off topic...bro text argument over break up email
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01-01-2014, 11:42 PM (This post was last modified: 02-01-2014 01:16 AM by Adrianime.)
Sad off topic...bro text argument over break up email
This is a small..completely unnecessary aftermath of me breaking up with my gf
off topic...breaking up with my best friend

My older bro of 10 yrs decided to be the opposite of supportive. This is the first time he has ever spoken like this to me. He has done this to other fam members before, but never me.

I wrote an email to several friends and family members to let them know that me and my gf had split (she has spent time with much of my family and friends).

Here is the Email:
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This is a mass email out to friends and family (everyone is blind copied). To avoid confusion and awkwardness I wanted to clearly say that [ex gf name] and I are no longer together. We wish to remain good friends if possible, so you may see her again. However it is also possible that she will be moving back to the tri-cities.

Our time together was great, and there was no negative event/incident that drove us apart.

There is no need to reply to this. If you want to ask about any further details, please do it in person, as I don't want to have any text or phone conversations about this at this time.

Thanks for being understanding.

-Adrian

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About an hour later...this text conversation happened between me and my older brother. My phone is old so I have to transcribe these texts onto the comp. I am censoring out his swear words, but besides that I am transcribing this exactly as it was written (keeping all typos and grammar/punctuation mistakes).

I'll call my brother D. and me A. And yes, he did send like 10x more texts than me. Note that I just broke up with my gf of almost 3 years less than 12 hours before this conversation started.

red text is a comment that isn't part of the texting. I know this is long, but if you did read it through, I would like to know your thoughts.
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D. A mass text to the famm about your girlfriend? Not cool. You assume your relationship is anyone else's business. We all knew what was up. You didn't have to say. She told everyone and you acted it out. A man way to handle would have been to talk to the one person with relationship experience in our family. The guy who has dated lots of types of girls. From big bro to little bro, to just ask. But you thought you knew better Nd send a mass text to the family. Lol good luck with that.
[[this was not part of the text convo, but I will say that him saying "we all knew what was up" and "She told everyone and you acted it out" made absolutely no sense to me. My ex didn't casually talk to any members of my family]]

A. I don't know what ur talking about. and i handle things my way, not anybody elses way

D. Yeah the way to make yourself a reporter to the fam instead of being a man and handling your business with tact
D. That was ridiculous and makes you look like a fool
D. A major girl move
D. Whatever you think you accomplished by telling your whole family you broke up with your first girlfriend in a mass text will surely backfire but YOU must know better so like said. Good luck with that
D. Try talking like a normal human next time
D. Oh and next time nyou feel you need to express that you do things "your way" when you do something stupid as hell, save that for your dad. I don't care if you act like a fool. But I'm still your brother and try to help by telling you


A. Im sorry i don't live up to ur standards man, but i am who i am. the email was to avoid ppl asking about it.
[[in retrospect, I meant to say the email was to avoid ppl asking about her without knowing we were not longer together]]

D. Don't play the victim. Just think about it logically

A. [Brother's name] I dont think you are right on this. you dont believe i am right either. so we are even

D. I don't have standards for you except that you love and respect me the same way I do you
D. Whatever kid. You wanna treat your breakup like a girl, be my guest. It's a mistake that you did and you will see why later.
D. You just think you are correct without a base for it. You are wrong and have no logic to back it up or even experience. you think you know better than someone who has experience. You didn't stop people from asking about you. That's just dumb


A. See, the thing is i don't believe there is a huge emotional difference between men and women, so if im acting like a girl to you then so be it.


D. Saying its " your way " and you won't listen to anyone else makes you sound like dad and a piece of sh**. Don't act like you are better than having to talk to people

A. You telling people that your way is the only correct way makes you sound like dad man. anyways this is already one of the worst days of my life, it isnt about you, im sorry.

D. Ummm. Wow. Ok. No emotional difference? It's proven science. Dude you are kinda scarring me. THis is what happens when you start dating this late
D. Whatever dude act like a girl. You actin like dad. He is a coward just like you
D. Act like a bi*** all you want. But don't think I'm gonna be cool with it.
D. I never said "my way". I said what you did was wrong. You shouldn't have done that


A. My way was right for me. mow i dont have to reetell everybody 20 times.

D. Well since you think you are so smart and you are so fu**ing stupid about this just just know I am pissed at you for being stubborn like a girl
D. You will have to retell everyone you fool!!!!
D. Says a lot you can't take your older experienced brother telling you you should have handled that another way


A. Dude stop insulting me i don't know why you are going out of your way to hurt me. i cant always agree with you

D. Man
D. You are the one insulting. And I'm instulted. Now i will insult you if I feel it necessary so screw you kid. You ungrateful little shi*
D. I never demanded an agreement. Just another thought about it. YOU are obsessed with acting like a victim here like a girl
D. So play it like your older sister taught you. no one will respect you though. Especially me
D. Next time.you want to throw out that someone is acting like dad because they ask you to look at something another way get it right. It's you acting like him by denying it. Kid


A. Dude you are being a hypocrite. how about trying to look at it my way or trying to understand me or how i feel instead of labeling me and telling me im wrong?


