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24-04-2013, 08:48 AM
parents
Hello every one. I still live with my parents and they know I'm an atheist. I recently got a TTA T-shirt. The one with just the logo. I wore it once and then put it in the laundry. Now it is gone. My only logical conclusion can be that my mother threw it away. I think this because the same thing happened the last time I got an atheist shirt. I confronted my mother about it this morning but I had to go to school. I know there is going to be a fight when I get home. I need advice on how to tell her that this is wrong and make her understand why this is so offensive
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24-04-2013, 09:32 AM
RE: parents
Sounds like it may be too late at this juncture but the best way to handle it would be to ask her to help you find it, as though you lost it. Handling it in that fashion gives her the opportunity to "find" it, should the case be that she's merely hidden it. But by leveling an accusation or confronting her with any sort of accusatory tone, you've forced her to stand by the claim that she knows nothing about it. Or, at least, you've forced her to make that claim.

Unless of course, she'll come right out and say she tossed it because it was evil or some such. If that's the case, just bide your time and GTFO as soon as you can because there's not much you can do to make unreasonable people think logically... especially when they're your parents.

Without any knowledge of your parents or your relationship to them that's all I can think to offer at this point. Well, aside from also suggesting that tending to your own laundry is a much more sound (and peaceful) way to ensure that your laundry doesn't disappear. Wink

The beginning of wisdom is to call things by their right names. - Chinese Proverb
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24-04-2013, 09:49 AM
RE: parents
(24-04-2013 08:48 AM)Alex STL Wrote:  Hello every one. I still live with my parents and they know I'm an atheist. I recently got a TTA T-shirt. The one with just the logo. I wore it once and then put it in the laundry. Now it is gone. My only logical conclusion can be that my mother threw it away. I think this because the same thing happened the last time I got an atheist shirt. I confronted my mother about it this morning but I had to go to school. I know there is going to be a fight when I get home. I need advice on how to tell her that this is wrong and make her understand why this is so offensive

I would learn to do my own laundry.

I'm sorry. I'm a mom of boys. Here's what I told them once.

It's my house, in my house you live by MY rules.

If you don't like the House Rules, someday you'll be living on your own and can do whatever you like.

I know my rules are probably totally different...If my kids were wearing clothing or listening to music, or playing video games that I didn't approve of...It's my house and I get to decide. I have a 19 year old and I told him off the other day for NOT making his bed and not being helpful around the house.

That said, I'm pretty easy going...but there are things that aren't negotiable.

I get that you find this unfair. I also get that your mom is being a bit passive aggressive in throwing away a shirt (or whatever she did). I'm much more direct.

I have no problem telling my kids they're not dressed appropriately.

But you are still living with her and have to respect her wishes.

And probably learn to do your own laundry if you are going wear things you know she won't approve of.


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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24-04-2013, 09:49 AM
RE: parents
Double post...grrrrrr


God is a concept by which we measure our pain -- John Lennon

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24-04-2013, 10:04 AM
RE: parents
Yeah, her house... her rules.

Until you move out... of course.

Sorry... it's one of the unfortunate side-effects of being young. On the bright side, though, you don't have to stress about providing for a family and being a responsible adult.

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24-04-2013, 10:42 AM
RE: parents
hello every one. thank you for your help. the posts weren't to late. i guess i should have provided that i am in college and don't get out of class until 4. it is nice to have a mom perspective. the thing that bothers me the most about this situation is that it was personal property that i paid for with money that i worked for, so on a moral stand point i feel like no one but me has the right to throw it away. right now i attend community college and have one more year until i transfer to a normal university and move out. as for laundry, i have no other choice but to let my mother do it because i am at school during the day and i work nights so by the time i get home it is too late to do laundry without waking every one up. thank you every one for your input.
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24-04-2013, 11:31 AM
RE: parents
Leave a note in your laundry next time with some bible verses against theft or something...
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24-04-2013, 11:42 AM
RE: parents
You're in college. Do your own laundry. That simple. Smile
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24-04-2013, 12:18 PM
RE: parents
(24-04-2013 10:42 AM)Alex STL Wrote:  hello every one. thank you for your help. the posts weren't to late. i guess i should have provided that i am in college and don't get out of class until 4. it is nice to have a mom perspective. the thing that bothers me the most about this situation is that it was personal property that i paid for with money that i worked for, so on a moral stand point i feel like no one but me has the right to throw it away. right now i attend community college and have one more year until i transfer to a normal university and move out. as for laundry, i have no other choice but to let my mother do it because i am at school during the day and i work nights so by the time i get home it is too late to do laundry without waking every one up. thank you every one for your input.

Still.

If you bring something into her house that she does not agree with, she has the right to get rid of it or deny it.

Throwing the shirt away is definitely the worst case scenario and pretty petty, but if she doesn't want it in her house, you probably shouldn't have brought it in.

If you wants to wear an atheist shirt, I suggest keeping it in your room (away from her eyes) and washing it on your own. If that is absolutely not possible, I say just wait until you move out or have a talk with her.

But, she is in no way inclined to honor your requests or tolerate something that she doesn't agree with in her house.

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24-04-2013, 12:45 PM
Tongue RE: parents
(24-04-2013 11:42 AM)TwoCultSurvivor Wrote:  You're in college. Do your own laundry. That simple. Smile

OF course! lol!

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