not dealing with things so well
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03-04-2017, 12:09 PM
RE: not dealing with things so well
I regularly feel hopeless too.

I'm more happy than I was years ago but still a lot more unhappy than I was last year.
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03-04-2017, 04:33 PM
RE: not dealing with things so well
(03-04-2017 12:09 PM)EvieTheTurtle Wrote:  I regularly feel hopeless too.

I'm more happy than I was years ago but still a lot more unhappy than I was last year.

Hugs Evie

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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03-04-2017, 06:06 PM
not dealing with things so well
I don't know what to say that others haven't already pointed out. I agree that you need a different therapist and that you suffer from depression.

Most cases of depression are manageable to some degree with meds. I hope you find the help you need. Don't give up.
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03-04-2017, 07:48 PM
RE: not dealing with things so well
ok so i should probably clarify a few things
1-i am almost 21 years old. i am a college student and am doing well in classes because the content is easy.
2-i live on-campus out of state but go home often to feed frogs and such. i want to have my own place and never have to go home again, but its a process to be on my own and change insurance and mobile carriers and such
3-i am trying to get an appointment to be properly evaluated. i have a few contacts now. again, not sure why this wasnt done sooner
4-my mother now seems supportive of me finding adequate help. not sure why she thought it was a good idea to befriend my therapist but i think this caused a problem. one time she was like "im just gonna tell her 'same shit, different day'" which doesnt address any actual issues and if u go in with a script then u really dont belong there

idk how to feel about my mother. i want nothing to do with my family. they havent been the nicest to me and they caused a lot of damage. she isnt helpful and decides to take it personally that i dont trust her with certain things. then she gets mad if im in a miserable mood but if shes in a bad mood she thinks "oh but im not actually hurting anyone". if she means that physically then sure fine shes not, and neither am i
and then she thinks this is all because im becoming an adult.
ive been an adult since middle school, when i had to become the "man of the house" after my parents' divorce. after i had to become the caretaker of a 90 year old relative when i was only 14. im in my 2nd year of college. im not JUST becoming an adult are people really that dumb?
then my current therapist blames peoples issues on the weather or moon phase and she talks too much spiritual and pseudoscience bullcrap
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03-04-2017, 10:24 PM
RE: not dealing with things so well
I'd have to agree that you're showing signs of depression.

"Governments don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking That is against their interests.
They want obedient workers people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork And just dumb enough to passively accept it."

- George Carlin
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03-04-2017, 11:40 PM
RE: not dealing with things so well
(03-04-2017 07:48 PM)seagull Wrote:  im not JUST becoming an adult are people really that dumb?
No, just your mom.
Kidding. Wink
I'm leaving any assessment of your mom for you. I can't assume anything about a person I've never interacted with. So, I'll say your mom is probably just a mom. In some ways, you will always be her baby and she may not be ready to let you go. Nonetheless, You're an adult and your own life and independence should be the thing keeping you busy. Mom is just going to have to grow up. Shy

(03-04-2017 07:48 PM)seagull Wrote:  then my current therapist blames peoples issues on the weather or moon phase and she talks too much spiritual and pseudoscience bullcrap

Yea - you need to get away from that nonsense as soon as possible. If your mom insists on paying for your therapy, fantastic! (probably required for insurance) Tell her to give you the money for whatever therapist you find and you will make certain to get her the receipt for the insurance.

You seem to be on track to get the help you need, Seagull. With proper evaluation, I think you'll be fine. Shy

As I said previously, you have a lot on your plate, even if your classes are fairly easy. You're in college - you got a lot of living to do! Thumbsup

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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03-04-2017, 11:51 PM
RE: not dealing with things so well
Evaluate yourself.

http://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/ma...pression#1

Quote:A constant sense of hopelessness and despair is a sign you may have major depression, also known as clinical depression.

With major depression, it may be difficult to work, study, sleep, eat, and enjoy friends and activities. Some people have clinical depression only once in their life, while others have it several times in a lifetime.

Then find a new therapist.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
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04-04-2017, 12:13 AM (This post was last modified: 04-04-2017 12:16 AM by JesseB.)
RE: not dealing with things so well
Seems like most american parents never see their children become adults. This is a big problem on so many levels and play's a heavy role in both the abuse of children and the abuse of adult children.....