D. Hey if that's all you take from my words then shame on you. I have been clear here. You treating this conversation like a power struggle. It's not. I'm your older bro who knows better than to text my relationship status to a broken and hurt family
D. So instead of.embrace my help you play a victim role like your crazy sisters. I don't respect that
D. Hope talking shi* to me was worth it.


A. I don't respect what you have done either. you dont see how telling me that im stupid wrong, a girl, and that my way of thinking is inferior to yours on this matter is disrespectful?

D. To be honest, I don't give a Fu** about your relationships or how stupid you make yourself look after you wasted opportunities I gave and now you think you know everything. LMAO. you don't know shi*
D. Oh so this is about me now?


A. This is about our conversation.
[[now he tried calling me like 10 times but I did not want to talk and I was getting ready to meet up with some friends.]]

D. Answer your phone coward

A. No, I dont want to talk on the phone right now. sorry

D. Yeah well you are just a little bi***. I'm done cottling you
D. You want to throw out jabs at your bro for helping you, I'm done.
D. Why don't you be specific about what you don't respect that i have done so its all out there you little coward
D. Since its probably not the truth
D. Dude you a little bi***. We ain't coo no more
D. Atleast [my little bro's name] not a little bi*** like you
D. No need for you to take the gift I took the time to get you. Just leave it at moms bi***boy


A. what I thought was disrespectful was calling me stupid, a girl, telling me my way of doing things is inferior to your way. called me the b word, and not being anything near sensitive or supportive towards my choice to break up with the person who is the most important person in the world to me....and then any time i disagree with you you insult me and disrespect me more. why cant i disagree with you without you getting so mad? im not trying to be a victim, im not trying to be a bully, im just trying to be honest with you because i dont want to act like i am somebody that im not with people i care about.

D. You playin victim Rome perfectly like a bi***. It's what you were taught, but aren't smart enough to see.
D. Conversation over. You can't even communicate honestly with me then you are screwed like the others in our fam who think they are smarter. Like your dad does. Reread this and feel your own stupidity
D. To do this to your bro who was trying to be there for you is unrespectable
D. And seriously, go take a science class about men and women's emotions you little girl
D. They are not the same
D. LMAO, your FIRST girl and you tell ME I don't know. LMAO dummy


A. She is my 4th gf.

D. Yeah right kid.
D. And not the point. But a girl thing to toss back that has no logic


A. Ok, your choice to not believe me. i am at a restaurant with some friends though, im gunna stop texting for now. im sorry if i hurt your feelings man, im not trying to.

D. You can't front to me. You have no girl experience Remember I was trying to hook you up with some hot girls just a few years ago and you botched that too. Have fun being a girl like your sisters want you to be. You might as well get a sex change. Guess I only have one brother and six sisters
[[to be fair I have a complicated relationship history that I have hidden from almost everybody in my life, so he does not know about my past gfs]]

A. Do you dislike me now man? do you honestly think I'm lying to you?

D. The normal response to my text would be. " hey why do you think it is a mistake to send a mass email around"?. Not fight me. Yeah I'm pretty fu**ing pissed you would front to me when I take the time to be a bro to you
D. I'm not your dad. I'm your older bro.


A. I'm not asking you to be my dad.
A. Well i dont think this conversation is going anywhere, like i said, im sorry you are hurt by this.


D. Nope you are acting like I am your dad
D. Like I said. Reread this at your own peril , cuz you might understand what an idiot you just were to your older brother. Then again you seem set in these bi***ass ways and beliefs so goodluck looking like a bi***

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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02-01-2014, 12:02 AM
RE: off topic...bro text argument over break up email
Does he have a drug or alcohol problem or in some other way mentally screwed up? Cuz that dude is whacked in the head.

Look up toxic relationships- It will show his photo.

I have a few family members that are off their rockers- I have learned to limit my contact with them and to not share details of my life with them. The constant battle over their opinion about my life is just mentally draining for me and not worth it. I love them more when I don't let them in.

My motto- friends are the family you get to pick.


