's extremely hard to get her out, and I don't even want to know how I would feel knowing my little sister was there. I'm just not fit at all to provide for her.

But my biological dad is. However, this poses another problem. The case is set in Alabama, and my dad lives about two hours into Georgia. I'm not even sure the judge would allow him to take her because he lives over state lines. However, he would be able to pass a drug test. My dad has been clean for five years, lives in a nice home, and would even be willing to relocate to a three bedroom home just so my little sister would have a bedroom of her own. But really what this boils down to is, will Alabama even let him take her because he lives in a different state? I mean, it's not like she's being handed over to an aunt or uncle, cousin or grandparents. This is her biological dad. The only offputting thing about my dad is that he is on probation, but he's on unsupervised probation, so he no longer has to pay fees, report to an officer, and he can travel to any state he wants to. He even mentioned there's a good possibility he could visit his probation office and they may even drop his probation because he's been so good and he's almost at the end of his probation anyways.

I just wanted to rant about how fucking shit my day was though. We'll figure out what happens tomorrow. Our only options are foster or my dad, and I'm really hoping this judge isn't an asshole and lets my dad take her.

Sure hope this works out with your dad. Hug
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06-12-2016, 09:52 PM
RE: my mom's an idiot and I'm actually screwed because of it
Hug

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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06-12-2016, 09:58 PM
RE: my mom's an idiot and I'm actually screwed because of it
You need to talk to a lawyer RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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06-12-2016, 10:07 PM
RE: my mom's an idiot and I'm actually screwed because of it
(06-12-2016 09:58 PM)Minimalist Wrote:  You need to talk to a lawyer RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

my dad is calling one in the morning
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06-12-2016, 10:25 PM
RE: my mom's an idiot and I'm actually screwed because of it
(06-12-2016 09:34 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  So today I got off of work around 5:30 and got a call from my little sister's principle that she was still at school, after like two hours, and my mom had never picked her up. My little sister is 13, and she left the car rider line because she had a stomach ache. My mom didn't see her in the car rider line, thought she took the bus, went home, realized she didn't take the bus, and eventually my mom picks my little sister up around 6pm.

So I get home and I message my mom, trying to figure out what happened. Ironically, my biological dad calls me and he's like "Look, I need you to make sure your sister is safe, word through the grapevine is that something isn't quite right and your mom may lose her." And so I'm like???? lose her to what? literally right after the phone call with my dad, my mom messages me back freaking out that DHR (Department of Human Resources, pretty much child protection services) is taking my little sister from her. I had no idea what was actually going on, so I messaged my little sister and I was like hey, tell the caseworkers I'll be there in twenty minutes, I want to talk to them and figure out what exactly is going on.

So I drive out there, and the case worker explains to me that one of the neighbors had reported my mom because they thought she was either on drugs or mentally unfit to parent. Basically for the past couple of months my mom has been under the impression of her ex boyfriend (and the drama associated with him) harassing her, people hiding out in the woods around the house and even hiding up underneath the trailer she lives in to harass her, as well as like writing profanity on the outside of the home and on the windows. For a while I believed my mom, but it eventually got to a point where my little sister and I thought that it was mostly paranoia and most of it was in her head. I didn't know if she was actually paranoid, if these things were actually even happening, if she was just going insane or if she was on something.

The caseworker tells me my mom tests positive for methamphetamine.

So the entire night I'm calling family members trying to find someone to house my little sister, and pretty much everyone in my family is unable to. Even myself. I live about 40 minutes away from my sister's school district, I work 40 hours a week and am unable to deliver her to and from school, and I can hardly afford myself let alone take care of her, as much as I hate to admit it. I still rely on others to ensure my wellbeing, and now I have temporary guardianship of a 13 year old that I can't take care of.

My options are to either let foster take her, and I really don't want that. The case worker said my little sister is "signed off until March" and she made it sound as though if my mom attended her rehabilitation classes, passed her regular drug tests and checked out okay as far as mental health goes, my mom could get her back in March. But multiple people have told me that once she's in the foster care system, it's extremely hard to get her out, and I don't even want to know how I would feel knowing my little sister was there. I'm just not fit at all to provide for her.

But my biological dad is. However, this poses another problem. The case is set in Alabama, and my dad lives about two hours into Georgia. I'm not even sure the judge would allow him to take her because he lives over state lines. However, he would be able to pass a drug test. My dad has been clean for five years, lives in a nice home, and would even be willing to relocate to a three bedroom home just so my little sister would have a bedroom of her own. But really what this boils down to is, will Alabama even let him take her because he lives in a different state? I mean, it's not like she's being handed over to an aunt or uncle, cousin or grandparents. This is her biological dad. The only offputting thing about my dad is that he is on probation, but he's on unsupervised probation, so he no longer has to pay fees, report to an officer, and he can travel to any state he wants to. He even mentioned there's a good possibility he could visit his probation office and they may even drop his probation because he's been so good and he's almost at the end of his probation anyways.

I just wanted to rant about how fucking shit my day was though. We'll figure out what happens tomorrow. Our only options are foster or my dad, and I'm really hoping this judge isn't an asshole and lets my dad take her.

If your back is against the wall and you need to take her, the state should provide her financially. This may help you with your rent and food and such. Maybe you can make it work and you can both help each other out.

I wish you all the best. It's a tough situation for everyone and I don't envy anyone who has to make a decision like this.
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06-12-2016, 11:09 PM
RE: my mom's an idiot and I'm actually screwed because of it
Ferdi. Sad I wish I knew what to say. What an awful situation. Thinking of you. Hug

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06-12-2016, 11:18 PM
RE: my mom's an idiot and I'm actually screwed because of it
Undecided

Sorry Ferd, that's rough. Your Mama needs to get clean. Hopefully your Dad can take over caring for your sister. Get the lawyer, hope for the best. With luck and a bit of lawyerly assistance you guys will be OK. Also do explore the option Aliza mentioned - maybe the lawyer will be able to help with that too. If you've got two options then if one bombs you're still not quite down and out.

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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07-12-2016, 02:36 AM
RE: my mom's an idiot and I'm actually screwed because of it
(06-12-2016 10:07 PM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(06-12-2016 09:58 PM)Minimalist Wrote:  You need to talk to a lawyer RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

my dad is calling one in the morning


Just a word from experience.

Never trust another to do an important thing correctly. Call yourself.

Better to be 1st than 2nd in knowledge.


Good luck.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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08-12-2016, 06:18 PM
RE: my mom's an idiot and I'm actually screwed because of it
I have very limited knowledge on which to base any advice for you, but I will say that I used to be a social worker with the Department of Human Services and they can offer you some assistance if you end up taking care of her. It's a pain in the butt process (at least it was in California) but they will help you with food stamps, cash aid, etc., and there's extra assistance available for foster situations. I believe they will base any decisions about your dad taking her on what he was on probation for, if that's even a consideration at all. I don't believe it would matter that he is in another state. I've seen many situations where children lost parents and were sent to live wth grandparents states away.

Whatever happens, my thoughts are with you and your sister, and I hope your mom is able to get the help she needs as well.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who has said it- not even if I have said it- unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense. - Buddha
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