I've dated girls in their 20's who had to obey their parents, had bed times ect. Like.... I could understand if this was some family fetish kink thing.... I mean that kinda thing grosses most people out, but to me that would be a better explanation than parents who simply can't treat their adult children like fucking adults.

For the record I'm not advocating family fetish kinks, I'm simply saying to me treating an adult like a child is far worse.... unless that's a kink they are into and it's like a thing for them >.>

What I'm saying is its fucking sick for your parent to be talking to your therapist if you're an adult. I also think its sick if they do that when you're a kid. American parents need to learn some FUCKING boundaries, this shit pisses me off. You are not property, you are a fucking person. You were a person at 1 year old, you were a person at 16 years old, you were a person at 18 years old and you're a person fucking now. And there's clear signs your parents have had issues with treating you like a person this entire time. No wonder you're depressed..... I would be too.... They are attempting to rob you of your sense of self, your identity, your self worth, your individuality, you're very existence when they engage in activities like that. Even if they don't realize it, or aren't trying to. (this is what I think about any parents who do any things like this, its a personal opinion)




DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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04-04-2017, 03:07 AM (This post was last modified: 04-04-2017 01:29 PM by Sturm.)
RE: not dealing with things so well
Quote:i haven't been feeling up to anything lately. i always have a lingering feeling of hopelessness but it has been worsening over time
i dont really see much of a point to doing things anymore.
my motivation is down the drain and i feel like anything i do is just me going through motions without actually being engaged in things. i cant focus and i always feel exhausted. im always on the verge of crying and im getting increasingly withdrawn.

I have been feeling the exact same way for almost a year, and things had steadily worsened, until recently, and even though I'm still not out of depression, it starts going a bit better. So it's not because you're in this situation now that it will last, things can get better. First, I think it's good that you are going to see a therapist (I mean a new competent therapist, not the one who blames moon phases...), it's important to get help when you're in such a situation, I started seeing a therapist a few months ago, and it helped me go through this.
About the lack of motivation to do anything, and the lack of excitement when you do things, I know it's not only frustrating but it can feel terrifying (even now I still get panic attacks because of this)...recently I had an activity planned, a few years ago I would have jump on the spot in anticipation for the same thing, but now I wasn't even excited, I was almost indifferent to it, but I did it anyway, and it went good, and while doing it, it made me feel slightly better. So I try to push my self to do activities, even though the prospect of doing them bring me no excitement. Once you start the activity, sometimes (not always, it depends on which activity you do), but it helps you feel better.
The positive emotions and motivation are a feeling that you need to learn back, and it is only by trying to do things that you can learn them back, if you stay home, doing nothing, it won't come back.

What helped me the most in my situation is a big change in my life, of course it depends on if there is something you can change and need to change in your life, but if you can identify something in your life that needs to be changed, it can help, and it brings motivation when you start some change, and something to focus on.

Anyway, your new therapist will help you on this, I hope you'll start seeing the process reverse itself soon and start recovering from this.
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04-04-2017, 09:04 AM
RE: not dealing with things so well
(04-04-2017 12:13 AM)JesseB Wrote:  ---
---
American parents need to learn some FUCKING boundaries, this shit pisses me off. You are not property, you are a fucking person. You were a person at 1 year old, you were a person at 16 years old, you were a person at 18 years old and you're a person fucking now.
---

JesseB is spot on here, Seagull. It's about boundaries.
It's become obvious even to you that you will need to be the one to establish new and proper boundaries. And it may be stressing you, without you even being aware of it.

You said yourself that you had "...been an adult since middle school, when i had to become the "man of the house" after my parents' divorce." This should not have been an expectation of your mom - not even jokingly.

You don't have to behave angrily toward her - she may not be entirely at fault. From her behavior, she was most likely raised in a similar, co-dependent manner. The one thing you can do is to take charge of your own life and not worry about her. She needs to be on her own. Finally.

It's possible you instinctively know all this and your brain wants to instinctively shut down and just not deal with it. The independence of college life and having to deal with breaking away from the mom can be a stressful combination. Stress will kick up all kinds of chemicals and toss them into the brain. Boom - chemical imbalance.

Get with your new therapist and let them know exactly what you've written here. You instinctively know things aren't right and you need help. When you seek and get help - you're doing it right. Thumbsup

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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