If it were me, I would avoid this guy as much as I could.


Be excellent to each other and party on, Dudes!
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02-01-2014, 12:03 AM
RE: off topic...bro text argument over break up email
Wow. I don't really have words.....

Well I do, but this being the PIAS section I'm gonna adhere to the old "If you don't have anything nice to say...." adage.

I'm sorry bro, that's not how family should be. Seems to me that even with his extensive "experience" with relationships, he never learned a damn thing.

"It's a most distressing affliction to have a sentimental heart and a skeptical mind.”
― نجيب محفوظ, Sugar Street
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02-01-2014, 12:25 AM
RE: off topic...bro text argument over break up email
He does have a point tho. You mass sended your notification of your break up? Not cool brah.
That said,good luck with your brother. Hee seems like an asshole.

KC IS A LIAR!!!! HE PROMISED ME VANILLA CAKES AND GAVE ME STRAWBERRY CAKE Weeping
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02-01-2014, 12:35 AM
RE: off topic...bro text argument over break up email
I feel it's appropriate to let the people you care about know about a major life event, such as breaking up with a girl who they all thought you would marry. But I understand that some people don't agree with that.

LightVader, why do you think it is a bad idea?

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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02-01-2014, 12:38 AM
RE: off topic...bro text argument over break up email
(02-01-2014 12:35 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  I feel it's appropriate to let the people you care about know about a major life event, such as breaking up with a girl who they all thought you would marry. But I understand that some people don't agree with that.

I would appreciate it because i would be the one sticking my foot in my mouth at the next family event asking if you popped the question yet. LOL


Be excellent to each other and party on, Dudes!
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02-01-2014, 12:39 AM
RE: off topic...bro text argument over break up email
Lol i was just janking yer chain. Altho personally i wouldnt send mass emails,you should feel free to do whatever you want. Your brother looks like dipshit and his arguments are stupid. Anyway,you could have chosen to not respond in the first place. You did say " if you wanted to talk about it,talk to me in person"

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02-01-2014, 12:44 AM (This post was last modified: 02-01-2014 12:54 AM by Adrianime.)
RE: off topic...bro text argument over break up email
Thanks for reading this guys

(02-01-2014 12:02 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  Look up toxic relationships- It will show his photo.

If it were me, I would avoid this guy as much as I could.
Several of my sisters have taken this route. I don't like cutting people out. I try to accept everybody (i care about) for what they are, as long as they don't go out of their way to hurt me. I don't think he wants to hurt me..he just has a different set of values than I do I guess. My sisters have also described him as you did above.

I don't want to lose my bro, but I'm not going to try to resolve this with him now. He is the only family member I was close to growing up. We shared a room since I can remember, until he moved out before I was 10. After that I always felt alone in the house.

I don't even know when I'll be able to drop off his Christmas gifts.

(02-01-2014 12:03 AM)evenheathen Wrote:  Wow. I don't really have words.....

Well I do, but this being the PIAS section I'm gonna adhere to the old "If you don't have anything nice to say...." adage.

I'm sorry bro, that's not how family should be. Seems to me that even with his extensive "experience" with relationships, he never learned a damn thing.
Thanks for keeping up with my issues man. Yeah, I mean, I have my faults, I can't say my way of doing things is perfect, but I'm also not going to go and tell somebody they are stupid for doing it their way. And you can be honest. If I deserve some criticism I'll take it. Just be respectful por favor.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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02-01-2014, 12:45 AM
RE: off topic...bro text argument over break up email
Oh,why i think its a bad idea? I don't like to tell people stuff about my (love)life untill they ask about it,and personally,if i recieved one of those messages like you sent,i would feel akward like "why the hell did he send that for,i don't need to know about that"

but thats just me. Or maybe its just cuz i didlike family who share every little event that happened (because my family is like that)

KC IS A LIAR!!!! HE PROMISED ME VANILLA CAKES AND GAVE ME STRAWBERRY CAKE Weeping
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02-01-2014, 12:48 AM (This post was last modified: 02-01-2014 12:57 AM by Adrianime.)
RE: off topic...bro text argument over break up email
(02-01-2014 12:38 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  I would appreciate it because i would be the one sticking my foot in my mouth at the next family event asking if you popped the question yet. LOL
Haha...see this is the exact scenario I was thinking about when writing the Email. Just the other week I got "when are you going to give me a new nephew?" from my sister. And my Grandma asked about her on Christmas. Even today at lunch, one of the people that didn't know was like, "Where is [her name]?" All my other friends looked at her and said, "Shhhh!".

This knowledge will at least sidestep that awkward moment.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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